Rabbit Hole chap 1
by lostinadaydream73
Summary: So I had to delete this story and re-upload is because of some editing issues. Anyway, the team is pinned down, a grenade it thrown. Sonny covers Clay to save his life. Things don't get easy on him though as a pipe is imbedded in Sonny's leg and Trent and the rest of the guys fight to keep him alive. Everyone hurt.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So this came to me after reading another story and I thought I would run with it. Sonny being impales by a pipe or piece of metal and exfil not being available for several hours. So I decided to run with this. It will probably only be 2 or 3 chapters depending on where I decide to take it. Enjoy!

It's funny how the human body reacts to trauma. There are different types of trauma. Emotional trauma, physical trauma, trauma to the mind. Then there is the perfect storm of trauma where it all seems to happen at once. A perfect storm. The body has to protect it's self from the world around it, from the horribleness that is has. The body will shut down as it seems to reboot itself. It will take stock of what is working and what is not before allowing you to regain consciousness. When you're as trained as SEAL though, as trained as you must be to be among the most elite or elite soldiers, your body seems to operate on a whole other level. You no longer have to take into consideration what your body needs to recover from trauma but rather it must just get up, move on, continue to operate. It doesn't matter if you're ears are ringing, your eyes blurry with debris, and your body aching with injuries adrenaline is preventing you from feeling. You get up until you can't.

As the team moved down the hill side towards the exfil point they picked up their pace. They had completed the mission, had just announced that to COMS and were moving quickly. They had destroyed and obtained information on possible weapons holding facilities of the newest terrorist group that had been emerging in the recent months. The group had extended through the country fast and after the information had been captured and sent back to the states, they were on the move to the exfil point as fast as possible as they kept their heads on a swivel. There was not great intel on where young members of the group were or what kinds of combat numbers and weapons they had. They moved in silence until the deafening noise of a small grenade landing a couple hundred feet in front of their position set off an array of reactions.

"GRENADE!" Jason yelled, "COVER," Ray screamed. There were screams and yells as the men scattered, jumping to cover that the small trees could not provide. Clay felt arms wrap around him as he was shoved, a body on top of him.

Jason didn't know how many minutes had passed as he felt a slap across his face.

"BRAVO 1, Report, ANY BRAVO UNIT REPORT." Eric's voice was echoing in his ear, only adding to the pounding in his head that the ringing was causing. Maybe a concussion. Brock was hovering over him, blood dripping down the side of his face, his breath ragged.

"Jason? You good? Can you speak?" Jason nodded before clearing his throat, "Yeah, I-I, good. Where's, How is?" Jason sat up slowly as Brock extended a hand, "All Bravo units call off. TOC this is BRAVO 1, BRAVO 5 is responsive as well."

"BRAVO 1, good to hear your voice. You gotta move to cover immediately. We do not know how many combatants are in the area. We have an airstrike coming to the area. I say again, seek cover."

"Rodger." Jason replied as he stumbled across the dirt, "Brock are you ok?" Jason asked as Brock grabbed his weapon to provide cover. Ray suddenly was on his feet with Trent in his face. "You good Ray?" Trent yelled, his hand was on his wrist in an odd fashion. Ray nodded before closing his eyes and before anyone could question what was happening Ray let out a small scream and grunt as Trent popped his wrist back into it's socket. Trent turned to Brock and Jason, "Any other known injuries?" He asked as he moved forward, pulling out medical supplies as he moved. There was blood on his arms, his chest, and the side of his neck, a limp to his step, but he didn't seem bothered by any of it as he grabbed Brock's neck and put his penlight in his mouth to get a good look at his head lac.

"Hold pressure on it." Trent instructed, "How long were we out?" Jason asked as he pushed forward towards the last place Clay and Sonny were.

"Not sure, maybe 10 minutes. Ray never lost consciousness. He was, was further from the blast. Had a dislocated wrist with a possible fracture. I had to reset it so he can be somewhat shootable." Jason's mind tried desperately to keep up with Trent's fast words.

"BRAVO 6, I, I need, immediate assistance. BRAVO 3 is, is down. I, I s,say again, BRAVO 3 is down." With those words all the men took off towards the small rock pile Clay had seemed to pull them both behind. The glow stick he had snapped to alert the team of his location was glowing in the moonlight. Jason knelt down next to Sonny who was being held stable by Clay. Spenser had his hands pushed onto a wound on Sonny's stomach but Brock's eyes couldn't tear away from the pipe that was embedded into the thigh of Sonny.

"Son of a bitch." Ray muttered under his breath. "Ok, ok. Ray, set up an overwatch point of some sort we need to keep an eye out for another attack. Brock you got our six. Kairos you provide additional overwatch," The three men moved to their positions. Ray moved up the hill side a couple yards. He needed to stay close to be able to move to an exfil point quickly but he needed a slightly higher vantage point. Brock pulled out his weapons and set up a position where he could engage if he needed to. This was where Trent was meant to take over.

"Spencer talk to me. How long has he been unconscious? Did he regain consciousness? Tell me what you know." Trent spoke so fast as he began cutting off the pant leg of Sonny and stabilizing the pipe that was impaled.

"Uh, he, he never woke up, I, I not that I know." Jason took in for the first time the condition of Trent himself as he held pressure. His face had blood on the side, his breathing ragged as he answered Trent's questions. Jason then looked at Clay who had shrapnel imbedded in his side as well.

"Kid you ok?" Clay only stared at his hands on Sonny's chest. "Spencer? BRAVO 6 what is your physical status report?" Jason tried a more direct question as Trent continued to work.

"Um, lost consciousness, n,not sure how long. I'm, I'm fine. Sonny he has a, a pipe in his leg. And his, his stomach is bleeding." Clay moved his hands for the first time since Trent had knelt down beside him. The blood has mostly slowed from the pressure of Clay's arms but there was an obvious laceration there. Trent nodded. "He, he put himself over me. He, pushed me and he, he laid on me. He, he saved my life." Clay stumbled over the words as he sat back onto his haunches next to Sonny. "You saved his life by keeping pressure and stabilizing the pipe with your med kit gauze. That was smart. We just need to get him out of here quick. He's a tough son of a bitch."

"BRAVO 1 this is HAVOC. What is your update?" Eric's voice was apprehensive across the COMS. "HAVOC this is BRAVO 1. All BRAVO elements are accounted for. We all seem to be ok but we cannot currently get a full evaluation. BRAVO 3 needs immediate medical assistance. I repeat he needs immediate medical assistance. BRAVO 5 is currently working on him but we need to move before whoever the hell threw the grenade comes back with more enforcements. We're sitting ducks." Jason paced as he stared at Clay out of the corner of his eye. Clay was helping to insert an IV in Sonny and place bandages. The kid was in autopilot.

"BRAVO 1 for now we have no exfil plan. I say again we have no exfil. It's too hot. However, Davis has located a small mining shaft that has no current heat around it. We suggest you go there to do a full evaluation of the team while we work on exfil." Jason turned around to have his back to the rest of the men.

"Eric, Sonny needs help now. Trent he's banged up himself. For now he's still able to patch us all up but I'm not sure he's going to be able to patch **himself** up. Clay he's got a nasty head lac and Brock needs to sit the hell down before he falls down. Ray can hardly shoot at this point. You gotta give me another option then to try to move Sonny who is not even conscious."

Eric clenched his fists in frustration. Of course, he wanted to get them the hell out of there. He could see on overwatch just from their body languages that they were not doing well.

"BRAVO 1 get to the mine shaft. We will do everything we can. I assure you. We have air strikes on the move right now to clear out tangos for exfil. We are watching."

"Roger. We'll move to the mine shaft." As Jason move back to where Trent and Clay were he took a deep breath.

"Ok, in 2 mics we are on the move. All BRAVO units we move in 2 mics. We are moving to the mine shaft just south of our current location. Ray and Brock you lead us out. Trent, Clay and myself will move Sonny. Kairos you got back." Jason looked at Trent's reaction as he laid out the plan.

"Jason, his spinal cord is most likely not in the best shape right now. HE has an immense amount of pressure on it from the pipe. I can't see how imbedded it even is. Not to mention if it moves even minimally he could bleed to death." Trent furiously packed more gauze around the pipe.

"If we don't move we are not going to make it out of here. Get him- " Jason was cut off as Sonny suddenly let out a loud groan and started to try to grip at his leg.

"Woah, woah woah." Jason grabbed his hands, Clay grabbed his head to keep him from thrashing too much. "Take is easy Sonny, easy breaths." Sonny was panting as he lay in the dirt. "SON OF A BITCH." He yelled through clamped teeth.

"Sonny, hey, eyes on me. You gotta stay awake now man. Stay with us. You have a pipe piece imbedded in your thigh and a nasty chest lac. I'm gonna fix you up but you gotta just hang in there ok?" Trent leaned in close to his face as he spoke. "We're moving in one mic. Sonny you let us do all the work alright? You just try to stay quiet." Jason grabbed his hand and squeezed and was pleased as he felt Sonny clamp onto his hand.

"W,what, a,about team? How's one?" Sonny's words all seemed to slur together as he spoke. "Everyone's good man. Just focus on you right now. Long breaths. Slow and easy." Trent's voice was calm and even as he spoke to Sonny. It was what made him such a good field medic. He was never not calm. Sonny regaining his consciousness, even though it probably should have stressed Trent out more with the pain Sonny was in, seemed to calm him even more. Brock, Ray, and Kairos suddenly appeared besides us giving us the que that it was time to move. Jason grabbed around Sonny's shoulder and grabbed the back of his belt on his pants and placed his other hand on his chest wound to hold pressure. Clay grabbed the other side and also grabbed his waist as they hauled him up and placed his other hand on his chest to help support him. Sonny let out a suppressed scream. Trent watched his leg as he moved, ready to intervene and pick him all the way off the ground if necessary.

"Alright man, you, you got it." Clay repeated it over and over as they drug Sonny. It was slow moving as they pulled Sonny with as much care as they could in the moment down the hillside. "Sonny man keep talking." Trent reminded him as his head lolled onto the side of Jason. "I,if I do, I'll, s,scream." Sonny spat back as his good leg locked up with exhaustion, nearly pulling all three of them down to the ground. Sonny spit out a few drops of blood as he spoke.

"No, no, no. K,keep m,m,moving." Trent's stuttered as he spoke and Jason took note that he seemed to be getting tired himself. Jason eyed the blood that was still streaming down the side of Trent's neck and shoulder. Never the less they pulled Sonny back up and pushed on.

"BRAVO 1 we can see the shaft. Repeat, we can see the shaft." Ray's voice was welcome news. "Hear that man? They can see it, we're close bud." Jason reminded as his arm strained against the weight of Sonny.

Finally, after long minutes of hauling Sonny they arrived in the shaft. Ray, Brock, and Kairos checked the back of the shaft for any combatants and then set up positioning at the front of the shaft. Cerberus sniffed every inch, ready to alert us to anyone approaching our position. God bless that dog.

"Damn it." Trent cursed as they got Sonny laying back down. Jason made quick work of ditching the tactical gear on Sonny's body. He ripped off his vest and all of his mags. Disconected his helmet and put the the side as well, positioning the flashlight on the top towards his leg. Then he got to work cutting off his pants. Sonny groaned and tried with what little strength he had to stop Jason's actions.

"Sorry man but they have to come off. At least one side." This only enticed another groan from Sonny. "C,c,cold." He groaned out as his teeth chattered. Trent stood up and grabbed Jason's arm, turning him away from Sonny and Clay who was still holding pressure around the pipe on Sonny's leg.

"Jason, now that I got some light on it and can see the angle more of the pipe, I'm worried it's on his artery. I can't remove it." Trent ran a hand through his hair.

"Ok, then we wait till he's at a hospital and try to keep him stable for now." Jason replied quickly, not seeing the problem. "If I leave it in, he risks serious infection. He could lose the leg or, or die before we even get him on the damned chopper! That shit is not clean by any means. He probably already has infection setting in right into his blood stream." Trent's patience was running out. "I have two terrible options and none of the equipment to help me make the call. I need a damned OR."

"Ok, ok I gotcha. I get it." Jason put his hand on Trent's shoulder, his only attempt to settle him. "BASE how long until exfil?" Jason asked Mandy again, "BRAVO 1 exfil is probably an hour and a half to 2 hours out. We're working as fast as we can, but troops are tied up and assets are deployed everywhere we can get them. Riots are popping up faster than we can shut them down to get to you guys." Mandy's voice was strained which Jason knew from years of working with her meant she knew how bad off we were, and she was just as worried as we were.

"Trent, an hour to two hours. What does that mean? Can infection set in that fast?" Jason already knew the answer. "Yeah, it probably already has. At least to a certain extent. I can't, l,let it spread. I, I have to take it out. If it hit an artery Jason, I'm going to have to either find the bleeding and clamp it or he'll bleed out in minutes. I, I'm not sure I-" Jason stopped him, "There is no one Sonny would rather have do this then you." Jason then turned to the front of the shaft, "Ray, come back here we need another set of hands." Ray came as fast as he could and took in Sonny's pale complexion. Sonny's teeth chattered, "It,tt,s c,ccol,d." His head lolled to the side.

"Trent, he, he keeps goin, in and and out man." Clay stared down at him with worry. "C,Cause, I'm, b,bored." Sonny joked as his teeth clamped together. Trent only half grinned at the joke that normal would have put him at ease. "Just a little longer." Jason reminded him.

"Sonny, I have to, I have to take the pipe out man. You gotta hold on for me. I need you to stay awake ok. Jason, you, you keep his arms down. Ray, you uh hold his legs. Clay, I need you to keep his head still and let me know if he loses consciousness. Sonny, I'm doin my best man. Hang in there for me." Trent pulled supplies out of his bag as he spoke and laid them on the towel that Trent had laid out earlierc. The men took their positions that Trent has assigned them. "I, I c,can t,take it." Sonny slurred out. "OK, ok, making the inscision." Trent began to cut around the pipe slightly before he laid the scalpel down. Sonny's back arched off the ground as he gritted his teeth together. The guys all quietly speaking to Sonny, words of "You got it man." And "Stay with us." Sonny continued to try to suppress his screams. "Hit him with, with a,another Morphine s,shot." Trent stuttered to Jason who didn't hesitate to jab the needle into the crook of his arm and inject the Morphine. That was his last one he could have.

"Removing the pipe." Trent's voice was strained, Ray's stomach flipped in his stomach as Trent began to pull the pipe out. The blood that began to pour out as soon as his leg was freed was astonishing. "Shit," was all Trent said over and over and all that needed to be said for them to all understand. The pipe had hit the artery. Blood began pouring out of the wound. Sonny had been thrashing furiously, gritting his teeth to suppress the screams but as the blood poured over Trent's hands he stilled, his face paling. Trent only continued to work as his brothers called out Sonny's name trying to keep him with the land of the living. Trent's hand shook in a rare occasion of what he thought to be nerves. It hit him then that it was not nerves, no training had shaken that out of him a long time ago. This was due to exhaustion and blood lose, and shock, and a probable concussion. He knew he was in rough shape but he also knew that there was no one capable of keeping Sonny alive besides himself. He took a breath as his hands continued to search for the source of the bleed. His two fingers were buried inside Sonny's thigh. Sonny's eyes snapped open as he finally found the bleed.

"Got it! Son of a bitch! I got it man!" Trent's burst of excitement was met with Sonny groaning and desperately trying to escape the roaming hands of Trent who after clamping the artery was checking the rest of his body for injury.

"S,stop." Sonny spat out when he had caught his breath. "Son of a bitch." He added. Sonny was sweating and panting as he lay there. The guys had slowly started to release their grasps on him as Trent settled back on his haunches. He blew out the large breath he had been holding. Jason squeezed his shoulder as Clay punched him in the arm.

"Best damn field medic. Best of the best." Clay smiled before standing up to pull off a layer of his gear to help warm up Sonny. He laid his top layer of clothing over Sonny, tucking it in the sides. As he stood, he stumbled a few steps. This didn't go unnoticed by Trent who was now stitching up the laceration on Sonny's stomach. "Ay, Clay you need me? Talk to me." He never took his eyes off the work on Sonny's stomach. Sonny turned his head to look at Clay from the ground.

"Nah, I'm good. J,just a headache." Trent nodded, "Sure." For now Trent let it go though. Anyone who wasn't critical could wait for the time being. Sonny needed to be monitored as closely as he could manage right now.

Jason came back over to the group after he checked on Kairos and Brock in the front. "I have an update on EXFIL." Jason let a small smile creep across his face, "They got it on the move now. We have an hour before we're outta here boys. An hour and we're good. Everyone settle in. Drink some water." Clay clapped his hands together and Ray let out a laugh, "We're getting out of here. Hell yeah." Even Sonny who had been mostly silent since his last dose of Morphine piped up, "I, I can, can't wa,wait to get, a, a, beer stateside." Jason kneeled down next to him with a smile, "I'm buying." He then turned to Trent and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Hey man, how bout you take a break. I can monitor him just step away for a minute. Get some water." Trent shook his head as he rechecked the clamp on Sonny's leg. "I'm good." Jason wasn't surprised at his boneheaded response so he changed tactics.

"That wasn't me asking. That was an order. BRAVO 5 step back." Trent looked up at him then, blood dried on the side of his face, eyes watering from the debris and dust of the explosion, his breathing labored. He looked like hell. "We won't leave." Clay added from his spot at the top of Sonny's head, trying to clean the blood from his imbedding on his face so they could see what was still bleeding and what had stopped. With that Trent finally stood and rubbed a blood covered hand over his face. It was caked in his hair and at a certain point he could no longer distinguish what was his and what was Sonny's. Trent took a few steps away from the men laying on the ground, caring for Sonny and leaned his head back against the shaft wall. He slowly slid down to the floor and closed his eyes. Not to rest but just simply to stop seeing the blood and the look of pain in Sonny's eyes.

Jason leaned over to Clay, "Give it to me kid. How hurt are you? I can tell you're hiding shit and normally Trent would be all over you but you and I both know he's banged up pretty damn bad himself so spill it." The kid shook his head, "I'm good. We gotta focus on Sonny." Jason sighed with anger that he couldn't verbalize at the moment. The kid was an idiot. "He save my, my life Jace. I, I can, I'm fine. Until he's got care. I'm, f,fine." Jason hated to admit it but he understood. He knew that none of the guys were walking around in the best shape right now. Hell, Brock was still bleeding from the shrapnel and he knew Ray's wrist was still sure as hell not right. He and Kairos were the most unharmed from the blast and he could still feel the concussion and the bruising beginning to set in. No one was doing great right about now, but everyone knew, silently, that there was no way in hell they would speak up when Sonny was on his last leg and Trent was barely holding it together.

The team sat in silence for a little. They listened to the chatter on the COMS. Trent still leaned against the wall. Kairos and Brock holding the front position secure and Clay and Jason never taking their eyes off of Sonny who had also dropped into a state of silence. Jason looked at his leg as Sonny's breath hitched. Son of a bitch, Jason thought. The clamp wasn't holding, the bleeding was starting up again. Clay also noticed the bleed and before he could think pushed his hands onto the wound, trying desperately to hold pressure.

"TRENT GET OVER HERE. HE'S BLEEDING AGAIN." Jason shouted. Trent scrambled to his feet and dropped to his knees next to Clay. "Do not let go. Do you understand. Do not let go Spencer." Trent was trying to find a better place to clamp the artery but with the Morphine burning off from Sonny's body temp he could hardly keep still even with the guys holding him down. The pain was unbearable. He squirmed from Trent's grasp, Clay followed his movements, not letting his grasp weaken. "Damn it I can't find anything. Jason you gotta get them here faster. Jason, Now." Trent's voice was still solid and unwavering, but Jason knew what those words meant. Sonny had minutes left at best if they didn't get them help. Jason stood up to step away from them and Ray took his position holding Sonny still as best they could.

"HAVOC this is BRAVO 1. I need an update." Jason squeezed his eyes shut.

"BRAVO 1 this is HAVOC. We copy you. We are 20 mics out with the EXFIL." Jason turned to Trent, "20 mics." There was a pause, then in the silence of the mine shaft, the deafening silence besides Sonny's labored breathing, Trent shook his head. He didn't have to say the words. 20 minutes would be too long. Jason could feel the bile building but clamped it down. Shoved away the pain of this day.

"HAVOC. 20 Mics is too long. I say again. BRAVO 3 does not appear to have 20 mics. We need immediate medical assistance evacuation." The pause was slight, "Jason, we're on our way. We'll be there." Jason was stunned. It was rare and against protocol for Eric to use his name, especially on an operation. Over the COMS. Somehow that made his stomach twist with hope. That meant he was doing whatever the hell he had to do to get them the hell out of there. That was exactly what Sonny needed. "Copy that HAVOC. BRAVO team is ready for extract." Now all there was to do was to wait.

5 Mics went by before Jason's COMS came back to life. "BRAVO UNITS. ALL BRAVO UNITS. HAVOC is 5 mics out. I say again HAVOC AND EXFIL is 5 mics out. Be ready to move. We are extracting to a halo field where we have an emergency evacuation to the base hospital." Jason spun around to the men, "Alright let's get him ready to move!" Jason shouted back into the COMS that he copied, and they would be ready before moving to Sonny.

"Lieutenant Quinn, did you hear that? You're going home bud. We're getting ya out of here. You stay awake now ok? You do that for me. That's an order." Jason took Sonny's hand, squeezing tight in a faint hope to shake him back into the conscious world that was slowly leaving. Sonny nodded slightly. They rolled him onto the gurney sheet they carried with him, Clay kept the pressure the whole time, clamping the artery with his own fingers.

"Sp,Sp,Spencer?" Sonny stumbled over the name, but it was there, "Yeah man?" Clay leaned in close as Ray, Jason, Sonny, and Kairos lifted the gurney. Brock and Cerberus were taking point.

"BRAVO units EXFIL is 2 mics out." Mandy's voice came over their ears. "Copy." Jason said as they stood ready a few yards back into the shaft.

"You, y,you're a, a, goo,good kid. You, y,you mar,marry your gi,girl. You, be,be happy. F,for me. B,be the, the damned, goo,good sol,soldier y,youa re. I, I made you by, by g,giving you, h,hell." Sonny strained to speak the words, but he was hell bent on getting them out.

"No Sonny, you gotta stay with us. Hang in there. This is not, not goodbye." Clay shook his head as he held the artery tighter.

"T,ta,take care of, of Dav,Davis." Sonny's voice was so quiet it was hardly audible. Trent closed his eyes as tight as he could. This was not happening. Not today. Not after they just lost Adam. Almost lost Clay. Almost lost the whole damned team. Lost Alana. Nearly lost Jason from the team. Everyone.

"Take care of her yourself. You're the toughest damned soldier I know Sonny Quinn you don't get to give up you son of a bitch. Fight." It was Jason who spoke up with anger in his voice. Anger at the thought of losing someone else. Anger at the thought of having to bury another brother. Anger at the world.

Sonny grasped Jason's hand, in a moment of silence Jason knew what was coming. Knew they were losing him, refused to acknowledge it but knew in his heart.

"It, it wa,was a pl,plea,pleasure, ser,serving, wi,with y,you." Jason shook his head, "No. Do no give up on your team. You're leaving your brothers. You cannot leave your brothers." Jason stared with as much intensity as he could. Something changed in Sonny's eyes. He nodded. Jason nodded back. No, he wouldn't give up, not ever would he give up on his brothers. Sonny's eyes slipped closed and Jason prayed to anyone or anything that would listen to have them open again. Trent suddenly shouted, "CLAY GIVE ME YOUR EXTRA EPINEPHRINE." Clay carried some of his own extra medical supplies because of his ability to throw reactions to just about every damned thing on planet earth. Trent had forgotten he had enough dose of Epinephrine that he had been wanting to administer. He forgot that Clay carried his own. Ray reached in the pouch of Clay's bag and pulled out the syringe. Trent snapped it out of his hand and injected it into his good thigh. The one that wasn't bleeding out. Trent's hope was that the extra epi would help continue to shock his system. Keep it going with just a little extra fight for just a little longer.

"HOLD ON DAMN IT QUINN." Sonny nodded again, faintly but slightly better than a few moments before. "That should, that should he,help." Trent seemed energized by his thought.

"EXFIL is here!" Brock announced and with that they were on the move. They were all shouting at Sonny, "stay with us. Please." Begging him like a mantra, a prayer to anyone and anything that could stop this tragedy. Jason was surprised to see Eric himself hopping off the back of the exfil truck and rushing to help get the gurney in.

"Let's move guys, come on." There was no time for questions, at least not right now. They truck tore out of the mine shaft area and back into the city.

"How long till we're at the helo?" Trent asked as he watched Clay reposition his hand on the artery. The bleeding had slowed but was definitely still there.

"5 Mics." Eric responded as he gave a water bottle to Brock and Kairos who were now arranging tactical gear and trying to be helpful without getting in the way, knowing that at this point Trent didn't need any more hands.

"Trent you will ride in the medical chopper, the rest of the team will be right behind you they'll meet you at the base." Eric was standing, ready to help however he could, "Clay can't let go of this artery until we have control of the bleeding he has to come. He, he has to, to come." Trent was repeating himself, "He has to come. Sonny, hey, hey, stay with us." Jason looked up at Blackburn who seemed to be realizing how badly they all were doing physically. Trent mumbled on about the need for Clay.

"Ok Trent. Whatever you need." It was true. Whatever they needed Eric would be fighting tooth and nail for it.

The truck came to a stop and once again the whole team, plus Eric and the support EXFIL team came pouring out and began to move Sonny, Clay still holding on. Sonny and Clay were on the chopper when Jason grabbed Trent's arm.

"As soon as he goes into surgery you are getting looked at. Whatever happens you know you did your best. You did him right." Trent stared at his boss blankly. "Go, he needs you." Jason then pushed him towards the chopper. It was all Trent needed to be put back into the mindset of saving Sonny. It was not yet time to sit and think about the day. It was far from over. He could not yet let himself stop thinking about medicine or tactical strategies. Not yet. The second he started to think about anything besides keeping Sonny alive he knew he would be falling apart.

Clay felt useless as Trent spoke with the other doctors in a language, he practically didn't understand. They all moved around him in perfect synchronization while he felt like he was in the way, despite the fact that he was essentially holding all of Sonny's remaining blood in his leg. As the chopper touched down to the base hospital they were flooded by surgeons and doctors and nurses. Trent was throwing medical terms around again as Clay waited for instructions.

They moved Sonny to a different gurney, leaving him lying on the tarp gurney still but now on top of a rolling gurney. Clay held on.

They tried talking to Sonny. He was barely responding, then sometimes not at all.  
Trent told them about his other laceration.

They stripped him of his remaining clothes, leaving him in his boxers.

They pour disinfectant sprays and Betadine all over his stomach laceration.

Clay watched in horror as Sonny's eyes opened then, tears rolling out of the corners of his eyes as the wounds burned.

He listened as nurses called for ORs to be prepared

Tried to not stare as they examined the laceration on Sonny's chest and cut around the stitches to reopen it.

Clay wasn't surprised as the nurses began giving Sonny more and more drugs.

He stared blankly at the surgeon as they told him to remove his hand, to let go.

He closed his fingers around the artery harder.

It wasn't until Trent came in front of his eyes, holding his shoulder that he was convinced he could let go.

"Clay, it's time. He needs to go to surgery. Let go." All Clay could think about was the million times in the mine shaft, and in the truck, and again in the chopper that Trent would say, for no reason at all, "do not let go of that artery." As if Clay didn't realize the impact. As if Clay didn't want to let go. To run away. To stop feeling his pulse in his fist fade fast. He would never though. He knew what he was responsible for. Sonny saved his life and now Clay was able to at least give him a chance at survival.

"Captain Spencer, you need to let go. You can let go now. You did good. Let go. If they're going to save his leg, save his life. You need to let go. Now." Clay blinked at Trent before forcing his fingers to unwrap themselves from the artery. His hand shook and cramped now that it was free. He didn't care about the blood as he wiped his hands over his face, trying to dry the tears as he stared at the blood that covered the floor, outlining the empty space where Sonny's gurney had been just moments ago. He felt Trent's hand pushing him back into the waiting room area. He didn't know how long they had been in the hospital even. It felt like hours, but it also felt like minutes. He could feel the tears rolling down the side of his face, cutting through the dried blood like a knife. His head pounding now.

As he exited the trauma room the whole team was standing there. Under the florescent lights of the hospital they looked even worse. Clay didn't say a word as he walked past them. They stared, blood on his chest, blood all over his face, his legs, his hair. Sonny's blood from holding on to him for hours mixed with his own. Covered by the dust and debris of a country being torn apart by senseless terror. Trent came out next, he looked even worse. Jason watched as Clay walked past them, without acknowledgement and disappeared into the bathroom. Jason decided to give him a moment. He turned his attention next to Trent. Brock stepped up beside him as the color seemed to have drained from his face. Brock turned to me, giving me the look of question, "Is he ok?" We all knew the answer was no. Brock began to ask Trent himself if he was indeed ok but Trent started talking.

"He, uh, he's, surgery." That was all he got out before he collapsed down to the floor. Brock was able to slow his fall slightly, but he still crumpled to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"Shit." Ray exclaimed as they went to his side, "Help, we need help over here!" Eric was at Trent's head. Nurses gathered around and doctors were paged. It was only then, through the tactical gear and the dirt and the debris and the mix of everyone's blood on Trent's uniform did Brock realize he was holding his side. Brock knelt down beside him and unclipped his tactical vest, eliciting a hiss from Trent as he did so. There, imbedded in his side was two large pieces of shrapnel. Both of which seemingly had been bleeding for the whole day. Slowly wearing him down with the rest of his injuries.

"Son of a bitch!" Jason stood with anger at the whole situation. Ray was there trying to calm him but knowing there was nothing he could do to help even in the slightest. Now that Sonny was in good hands. Capable hands. Out of danger and in the protection of the base they could all start to realize the events of the day. Start to cope. That may just start with pulling each other off the ground, getting some food, and a CAT scan.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So I tried to get this chapter up as fast as I could but I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with this chapter and where I wanted it to go so it will probably take me a couple days. Not to mention I have several exams this week. Anyway, I hope you all continue to enjoy this story.

Jason's head pounded as the doctors spoke quickly. Eric, the only one with a clear head still, had taken over command of the room. Jason usually would have been trying to order the guys to take care of themselves, to get an update on Sonny, to make sure they had teams on the ground still trying to get the guys who did this to them. To Sonny. Right now, though everything was moving too fast to keep up. Trent's eyes groggily opened, and it was Brock who was there to calm him.

"Hey bud, just stay still. It's time for someone else to take care of you for once." Trent attempted to sit up, but Eric kept his hands firmly on his shoulders, keeping him down.

"Stay down. Let the doctors get you fixed up. You've been slowly bleeding all day." Eric's voice was soft as he spoke to him. It reminded Jason of a time during their first operation with Eric as their Lieutenant Commander. Jason had broken a rib in the middle of the op but kept that information to himself until he got on the plane and practically collapsed during the team debrief. It was Eric who had been by his side. He used the same hushed voice and where there probably should've been anger and malice in his voice there was nothing but kindness. He wanted him healthy before he would chastise him for not telling Trent about an injury. Trent was obviously confused. "S,Sonny? How? Is he? Where?" Trent could seem to settle on one question to ask. Jason stepped forward then, realizing that he was the team leader. He didn't get to just call it a day. Despite the pounding in his head, despite the fact that he could practically feel the adrenaline draining from him, taking every last ounce of energy with it.

"BRAVO 5 you did good. Now it's time to stand down." Trent kept at is though, tried to sit up again. "No, no, C,clay, and, and Ray's arm, Brock he,he needs stitches, or, or a, a, chest x-ray. Fluids. You, ne,need fluids." Jason shook his head and leaned in close as he grabbed Trent's hand in his.

"Trent, everyone is fine. You got all us back to base. You're good. You gotta get help yourself now. Alright? I promise you we will all go get checked out. We will drink fluids. We will eat. I promise you. Let the doctors take you. For Sonny's sake, you go get yourself fixed up."

Eric couldn't hear the words Jason was whispering but he could practically see the tension relaxing away from Trent's body. Jason then nodded to the nurse who injected his arm with an IV of fluids and sedatives. Jason didn't let go of Trent's hand as he continued to mumble about the guys and checking on Sonny. Jason didn't get frustrated with the repetition, he only continued to assure him that they were all taken care of. Finally, Trent succumbed to the sedative and pain meds and his hand slipped out of Jason's. The doctor who had been patiently waiting to get to actually examine his patient stepped forward as the nurses began to wheel him into an exam room.

"He most likely lost consciousness due to his adrenaline finally crashing. His shrapnel wounds don't look too serious. He'll need rest and some time but as of right now I have no reason to think he won't make a full recovery." Eric shook his hand before the army doc turned to go work on Trent. He then turned to the rest of the team.

"Mandy and Lisa are on their way. They were ordering the last air strikes on the area before coming this way. We believe we have located the members of the group who attacked. I know it's probably not the justice you're all looking for but there are no remains of the compound they were operating out of. For now, I want everyone to be seen by a doctor. That is a direct order. We won't hear about Sonny for several hours so it's time to stop and get some help. Ray, get that wrist looked at. Brock, you look like you're about to collapse so please, for the love of God sit the hell down." Brock didn't have to be told twice as he sank down against the cool wall and down to the ground, not bothering to find a chair. The ground would be good enough for the time being.

"Kairos, you need to at least have your ears checked for damage. Jason you too. You're all at least a bit bruised." Eric paused, emotion catching him by surprise. "I know you all, you all have had a long couple of months. This, this couldn't have been easy. I just, I want you to know that was a, a hell of a job. You all are, are top soldiers. I'm proud to call you my team."

Ray used his good hand to clap him on the shoulder. Eric then turned to the nurses' station and quietly asked for some doctors to examine the team before turning to Jason.

"So, do you want to go find Clay or should I?" Jason immediately shook his head, "I got him. I'll go. Make sure the guys get what they need." Jason started to move when Eric grabbed his shoulder, spinning him back to face him. "Then you are getting looked at yourself Jason." He nodded at Eric. "I, I thought, I thought we were losing him. I, I really did Eric." Eric stayed silent for a beat before replying. "I did too Jason. I, I could hear him losing it the last few minutes. I could hear him fading. Your COMS were on." A tear welled in the side of Jason's eye. "I know they were."

Jason turned then and walked to the bathroom he had seen Clay disappear into nearly 15 minutes ago when he had first emerged, blood covered, from the trauma bay. Jason left Blackburn staring at the ceiling tiles, the light blinding him as he tried to keep the tears from falling. Jason left this COMS on for him. On purpose. He really did think he was saying goodbye. Knew that Sonny was saying his goodbyes to the whole team, support staff, everyone. Saying goodbye to Eric. Eric had to press on though, through the pain that was nothing compared to what the team had gone through the past 24 hours. He went back to shepherding the team to their appropriate doctors. After they had all been put into rooms and he could see them finally starting to relax he took a seat in the waiting room and began the waiting game.

Jason opened the door slowly to the bathroom. The sound of retching only increased his speed as he searched for the noise.

"Son of a bitch." He muttered as he spotted Clay, shaking over the toilet as he let up everything he had eaten in the past few days.

"Clay, I'm here man." Jason didn't miss the flinch as he put a hand on his back. He didn't know how to do this, how to be comforting. He did what he would for Emma or Mikey though and began to rub small circles on his back. He could feel the tremble through his gear. Jason realized then that he too still had all of his gear on. His tactical vest, his mags, his sidearm. It seemed like a 1000-pound weight after all of this. Jason wasn't sure how long it went on, but it lasted for several minutes before Clay leaned back against the wall, practically collapsing against Jason's side. He panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Clay talk to me. You good?" Jason leaned back against him slightly, trying to elicit some sort of verbal response.

"I- I can, I can't breathe." Clay's face had broken out in a sweat as he clutched at his chest. "I, I got, I need, this, the, vest, I need, I need it off." His voice croaked from the dust and debris and from yelling all damned day. Clay stumbled to his feet, attempting to get out of the now crowded bathroom stall, nearly tripping over Jason's feet in the process. Jason was behind him, helping him stay upright.

"Hey, hey, hey. Easy." Clay's eyes were wide, blood still all over him marking him of the events.

"I can't fucking breath!" Clay desperately pulled at his gear.

"Stop." His voice was calm. An anchor in the chaos that was puling at him from all directions. Jason grabbed at his arms. "Stop, slow breaths. You can do it Clay." Jason calmly continued to push Clay's groping hands out of the way as he unclipped Clay's vest and pulled it off the side of him. Clay grabbed at his chest, happier now that it was off. He was bent at the waist, clutching at his chest. Jason tossed the vest to the side as he pulled Clay back down to the ground, his knees happily collapsing. From their position on the ground, Clay gripping at his chest, Jason holding him as steady as he could. Jason murmured in his ear over and over, "Breathe, it's ok, it's over now. Breathe." Clay continued to gasp, "I, I can't, b,breathe. I, I thought we would, would lose him. Christ. I thought he, he died." Jason knew what this was. Had gone through it himself. "I, I co,could feel, his pulse in my hands. Just g,get,getting slow, slower and slower."

"Clay, you're having a panic attack. It's the shock and the adrenaline crash and the trauma. Try to take slow breaths. Listen to my heartbeat and try to match my breathing. You can do this. Breathe kid." Jason only continued to hold him as he struggled.

"There, there was, was, so, s,so much b,blood." Clay repeated it like a mantra and each time Jason would reply, "I know kid. You did so good. He's still fighting. Breathe. He's still fighting."

Clay tried desperately to follow Jason's instructions. Slow breaths. Listen to his breathing. He just couldn't get the image of Sonny writhing in pain out of his head. Even worse, the image of Sonny unmoving. He could practically still feel the faint pulse in the palm of his hand as he held the artery. With every horrible memory harassing his brain though Jason's voice would cut through the darkness, reminding him it was over, they were safe, Sonny was in good hands. Breathe.

After what seemed like only a few moments but what Jason knew to be more like 30 minutes, Clay sat up a bit. "I'm good now. I'm good. Sorry, I just" Jason cut him off, "It's no big deal Clay. It happens. It's happened to me before, I'm sure it will happen again. Keep breathing." Clay nodded as he continued to sit up more and more. Jason stood then and helped Spencer to his feet as well, holding his elbows until he was sure he wouldn't fall right back down. Clay then took himself in as he looked in the mirror. His eyes red rimmed and shiny, blood caked on his face, dirt and debris stuck to the side. Cuts littered his chin and neck. His pants and shirt covered in blood. He couldn't tear his eyes away from his own disastrous sight.

"Come on, let's get you to a doctor, get you cleaned up." Clay let Jason lead him back out of the bathroom, his legs moving without realizing it. Eric stood as they exited the bathroom, eyeing Clay. He came to Clay's other side.

"I, I think I, I have some bruised, r,ribs." Clay still struggled to breath even now that he was calmer. Eric nodded, "There's a doctor waiting for ya." Jason let Blackburn take him then and watched as he helped get him on a gurney. Let out a long breath as he could hear Eric from the hallway remind Clay, he saved Sonny's life.

Eric came back into the hallway to find Jason continuing to hold it together. He put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to a chair in the waiting room but he didn't want to sit. Was still too amped up, emotionally drained but physically ready to continue to fight.

"Jason, what happened out there? What did we not hear about." Eric pushed. Jason paused and for a moment Eric wondered if he needed more time before talking about it. He knew it couldn't wait but he hated feeling like he was forcing Jason into talking.

"The grenade went off, I came around, Brock was bleeding and Trent was putting Ray's wrist back in place. Then Clay he, he told us Sonny was down. I knew Clay was hurt too. It was, was obvious. Trent too. We, we uh moved to the shaft and realized that Trent would have to take the pipe out or Sonny would probably go into septic shock. We, we held him down as best we could, but we couldn't give him much morphine and, and he was sweating and trying not to move or scream but, but the pipe was on his artery, so he was, was bleeding everywhere. Bleeding out right on the ground. Trent he's, he's the best though so he managed to clamp it. We, we thought we were in the clear. But the clamp didn't hold while Trent was resting. I ordered him to rest and it almost killed Sonny."

Eric thought about cutting Jason off, forcing him to sit down, take a drink. Maybe he pushed too hard. Jason continued though, "Clay he grabbed pressure though and he ended up grabbing the bleeder too. He had to hold the pressure himself and basically clamp it off with his hand for hours. He was keeping him from bleeding out. But Sonny, he was going downhill and, and Adam he didn't get to say goodbye so when Sonny started I just, I just wanted him to be able to, to say what he needed. I, I got through to him though, I he was fighting still. Trent remembered Clay had extra Epinephrine and hit him with that to keep his body going still. It was the last, last effort. Then you came." Jason sat down then, sinking in the chair with a thump. Eric handed him a water bottle then and watched as Jason's trembling hand brought the bottle up to his mouth and began to guzzle it down. Blackburn silently reached up and gently pushed it away from Jason's mouth, "Small sips." Jason frowned at the reminder.

"How did you manage to get approved to come with the EXFIL truck?" Jason thought back to his surprise he felt as he saw Eric hopping out of the back of the truck and running towards them.

"Well, I didn't completely get approval before I made the call. I just, I couldn't leave you guys out there alone anymore and I just, I wasn't sure we would make in time for Sonny. I just, I couldn't have you all be alone with a random support team if that happened." Eric put a hand on Jason's back as he hung his head and tried to relax his muscles.

"Come on, you need to be checked out just the like rest of the team." Surprisingly Jason nodded and with a huff of slight discomfort he walked to the exam room that was waiting for him. Eric paced back and forth as he waited for news on any one of his guys. He knew they were all with doctors, all in good hands, out of harm but he couldn't keep his heart from pounding in his chest. He heard the automatic doors swoosh open and turned to meet the head of trauma.

"Doc, do you have an update? On any of them? Anything?" Eric was desperate. The doctor nodded and motioned for him to sit.

"Well, let me start with the less serious of injuries. Sergeant Perry has a small fracture alongside his dislocation in his wrist. We had to reset is slightly again, but your field medic's initial reset of the wrist was almost perfect. We expect to keep him in the cast for 4 weeks, but he'll make a full recovery and it's his non-dominate hand so that also will help."

"That's great to hear. When can he be released? I'm sure he's anxious to get back out and be with the rest of the team." The doctor smiled and nodded, "yes, they all are very anxious. Can't stop asking about each other. He'll be released in just a few minutes actually. We're asking that he continue to rest and keep a watchful eye on him. All of them actually." Eric nodded.

"Your bomb expert, Kairos? He has just some minor lacerations that are being stitched up and is getting some fluids through an IV but as soon as his IV is up he'll be free to go as well. Brock has a rather severe concussion and had a major head laceration that required stitching. He also had a bruised collar bone from his initial impact. We don't expect any major issues, but we would like to keep him a few extra hours for observation and possibly overnight. He's already arguing with us, but I was hoping you could talk some sense into him." Eric let out a small chuckle. "These guys are petty thick skulled, but I can try."

The doctor continued, "Your field medic Trent, his injuries were slightly more extensive." He flipped to a different page on his chart, "He also is concussed with bruising on his ribs and chest. Some superficial lacerations, but of course our main concern was infection and debriding the shrapnel wound he had on his side. We sedated him to get him to rest, he was rather combative for a while. We removed the shrapnel and have him all stitched him up, but we would like to keep him sedated for a few more hours and keep him overnight. We think it'd be best to wake him when has some familiar face around." Eric didn't like the sound of that.

"Is the infection under control?"

"For now, it is but he is spiking a slight fever. We're monitoring it and we're giving him all the antibiotics we can. We expect a full recovery but it's crucial he rests right now." For now, Eric let it rest. "What about Hayes and Quinn and Spencer?" Eric knew the doctor was putting off Sonny's condition.

"Well, Lieutenant Hayes is still being examined but besides some stitches and a nasty bruise on his back that we want to check up on every couple days to make sure it doesn't turn into internal bleeding he's alright. We're going to release him as soon as he gets more fluids in him. He's not the easiest patient."

Eric couldn't take it anymore. "What about Sonny? Is he alive. Tell me he's alive." The doctor was quick to respond, "yes, he's alive. He certainly was leaving us for a moment, but we managed to keep him with us. He lost a lot of blood. A lot. The clamp from your soldier saved his life. If he would have lost much more, he would not have been around. We had to do a transfusion and of course infection is a major cause of concern right now. He's still in surgery. They're finishing up repairing his artery. For now, we believe we have it under control, but the next 24 hours are critical. We are admitting him. We'll be heavily sedating him to keep him resting once he comes out of surgery. With repair to the artery and with physical therapy he should make a full recovery. He also had the laceration on his stomach that we re-stitched after cleaning out the wound a second time. He's fighting now. He just needs to continue to fight. Your men can sit with him once he's out of surgery and into a room." Eric thanked God silently as he began to feel hopeful for his guys.

"Finally, Spencer will also make a full recovery. He has a bad concussion and was extremely dehydrated. We noticed his medical chart was marked with various warnings about reaction to different medications, so we took extra care for that. He has a few cracked ribs and the bruising from his injury a few weeks ago. I understand he took a shot to the chest with his body armor. It is most likely going to be very sore again but he should be fine with some rest. They all need rest. Rest, food, and water." Eric leaned back in the chair and let out a large breath.

"I know it's a lot to keep track of and to process but with time they'll be alright."

He heard two familiar voices begging the nurse's station for updates, Mandy and Lisa.

"Mandy, Davis, over here." They both whipped around and rushed over to Eric.

"What have you heard? Are they ok? Is Sonny? Did he, did he make it?" Lisa managed to push the question out into the air and let it hang. She only started breathing again when Eric nodded his head yes.

"I'll leave you three to talk. I'll send the guys out here when they are discharge and will have nurses come get you when they have more updates." Eric shook his hand and thanked him before he left. Eric caught the girls up on all that had happened from Trent collapsing to what he found out. He left out a few of the parts he knew they shouldn't know. It would only make them worry more. At the end of the rolling story Eric asked the question that had been hangin in the air.

"Do we have confirmation that the air strike hit?" Mandy nodded immediately. "We left to come to the hospital as soon as we got it." Eric nodded. He knew it wouldn't fix anything and he knew the particular son of a bitch who tossed the grenade probably was still alive and not in the compound when they set off the airstrike, but he had to believe it at least decreased their numbers. At least hurt them a little bit as a cell.

"Hey, what's everyone looking so stressed for?" Ray's voice was light and happy. He sarcasm welcome in the stiffness of the day. He looked significantly better than when he had been brought in. He was cleaned up decently well but still had his uniform on from the day which was covered in dirt and debris. Davis and Mandy both hugged him and Kairos who had also emerged from the back areas of the hospital.

"We're glad to hear you both are ok." Mandy said as she pulled away from Ray. He and Kairos both sat down. Davis spoke up, "I have someone bringing you all a change of clothes. They should be here soon." Ray smiled at her, "You're the best Davis."

"Jason should be out soon, and Brock." Kairos spoke up for the first time since he had come out from his exam.

"I thought Brock was supposed to be admitted for a few hours for observation?" Mandy asked quietly. Eric shook his head. "I'll go talk to the doctor." He stood up and stretched, "And to Brock. You guys should get something to eat." Ray shook his head, "I'm not that hungry. I'll wait until we get another update about Sonny." Eric turned back to him, "That wasn't an order Perry. Eat." Eric disappeared down the corridor. Mandy stood up, "You guys stay here and wait for news. I'll go to the cafeteria and get us all food and coffee. It's been a long day." Before she left though she motioned at Ray to come talk to her.

"How's Jason? I mean I know he's still grieving for Alana and he feels responsible for Adam. Is he holding up?" Ray placed his hands on his hips, stiffly moving his left arm that was in a cast.

"I mean he's not doing great. He thought he was going to lose Sonny. Hell, we all did. Jason though he was hanging on though. He's be ok so far. I think he just needs to process it all." Mandy nodded. She knew what Ray meant. He was in that position of having to continue on for the sake of the mission. He couldn't stop and think yet. Couldn't stop and feel. None of them could. It was a crucial part of their training that ingrained in them like instincts at this point.

"And Clay? Is he doing alright?" Ray shook his head at that one. "He's alright now but he lost it a bit earlier. He just, he needs to cope and grieve. He was holding Sonny's artery in his damned hand. Felt him slipping away. It would have screwed with any of us. He just needed to lose it for a second but he's good now. He's, he's good." With that Mandy was satisfied. She resumed her hunt for food.

Eric asked the nurse to take him to Brock's room. Normally he would leave the guys to be examined by themselves but if Brock was being an idiot he'd have no problem stepping in. As he approached the room, he could hear Brock yelling.

"Look, I'm fine ok? There are other people on the team that need a hell of a lot more help than me! Please just discharge me. I'll still be in the hospital. I'm certainly not going anywhere anytime soon! I just can't sit in a damned bed!" The doctor started to respond but stopped when he spotted Eric lingering the in the doorway. Eric took in how he looked now that he had been cleaned up. He too still had the pants of his old uniform on. His shirt had been ditched. His head laceration looked painful and angry but now that it was stitched up and now bleeding continuously down the side of his face, Eric had to admit he felt a hell of a lot better. He could see the bruising on his collar bone, black and blue and painful looking. His right arm was in a sling. He looked exhausted and his chest had small cuts all over it from debris. He looked better though. Not great, but better.

"Good, you're here. Maybe you can talk to him. He wants to be discharged and leave. He has a bruised collar bone which is why we've put him in a sling and a major concussion. He needs observation and rest." Brock sat up and began pulling at his IV, "I'm fine." The doctor moved forward, "Stop that!" Brock only pulled away more though. Eric finally intervened.

"Woah, alright slow down." The doctor stopped his advancements and Brock stopped his dumb pulling. "Could I have a minute with him?" The doctor nodded, "I'm going to go discharge Lieutenant Hayes. He also is very upset." Eric chuckled for the poor doctor who was simply trying to do his job. "You can send him to me."

Eric turned back to Brock who had now swung his legs over the edge of the bed and was making a move to stand up. He hissed with the pain in his head at the movement and just about tipped forward if Eric hadn't been close by. He gently grabbed at his chest, careful to miss his collar bone.

"Easy Brock. Just wait a sec. Sit back." With a huff of distaste Brock did as he was told. "They just want to keep you for one night."

"They haven't even given me an update on Sonny or Trent or Christ not even Clay!" Brock was getting angry again. He tried to sit up when he stopped suddenly.

"Shit I'm gonna, sick. I'm gonna be, be sick." Eric quickly grabbed the basin that was sitting next to his bed. He knew nausea and vomiting was common side effects of concussion so he wasn't surprised. Still, he felt for the young man as he clutched the bowl and retched up the water, he had been filling his body with. There wasn't much to come up but that only seemed to make it more painful. Eventually, when it had calmed down a little Brock managed to get out, "You should, g,go." Eric only stepped closer and offered him a cup of water. "I didn't leave you guys in the mine shaft and I'm sure as hell not leaving now." Brock took the water and accepted small sips before leaning back in his bed and trying to get his ragged breathing back under control. "How, how is everyone?"

"Sonny is still in surgery and Trent is sedated until tomorrow morning, so he can rest. Clay is still being looked at but they think he'll be just fine. There's your update." The seemed to calm Brock at least a little bit. "How's Clay doing? I heard he kind of lost it." He eyed the tiles on the floor, "Jason got him. He's good now." Brock nodded and leaned back further into the bed.

"I can't just lay here and do-nothing, sir." Eric knew how he felt. He knew how it was to have your team needing you and be laid up in a bed, disconnected form everyone else.

"If I agree to have you discharged you will still be checking in with the doctors every few hours and you will be resting. I'm not joking around here. You can go and sit with the rest of the team, but I will not hesitate to re-admit you if you start to go downhill. If you start getting nauseous again, you're getting looked at and readmitted." Brock let the smile ease across his face. The doctor came back in with Jason in tow. Brock noticed the slight limp to his step but all in all he looked alright.

"You good Brock? You getting out of here?" Jason asked as he stepped into the examine room.

"Yeah man, sure as hell am." Brock took the hand Eric offered and took a moment to let the head rush go away as he stood on slightly shaky legs. He shivered with his exposed torso, standing in only his tactical pants from the mission.

"I heard Davis got the clothes from our barracks. Lets go get the hell out of these clothes." Jason took Brock's elbow then and lead him out of the room. The doctor shook his head at Eric.

"This is a dangerous game Commander. I understand but," Eric cut him off. "Trust me, he will be well looked after. Do you have anymore updates?" The doctor smiled at him.

"I do actually. Trent has been moved to a room and is resting now with sedation. Clay is awake and we'll allow your men to visit him once they get changed. I'll have a nurse come get you." That sparked Eric's interest.

"That's great. Thank you so much. Any update on Quinn?" He practically held his breath. "He's still fighting. Last I checked they were closing up from surgery." Eric hung his head with tension, "I understand the need for optimism but from what I've heard this unit has been through a lot the last few months. They should be cautious with their optimism. He lost a lot of blood. He's weak and fighting and infection. He's not out of the woods yet. I'm happy to say this to your unit myself or if you would like to you can but they need to know the next 48 hours could be extremely rocky." Eric nodded along with his words.

"They're the strongest men I know. I'll talk to them. They do need to know. Hope is all they have though. They're tough as hell and can handle just about anything they're thrown but the reason they're able to do that is their training and their hope. They have complete faith in each other that they will all make it out each mission." This time is was the doctor who nodded, "I never said hope was a bad thing. You know your men. I'll check on when Spencer can have visitors." Eric thanked the doctor before returning to the waiting room.

Ray and Jason were talking in the corner, they both had redressed into the clean uniforms Mandy and Davis had delivered. Those women were so vital to the team. He looked to Kairos and Brock who were also talking. Brock was sitting which eased the pit in Eric's stomach slightly. The guy needed rest that was for damn sure.

Davis spotted Eric and came to her feet, leaving her position with Mandy.

"Blackburn? Is there an update on Sonny? We uh, we haven't heard anything new yet." Eric sighed and motioned for her to sit. "Everyone, come over here I do have updates." Mandy nervously bit her lip, the same way she did during the tough spots in operations.

"Sonny is almost out of surgery. The doctor would like me to remind everyone though that is he is not out of the woods. By a long shot. He's fighting a serious infection and they worry that the infection is already in his blood stream too much. He's very weak right now from blood loss but we all know he's a fighter. That's the most important. The doctors are doing everything they can." Eric looked up at Jason first and could practically feel the anger coming off him. Ray noticed too though and nodded at Eric. He had him under control. Eric pressed on, "Trent is still sedated and from what I understand will be sedated until tomorrow morning. The doctors are moving Clay to a room for the night. We'll get to visit him soon." Mandy shook her head in worry. "For now, we need to continue to take care of ourselves. Continue to drink water. Eat. Don't have too much coffee. They need you at your best." Eric glanced up just in time to see Jason angrily, yet half-heartedly, slam his hand against the wall. He wasn't sure if he was just too tired or in too much pain to really take his anger out but Ray simply pulled him away, down the corridor for what Eric could only assume was a walk to clear his thoughts. Ray knew Jason better than anyone. He would be alright.

Several minutes went by before a nurse approached Eric. Jason had just returned and Eric had just been able to relax again as he saw Jason was considerably calmer than when he had stormed off just a few minutes earlier.

"Would you like to see Spencer? He's been asking for his team. Doesn't quite believe us when we say you're all alive and well." The nurse smiled as she spoke. "I can take you to his room. Um, it's just that the uh doctor wants me to remind you he needs rest. He'll be discharged in the morning." Ray smiled at her, "Of course. We'll be sure to let him rest."

Jason hesitated outside Clay's room, not entirely sure he could force his feet to move. The kid needed him. He needed to see he was ok himself. He just wasn't sure he could return Clay back to Stella less than 100% yet again. He knew how much she worried, knew how much they loved each other. With Alana gone now he valued their love even more. Ray came up beside him, the others were coming up in a few minutes. "So, are you going to actually go see the kid or spend the night in the hallway?" Jason huffed, "I just can't keep seeing everyone get hurt. Keep losing people. Or almost losing people." Ray nodded in the way he always did that made him seem wise beyond his years. "Jace, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this."

"I know that Ray. I do. I just, the kid, you didn't see him earlier. He was, he's been through hell. His rookie year and he's seen shit most guys don't see in 5 years."

"It's because he's on the top team. You know that. He's the best of the best so he rolls with the best of the best. He's not with us because he's mentally fit, or a good shot, or good with tactical analysis. He's with us because he has the mental fitness. He can handle it or he would have broken a long time ago." Jason pushed away from the wall then and sauntered inside, his face showing off the slightest of smiles as he eyes the kid, hospital gown, IV, and stitches.

"Hey kid."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: So, I'm not sure how I feel about this week's episode. I really like the mission they're on and being in Mexico for probably several episodes, but I worry about Mikey and Emma back home. I think it's super interesting to see Mandy and Jason fight a little though. She's holding him accountable! Also, really hope Stella and Clay stay together! That will not be brought into this story! They will still be together. For the sake of the story Trent's is married to a girl named Sarah and Brock is dating a girl name Jessie. I'm not sure what or if they have actual significant others in the show. I looked online and found nothing. Sigh. Hopefully, I can get this chapter up pretty quick. My schedule is less busy right now so I'm trying to get these next couple chapters up quick. :) Enjoy! Let me know what ya'll think too!

"Hey kid." Jason knew it was an over simplified way to enter the room but what the hell else would he say? 'Hey kid, I know you totally broke down earlier but I'm super proud of you for holding it together while you were keeping your teammate alive!' No definitely not that. Clay's eyes were glazed over but he looked at least slightly aware.

"He,eey." He slurred the word out with a smile as Jason came closer to the bed. "How's Son? Is he out yet? Trent? Are they good?" Clay stirred in his bed as he started asking more questions, clearly getting irritated. "Take it easy. Sonny's almost out of surgery, but Trent's good. He's sedated so his body can rest but he's going to be all good." Clay nodded and settled back into the bed. "Where's everyone?" Jason smiled, "Oh trust me, they're on their way up. Ray's just getting some water for us. Wanted me to see how you were doing first." Clay took a shaky breath in. "Water. Yeah." His eyes slipped closed for a moment before reopening and eyeing the cup of water on the bedside table. Jason's mention of it brought his attention to the dryness in this throat. The scratch that wouldn't go away.

"You want some?" Jason reached for the cup before he could get and answer and directed the straw to Clay's mouth. Clay struggled at first, the water mostly sliding down his chest instead of down his throat. It was an internal struggle between wanting to help the kid and wanting to save him the embarrassment of his boss practically having to shove the straw in his mouth. Jason waited though until finally he seemed to figure it out again. His drug riddled mind was slow. The room erupted as Ray, Blackburn, Mandy, Davis, and Kairos all came in. Clay gave the best smile he could as they all spoke to him, asking him how he was doing and what he needed. Telling him they were so happy to see him. Clay did his best to keep up with the conversation, but it was exhausting.

"How are you feeling?" Ray was almost afraid to ask. "Headache and my, uh, chest but other than that really damn good." That got a chuckle out of everyone. "Yeah, they uh, have you on the good medication." Eric laughed as Clay stifled a laugh, then a wince.

"How's the patient?" The doctor's voice cut through the crowd as he stepped forward. Clay cleared his throat as best he could. "Heyyy doc. Doing good." He nodded and wrote a few of his stats down on his chart before coming to listen to Clay's lungs.

"Well, I have good news for you all. Quinn is out of surgery. He is in recovery and settled in a room. We will allow him to have visitors in the afternoon tomorrow. For now, we want him resting so we've sedated him. Tomorrow afternoon we'll start to lift the sedation slowly, it'll be up to his body then to work to come back. He's strong and young. We can give you a more accurate idea of if he's out of the woods after the first 24 hours of him regaining consciousness. Warranting he regains consciousness. His body needs to fight the infection." Davis let out the smallest of gasps from her spot on the left side of Clay's bed. Her eyes were yet to spill tears, but everyone knew she and Sonny were close, arguably had been growing closer, so this certainly wasn't easy on her.

"We really can't visit him until the afternoon?" It was Brock this time, "What about Trent? When can we visit him? Hell, he passed out right in front of us!" Eric eyed him, ready to force him to sit down if he kept this up. He still looked shaky and Eric knew better than to believe him when he said he felt fine. He felt like he was herding a bunch of kids around today.

"It's best for his recovery right now. Besides you need rest yourselves. There will be nurses and doctors in his room constantly right now and it's a very volatile time for his recovery. It's best he saves some of his dignity." No one had the stomach to ask any more about what that could mean. "As for Trent, we're lifting his sedation in the morning. We'd like you guys with him when he starts to come around. He was confused and disoriented when he was brought in and obviously very concerned about all of you, so we think it'd be beneficial to have you guys there for him. I've put a note to have the nurse come get you in the morning when you can see him." Jason sighed, "Thank you. For everything. Really, you've been great." Jason shook his hand along with Jason and Eric. Eric sensed Jason regaining his composure from the events of the day. He was falling back into his position as leader.

The team filled the room with meaningless conversation for a few minutes before finally Clay asked, "Did the airstrike hit?" Clay seemed suddenly clearer minded as he sat up in bed with a wince. His eyes were shifting between Eric, Davis, and Mandy. They all nodded. That seemed to be all Clay needed to hear as he relaxed into the bed again. Jason had sat down next to Clay's bed, his feet up on the side, not close enough to snag an IV or bump his bruises but close enough he could be there in an instant. Close enough to feel he was not going anywhere. Ray had taken his spot in the corner, a small armchair that seemed comfortable enough was calling his name. Brock and Eric were sitting in the two chairs next to the door that they had drug in from the waiting room. They both had stretched their legs out, letting the day wash over them. Mandy and Kairos went to go begin paper work. Kairos agreed to give his report about the day first, while it was still fresh. Jason admired the new man on the team. He was injecting himself into the team well. He wasn't being invasive but was also making sure to mesh with the rest of the guys. Plus, he was damn good at his job.

It felt good to be laughing with everyone. Telling stories that made no sense but left everyone with their bellies aching. They were reminiscing on all the cases of beer they had made Clay purchase throughout his first year with the team. It was Eric who broke up the moment as the laughter quieted down. Jason was swinging his eyes between Clay, who looked exhausted from being up and talking, to Eric who was eyeing Brock. Jason took his opportunity to speak, "Alright, maybe we should start to call it a night. Get some rest. Brock, sounds like you need to go get your head rechecked before then." Brock glared at Jason but nodded. His anger more at the situation then at Jason himself. Eric took the cue to go with him, leaving Ray, Jason and Clay. Ray stood then, "I'm going to go call Naima and the other family members, let them know the media probably has the whole attack wrong and that we're safe."

Finally, Jason and Clay were alone. Jason stood and stretched as he finished the rest of his cup of water. He had traded water for coffee a few hours ago, deciding once the caffeine that had been fueling him for the past 36 hours wore off, he would try to get some rest. He wasn't there yet. It was nearly 10 PM, they had been up for over 24 hours. It wasn't uncommon for them to operate in the early morning, flying during the day and staying up through the night to plan and prepare. They were used to long days of 24 hours awake but when you throw in the injuries and adrenaline crashes, 24 starts to feel a hell of a lot longer. The operation had started at roughly 4:30 in the morning with them finally getting extraction around 9:00 am. Before that they had been up most of the night and the day before, preparing. Even still, Jason wasn't ready to crash for the night. As he looked at Clay though, his eyes sliding closed every few minutes with his blonde hair matted down on his forehead, he realized he was fighting sleep.

"Spencer, you should get some rest." It was his nice way of asking him to just go the hell to bed. "Nah, I'm good. I'm fine." Jason didn't buy it.

"Listen, if you wanna get out of here tomorrow in time to go be with Trent and Sonny when they wake up you gotta get some rest, so you don't look so horrible tomorrow morning." Clay smiled at that as he closed his eyes. It's harder than you would think to simply stop replaying everything through your head over and over. Every decision, every action. Hoping that it would all turn out alright. Praying that Sonny would wake up with full mobility. At least with therapy. Clay couldn't get it to stop.

"It's just, I'm just having a hard time relaxing. Thinking about Sonny." Clay's eyes opened, searching Jason's face. Hayes stared back, not sure where to go with this. It was strange having Clay so open and vulnerable. He knew it was just the exhaustion, trauma, and medication. Even still, he was so out of his realm. He was once again out of his element with the kid.

"Yeah, I know kid. You gotta try though. I can assure you the drugs will help with that. The nurses will be in soon for your checks anyway. Just close your eyes. I'm sure as hell not going anywhere so just shut your eyes. Breathe. I'm here." Jason caught the small nod out of Clay as he shut his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was actually successfully comforting or helping him or if Clay just didn't have it in him to fight it anymore. Jason dimmed the already dim lights even more. He reclaimed his spot next to Clay's bed and leaned back. This kid could very well could be the death of him. He had learned so much from him, from having to teach him, from having to lead him.

Ray found himself stuck in the doorway of Spencer's room. He had returned from making his various phone calls. He had mostly just told Naima what he was allowed to at this point. That wasn't very much, just that they were going to be stuck in the middle east longer than they expected and that a few members of the team were injured. He wasn't able to tell her the extent of the injuries or who exactly it was, but he hoped he dropped enough hints through his conversation. She would tell the others what she knew. Now, he found himself staring at Jason Hayes, leaned onto the side of Clay's bed, breathing deeply as Clay himself slept soundly. His monitors beeping in a regular cadence, his eyelids shut softly. He looked so young and yet so much older than he was. Ray stepped inside and moved to drape a blanket over Jason as he stirred awake.

"Hmm, hey Ray. You get ahold of Naima?" His voice was thick with sleep. "Yeah, she's got it under control over there. Said everyone's doing well. She'll pass along the message to our families." Ray offered him a water bottle which Jason took. "Good, that's good." Ray listened to Clay's breathing over the monitors.

"How's the kid?" Jason leaned back in the chair and stretched, "He's good. He's hangin in there. Nurse came by about an hour ago to do a vitals check. Said he's still on track for discharge in the morning. What about Trent and Sonny? Any update? Where is everyone?" Jason peered around the room, seeing only the belongings of various team members. A jacket here, a phone there.

"Trent's good. A nurse told me he's still the same, resting and sedated. Sonny's fever is climbing but uh, he's still sedated like they told us. So, I'm not sure what that means, I guess. Kairos and Mandy are sleeping at the barracks. There was no point in them staying. Eric got Brock to agree to sleep in an actual room so he's in the waiting area outside of it." Jason nodded as Clay stirred in his sleep, his hand coming to pull at his IV. "Easy Clay, leave it alone." Jason knew how damned annoying the IV's got after several hours and placed another piece of gauze with tape over the crook in his elbow, hoping to discourage his itching.

"Jason, you good? I know it's been hard-"Jason cut him off, "Ray, give it a rest. I can't even go there right now. I'm fine. We're all holding up just fine." There was no malice in his voice. No anger. If anything, there was exhaustion. Pure and unfixable exhaustion. It wasn't the kind that a long night's rest would fix, it was the kind that you felt after not just a couple hard weeks but a couple hard months. The exhaustion that seeps into your bones until just getting up in the morning is work itself. Jason knew where Ray's concern came from. It was all out of love, it always was and always would be. Ray knew how quickly Jason could go from being 'just fine' to being completely and utterly not fine. He also knew though that Jason would not admit anything less than being fine if he was pushed on the matter. He would come to Ray when and if he needed it. It was a constant battle Ray had. Does he push too hard and risk shutting Jason down or does he back off too much and Jason gets lost in the chaos of his own head? For now, Ray would settle with his answer.

"Let me know if that changes brother." He held out his fist and Jason smiled as he bumped it, "Thank you for today Ray."

"What about today?" Ray didn't feel like he did anything out of the ordinary.

"For running point. You were tactically ready and combat ready. I didn't have to give you orders because you were already doing it. I couldn't focus on keeping Sonny alive and making sure Trent was staying on his feet while also trying to set up an overwatch position and a front point defense. You just, you did it. You were what I needed you to be without me needed to ask. Thank you." It wasn't often that Jason spoke like that, really, truly thanked him. Most time it went unsaid, it was a universally known fact that Jason appreciated Ray and it was shown in other ways. Right now, though, it was just what Ray needed to hear. After all the ups and downs with Jason lately, the affirmation was touching.

"That's what your 2 man is for Jace. Try and get some rest." With that Ray silently slipped back into the chair in the corner, crossed his arms over his chest and let the beep of Clay's heart monitor lull him into sleep for the first time in almost 36 hours.

The earliest hints of the sun were coming in through the window when Clay came around. He felt a hell of a lot better than he had the night before. He certainly was a lot clearer in his head too. He glanced around and saw Jason in the chair next to his bed, just where he said he would be, and Ray in the corner. He also noticed Eric, just outside his room, phone pressed to his ear, pacing. A different nurse from the night before was next to him suddenly, "Good morning. It's good to see you looking better. Your vitals look great. How are you feeling?" She was just as nice as the night nurse.

"Better. A lot better actually." Clay forced a smile on his face. Jason roused at the sound of voices, "How's he doing?" The question was directed at the nurse, but Clay took it upon himself to answer with a, "Great. I feel good. Ready to get out of here." Jason huffed, "Let's hear what the actual doctor thinks." The nurse smiled at the two men, "The doctor will be in soon to talk about your discharge. Everything looks good though. I'll bring in your breakfast." Clay thanked her and sat up in bed, testing his pain from yesterday. Much better.

Mandy popped her head in the doorway as the nurse disappeared. "Hey, how you doing?" Her smile lit up the room as Clay sat up even more than before. "A little sore but doing a hell of a lot better than yesterday." Mandy smiled and nodded, "That's really good. You look good. Well, not great but you've never looked great." The joke elicited a small chuckle out of everyone, including Clay, who fought hard to cover the wince that followed.

Mandy locked eyes with Jason and nodded her head towards the hallway, indicating for him to step out. Jason stood, his knees angry from being scrunched up all night, and squeezed Clay's shoulder. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Brock, make him eat." Brock chuckled, "Well, of course." The light banter had completely changed from the mood from last night and the day before. They were all a bit more relaxed. Even still, there was a threat that hung over each of their heads. Sonny was still not awake and until he was, they all knew there were major risks.

"What's up?" Jason asked as she pulled him around the corner and into another corridor. He tucked his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt that Davis had gotten for him yesterday. Mandy looked at the ground a beat before looking back at Jason. "I'm just checking in. Making sure you're ok."

Jason turned, ready to walk away. He was sick of everyone acting like he couldn't handle himself. Like he wasn't just fine. "Jason, wait! You and I both know you're different. Hey!" She grabbed his shoulder and he spun around faster than Mandy thought, she stumbled back. Jason was angry, angry like he would get when people questioned his authority. Angry how he was when Clay disobeyed and did something stupid. Angry how he was when he found out about Ray's shoulder. Angry how he was when ALPHA team was killed. His whole body showed it.

"Ya know what Mandy? You're right. I'm not fine. I'm not sure which way is up, and which way is down most days. I'm realizing more and more with each time I'm home that I have no idea how to parent my own damned kids. I don't! Then I have to bury Adam in the ground, hold his wife as she cries, as my own daughter comforts his! That gutted me, it did, but I could handle all of that! I could move on from that!" Jason paused, his chest heaving as he yelled at her. Jason had grabbed onto her forearms, his voice cracking as tears welled in his cheeks, "I was doing ok Mandy! I was getting the kids under control! I was talking to Adam's wife and she was getting better. Then though, then a damn kid throws a grenade, and everything goes to hell! I had to watch my medic bleed out in front of me, know that I can't stop him from practically killing himself just to try to save Sonny. All the while, I have my rookie holding his life in his hands. What the hell is wrong with the world? What the hell is wrong with me? Everything I've been involved in lately has been horrible for everyone around me? Am I being punished? I mean-" Mandy had to stop him before he kept spiraling. "Jason, Jason, woah! Shhh. Breathe. Take a breath." Jason stopped speaking, his deep breathing filling the space between them.

"I wasn't trying to make things worse, I just wanted to check in." She had shaken off his arms and now had both her hands on his shoulders, grounding him. Or at least attempting to.

"I know. I just. It got to me for a minute. I'm good." Jason still had the look of pain in his eye that he always came back with after a hard mission.

"For the record Jason, you have nothing to be sorry for. You're not being punished, you're just going through a valley, but you've been through them before, you'll go through them again. I just wanted to let you know I'm here if you need me." It was all Mandy could think to say. It was apparently all she needed to say though. Jason closed the gap between them with two steps and enveloped her in his arms, tucking his head in her neck and just for a moment it didn't feel like everything was crashing around them. It didn't feel like Sonny could never wake up and Trent was lying in a hospital bed. It didn't feel like he had almost lost the whole team. It didn't feel like his children were motherless. Everything felt ok, or at least more ok than they actually were. He let it linger, let Mandy hug him back with everything she had. All the unsaid words she had. Then as quickly as it started, Jason pulled away and walked back to Clay's room, leaving Mandy to stand there and wonder how she got as lucky to have such an amazing team.

Jason entered Clay's room to see him up and moving, slower than normal but still moving. Brock was nearby, clearly ready to help him if and when he needed it. Clay was huffing that he was just fine and didn't need any help. The doctor explained to Jason that he was getting discharged. Jason grinned as he eyed the empty plate where Clay had finished his breakfast. He turned back to Clay though as he sucked in sharply with pain. He was getting discharged and wanted to get the hell out of his room. Jason didn't blame him in the slightest. However, that didn't mean he wanted the kid dropping on his ass trying to change into clothes. Brock handed him his bag that Davis had gotten dropped off yesterday and hovered outside the bathroom door. Jason turned to Brock, "Keep an eye on him, will you?" Brock simply nodded as if it was the most stupid question in the world. Of course, he would keep an eye on the kid. The doctor then ushered Jason outside where he spotted Eric, Davis, Mandy, Ray, and Kairos all seated in the small circle of chairs they had pushed together. They had seemingly overtaking the small sitting area on the floor.

"We have breakfast. You should eat Jason." Jason wasn't hungry in the slightest bit. He didn't think he'd get his appetite back until Trent and Sonny were awake. However, he sunk down into the seat and picked up a banana from the table, slowly chewing as he pictured Trent's face, covered in blood, collapsing to the floor of the emergency room. Clay and Brock were next to him suddenly and Mandy stood up, motioning for Clay to sit. He hesitated at first but with one glare from Jason, he took the seat. He looked tired and worn out, but he did look considerably better than when he was brought in yesterday, or hell, when he had himself wrapped around Jason struggling to breathe. Jason shuddered at the thought.

Lisa looked around the circle, her eyes threatening to spill over for the thousandth time in the past 48 hours. Listening to that operation happen was the hardest thing she'd done in her career. Harder than pushing through all the sexism that she knew, unintentional or not, existed in her field. Harder than the training, harder than when they lost Adam, harder than when she lost Danny. Harder than all of that was having to sit with her computer in front of her, trying to coordinate how to get the team EXFIL while she listened to Eric talk to Jason. While she listened to Eric curse under his breath, while she listened to Mandy pray when she thought no one was listening. She had to pretend she didn't notice when Eric turned the COMS so only he could hear, when he started relaying only that they were hanging in there. She knew it was all lies. She looked around the circle, praying that Sonny wake up, praying that she could just see him. Just get to see his eyes open one more time.

"Lisa? Hey?" Her eyes snapped to Mandy, who was staring at her with concern, they all were. "The doctor's here for an update." They all stood from there spots, ready for the worst, hoping for the best.

"Well, it was a long night for Sonny. His fever climbed rather high last night, slightly over 103 degrees. However, today it is down slightly. We believe the infection is not spreading anymore but we can't be sure. We're going to lift his sedation later today if his fever continues to come down. However, this doesn't mean he'll wake up. He could take hours, or days, to come around. His body is fighting though." The doctor paused.

"Can we sit with him? Please, even just for a little bit. Just see him?" Lisa wasn't one to beg but she was grasping at straws to try to at least see him. Eric squeezed her shoulder. He was well aware of the closeness between Sonny and Davis. He had watched it from afar for almost a year.

"It's not the best idea at the moment. When we start lifting his sedation, we will let you sit with him." Davis only nodded and shifted to the back of the group, trying to hide the desperation in her eyes. "Trent's sedation is going to be lifted soon. I'll allow three of you to sit with him, help him come out of the sedation. After he's awake we can allow the rest of you to see him." Jason instantly stepped forward.

"I need to be there." Certainly no one argued with that. Eric also wanted to be there. Everyone knew Eric was also taking it hard that the guys were having a tough year. It was Clay, who had sat back down in his chair, slightly fatigued from being up and about who spoke up last, "I want to be there too. I want to be there for him." Jason didn't even have the heart to argue at this point. The whole team obviously would want to sit by his bedside, stare at his closed eyes, urge him to wake up minute by minute. They all knew how good Trent was. It wasn't just because of his medical expertise but because of how he operated. He could make you feel like there was no way he was going to let you leave God's green Earth. That was the kind of medic you needed when the whole team is standing around, waiting for extract, hoping it gets there in time. You need someone who can operate under that kind of pressure, while still being a realist, all the while making everyone else think everything is just fine. You just have to keep going. That was Trent.

That was all Jason could think about as he paced back and forth the length of Trent's small room. Clay had long ago passed out in the chair that Jason had pulled in from the hallway. He had an arm slung across his chest, protecting his chest without even realizing it. His leg slung onto the chair that Jason had previously occupied until he couldn't take just staring at Trent's rising and falling chest. The rise and fall of Trent's chest made Jason think back to their Green Team training.

Jason and Trent actually went through it together. It was after a particular hard and long day of swim training that Jason was having a very hard time catching his breath. Trent was on his train team and had noticed he was off almost immediately. Trent pulled him from group and had insisted he be seen by a doctor. Jason was coughing so hard he felt like he would break a rib. None of the instructors had noticed how Jason was pale and shaking, not the way Trent did. Jason certainly would have pushed through, at least until he couldn't. Trent wouldn't let him though. It nearly saved his life. After he basically collapsed, Trent looked him over and ordered him to get chest x-rays. Those x-rays showed plain as day he had gotten water in his lung and was going to be drowning on dry land if he wasn't careful. It was after that day that Jason knew one day Trent would be his team medic. When Jason woke up from being in the base hospital it was Trent who was next to him. He didn't leave, not when Jason was heaving, not when he was arguing with doctors, not when he was cursing at Trent for pulling him from training when they were equals. Trent took it all. That was Trent. The moment Jason was promoted and got his own team he requested Trent. He remembered calling Trent up and retelling him the story.

He recalled telling him, "Listen, I never got to buy you a drink after that so how about we go get two drinks. One to repay you for saving my ass, and the second to celebrate."

"Celebrate what Jace?" Trent had asked.

"For you joining the best damned team there ever will be." He paused, "That is if you want the spot. I don't want anyone else as my medic."

"Hell yeah. You're gonna owe me a third drink too though." Jason laughed, "Yeah? Why's that?"

"For all the future times I'll save your ass." He remembered laughing his ass off at that joke that they both knew was probably true as hell.

"Trent. This is a big position. This is BRAVO." Jason's tone turned serious, "I need you to be sure about this." Jason knew the temptation with an offer to join an elite team was just to jump and say yes. He needed to be sure though.

"Jason, I will not let you down. I will be the best medic I know how to be. I will not leave my brothers. I will not fail. I know I cannot fail." That was all Jason needed to hear. Trent had certainly kept his promise thus far.

Now though, Jason stared at his bruised face, the IVs snaking through his arms, the wires connected to his chest, the bruises and cuts. He just watched the rise and fall of his chest until he couldn't anymore. Then he paced, and just kept pacing.

"Jason, cut it out. You're going to wear a hole in the damned floor." Eric's voice cut through Jason's reeling thoughts.

"Keeping myself busy." Eric shifted the pile of paperwork that he had balanced on his lap. Jason noticed the bags under his eyes, the redness they were rimmed with. He noticed the way Eric was getting increasingly quiet. All the signs that he was running on fumes, they surely would run out soon.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" It was usually Eric checking on all of them, forcing them to sleep and eat and do all other normal human things.

"I could ask you the same question." Jason stopped his pacing momentarily and stared at Trent, still unmoving.

"Just try and sleep Eric. He's certainly not going anywhere. Sonny sure as hell isn't waking up anytime soon. If you sleep, everyone else will too." Jason nodded towards the door where they could see through the small window most of the team, strewn about across chairs and the small couch in the waiting area. They had made themselves as comfortable as they could but yet there eyes remained open. Eric nodded and moved his paperwork off of his lap, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Wake me when Trent decides to come back to work and get off his ass." Jason let himself chuckle at the joke, "Copy."

It was only a few minutes before he could hear in the back of his head, the back of all the rumbling thoughts, the soft snoring of Eric and the ragged but strong breathing from Clay. That was enough to keep him sane at the moment. Now, he just needed to see Trent open his eyes.

Ray strolled through the halls, trying to stretch his legs and grab one last thing to eat before he tried to get some rest. He had wandered up to the next floor and he wouldn't try to deny that it wasn't an accident. He knew that this was where Sonny's room was. He was only hoping to get an update.

What he didn't expect to see was Davis, sitting with her head in her hands, outside of his room. Ray kept his distance at first, trying to evaluate the situation. He was close with Davis, close enough to go ask if she was alright. However, he wasn't sure if now was the time to push on the feelings that Sonny and Davis clearly had for each other. Ray palmed the apple he was eating before throwing it in the trash at the corner and walking over to her. He squatted in front of her chair and pulled her hands apart that had been grasping together so tightly. She looked up at Ray, her eyes welled with tears, her face scared. It was just a moment of understanding. Ray wasn't sure if Sonny and Davis were in love, or if they would ever face their fears, or maybe they were just the kind of friends where you do truly love them with everything you have but not in a romantic way. A sibling type of way. Ray wasn't sure, but it only took a moment to look at Davis and see she was terrified of losing him. Terrified of him never waking up. They all were.

Lisa wrapped Ray in a hug, pulling him close. For the first time since all of this started, she let herself cry. She didn't cry when Alana died, she didn't cry when Clay got shot, she didn't cry when Adam died, not when Clay was losing it over the death of his friend, not when she got the news that Jason was leaving, not when she watched them carry Adam off the cargo plane, or when they put him in the ground. Sonny Quinn getting blown up though, spiking a fever, and trying to fight said fever that just keeps on climbing. That would get her.

It was several minutes before Lisa finally spoke, her head buried in the crook of Ray's neck, "I can't lose him. You guys can't lose him. The team it can't, it wouldn't be the same. I can't lose Sonny. We can't." Ray pulled away, holding her by her shoulders.

"Davis, you think he's going to give up? He's certainly not going to give up. The doctors said he needs time. They haven't even started lifting his sedation. They're doing what's best for him by keeping us from visiting. He needs to rest." Lisa nodded but Ray knew it was most of an instinctual response then actual agreement.

"I just wish he knew we were here. I wish we knew we wanted him fighting. Ray, what happened? I mean, I know Eric stepped away, but I could still hear him. Barely, because his voice was just so weak, but I could hear him giving up. I could hear him slipping away. I just need him to know that he can't give up. He needs to know he has people waiting for him to wake up." Davis was searching his face as if he had the answers. He didn't, not even close.

"He does. Jason got through to him. In the last few minutes, after Trent hit him with the epinephrine, he got through to him. He knew he should keep fighting." Ray swiped at the one lone tear that was sitting on her cheek, "Come on Lisa, let's get you some coffee and something to eat." She shook her head, "The nurses have been telling me how he's doing when they go in to monitor him. His fever came down a degree last hour." Ray stood, "We'll only be a minute. Come on. I'll keep you company after." Ray held out a hand, hoping that she would just stop being stubborn. She grabbed it reluctantly and followed him down towards the cafeteria, sneaking one last look back at Sonny's room.

Jason stared out the window, not really taking in where they were. Still in the middle east, in the best base hospital they had set up. It still wasn't great, only two floors. Not enough beds, or rooms, or staff. It was enough though. Trent's monitors beeping faster caused Jason to spin around. Trent's eyes were lolling around the room, not landing on one thing for too long.

"Where? Sonny? Is Sonny ok? Brock needs, uh, he needs…" His voice was confused and thick with sleep, his eyes barely open as he spoke. He turned his head to the side, finding Jason.

"I need to, to check on Sonny. I need to, to call Sarah. She, she's worried I bet." Jason came to the side of his bed and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to ground him. "He's good. He's got care now. Take it easy." Jason released him for a split second to get the cup off water from the table. Trent's voice sounded so scratchy and painful, he knew he must want water. Trent took the opportunity to try to sit up, a grunt and yell came out of his sore throat. This got Eric out of his seat quickly, Clay also starting to wake up. Both of them stumbled out of sleep to help.

"Woah, woah, easy Trent. Calm down brother." Jason was holding his shoulder as gently as he could, Eric holding the other. Clay grabbed his hands, keeping him from moving all that much.

"Trent, you're good man. See, I'm good. We're all good. Breathe." Clay felt strange instructing Trent to breathe when just a few hours ago, that felt like day ago, Jason was giving him the very same instructions. Trent's chest heaved with pain.

"Shit, shit, shit." Trent gritted his teeth and put a hand to his side.

"I'll get a doctor." Eric disappeared out of the room, Clay coming to take his spot. Jason smiled down at Trent, "Welcome back man. Welcome back." Trent's eyes were glazy with drugs and with sedation, but he knew how much emotion was in Jason's words. "Now, please calm down. No need to give Eric a heart attack this young. Everyone is fine, and we can catch you up once you lay down and let us talk. You're good. You did good. You did a damn good job." Trent took a deep breath, as deep as he could with the stitches and forced him to relax all of his muscles. Eric came back through the door with the doctor in tow.

"Well, hello. How are we feeling? It's good to see your eyes open." The doctor, who Jason had come to like, smiled genuinely at his patient.

"Not bad. I just need to know how the guys are. Did Clay get a chest x-ray? Is Sonny out of surgery?" The doctor continued to check his vitals as Trent rambled on about everyone besides himself. "Yes, Clay did get a chest x-ray. I will in fact let you look at all of their charts after I get you checked out and after you have some food. Sonny has been out of surgery for several hours. He's fighting the infection as hard as he can. He lost a lot of blood, but you saved his life. He's still sedated but we will probably be lifting his sedation later today. I won't lie to you though, I won't sugar coat it. It is up to his body and his strength on rather or not he is able to fight the infection, to wake up after the sedation."

"How long was I out?" Trent had a thousand questions, "About 12 hours." The doctor wrote in Trent's charts for a while. "Well, all things considered, you look pretty damn good. Your stitches are holding up well. That button there is for morphine. I'll come check on you later. For now, you should try to eat something. I'll have a nurse bring you your charts for your team. Take it easy though."

The doctor's cooperation was astonishing to Jason. He didn't try to fight Trent on checking up on the team, he just immediately let him know that would only be possible after he got himself fixed up a little. Yeah, Jason certainly liked this doctor. Clay and Eric both chatted with Trent, catching him up on what happened, Jason chimed in as well when he could. Clay looked better after sleeping through the night, his bruises still there, the stitches, and the winces. It was his eyes that looked better though. Trent was finally relaxing back into his bed when he asked, "Can I see everyone? Please?" He looked at Jason when he asked, knowing Jason would be hounding him to rest. After he had been losing so many people in his life, he had been getting pretty protective. Trent understood, he just wanted to see his guys.

Jason, after a few conditions, went to the waiting room and got everyone. They filed in, making jokes, being loud and boisterous as usual. Trent's face lit up. Seeing everyone up and walking, healthy, or at least conscious and healing, was the medicine he could get at the moment. They filled the room, making jokes about him slacking off and taking time off to catch a nap. Trent smiled and let them talk, let them make jokes, let himself be the center of attention while not really concentrating on what was going on. The drugs were muddling his mind. Jason noticed after about 20 minutes of catching up that Trent was struggling to keep his eyes open, fighting the morphine. He nodded to Clay who stood, "I'm going to go get some coffee, you guys want to come?" They all seemed to catch the message and filed out of the room, promising to come back later after he had gotten some rest.

Once again, Jason was alone with Trent. Jason grabbed his hand, "You just get some rest." Trent groaned, "Sarah? Does she know?" Jason figured he would ask about her again. "Ray called Naima, she told them what Ray was able to tell her. She knows you're alright. Healing." Trent only groaned in response. The morphine really taking over, "Shh, you're good. Just sleep." Jason took his seat by Trent's bed again.

"Jace, I'll request to move from BRAVO, when we're home, I'll move. I'll transfer." Jason's head snapped up from the floor tiling he was staring at. He wanted to question him. Why the hell did he want to leave BRAVO? Trent's eyes were closed though, his breathing even. He had slipped into the sweet oblivion of morphine induced sleep. He looked to the door at the sound of Mandy's heels across the tiling.

"Hey, I brought you some food and a coffee. Hey? You ok?" Mandy took in the confused look on Jason's face, the almost pained look that lived there.

"Trent wants to leave the team." Jason got up, "I need some air."

AN: Ok, there it is! Trent is awake! I tried to write some Sonny and Davis moments without Sonny being awake, hopefully ya'll like it. I had a request to write the into the story a bit, I like that idea too! I'm very excited for tonight's episode. This chapter was a little longer and I expect the next one to be too. Why does Trent want to leave? Well, you'll probably find out some time early next week;)


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Alright, I have a feeling this chapter will be hard for me to figure out and I'm just trying to let myself take it as I write it and figure out where I want it to go so hang with me! I liked writing Davis and Sonny moments in so I'm going to continue that storyline… I hope the show does too! I loved last week when Sonny went out with Clay. Also, Mandy and Jason fighting is super interesting to me. Ray has got to keep an eye on him! The season is going in a super cool direction. Anyway, I'm going to get to writing the actual story and stop obsessing over last week's episode butttt, hopefully I can get this chapter up before the next episode which looks super good!

Mandy stood and watched Jason walk down the hall, his hand shoved deep into his pockets, and out one of the side doors of the base hospital. She turned to the waiting room and looked around. After everyone had gone to get food, they mostly had either come back to continue to wait, gone back to the barracks to get other clothes and a shower, or were doing paperwork elsewhere. It seemed as though Lisa, Brock, Clay, and Ray were all still in the hospital while Eric and Kairos went to get clothes and sleep in actual beds for a few hours. It was good that Eric rest, he certainly needed it after running around trying to get everyone squared away the past two days. The guy was up to his eyeballs in bureaucratic red tape. Mandy knew that Blackburn as perfectly capable of sorting through it all himself but usually his guys weren't barely hanging on in a hospital as he was trying to do it. She knew Lisa would not be leaving anytime soon as she continued to wait for any sort of update on Sonny. She practically left up anytime a doctor or nurse on Sonny's case was in view. And she knew Ray felt obligated to stay. After all of his head butting with Jason and the death of Alana she had noticed his calculated steps. He was more and more aware of every impact his actions and even more his reactions had. Clay was certainly in no shape to leave and hell, neither was Brock.

Lisa was filling out her post operation reports, it was standard procedure for a usual op. This time though, with the injury and the surprise change of EXFIL location there was extra paperwork. She had been able to avoid it at first but after a little pushing from Ray to just do something to keep her mind away from Sonny she got to work on it. She had been trying to stay away from Sonny's room. It wasn't good for her to sit and watch nurses come and go, watch them talk to each other as quietly as possible and then come over to tell her the same thing over and over, "He's still sedated but he's hanging in there."

The paperwork was much less painful then having to watch that. It was nearly noon at this point. Mandy looked to Ray next. He was also filling out his paperwork from the operation. Eric had been on the phone for hours trying to figure out all of the logistics, who was in trouble, what they were in trouble for, what governments were mad at him. It was all bull in Mandy's eyes. Brock was resting, his eyes closed but far from sleeping. He couldn't do much else. He was ordered by the doctor to not do his paperwork or any reports on the computers from his concussion. That was only thing keeping him from it all. Not a bad excuse actually. Then Mandy's eyes landed on Clay who was staring into Trent's room. He was still picking at the salad he had and rolling around the apple he had picked up. As soon as Mandy looked at him, he snapped his eyes up to her. He placed his salad on the table and stepped away from the group. Mandy crossed her arms over her chest, shifting back and forth from heel to heel.

"Why did Jason just look pissed as hell when he came out of there? Trent's ok right?" Clay's voice came out weak at first. It was the way it sounded after long operations and sleepless nights. He needed a glass of water and maybe half a bottle of Scotch.

"He just needs to get away for a bit. Can you stay with Trent? Stick around till someone else comes to hang with him? I can go check on Jason." Mandy didn't want to leave Trent alone, but she certainly couldn't leave Jason to his own devices right now. Not after Trent just dropped a bomb like wanting to leave the team. The same team Jason hand-picked. The team that Jason considered his family. Jason was blaming himself for enough already, he didn't need the dissolution of his team on his shoulders as well.

"Yeah, of course." Clay's response was immediate, no hesitation in his voice. Mandy looked him up and down though and then hesitated herself. Clay had reached out to the wall for support, leaning into it. He had a shake to his voice, bags under his eyes, He certainly didn't look good himself.

"You need a break later. Eric may be gone and Jason and every other sane person to tell you to sit the hell down before you fall down but I'm still here. Go, sit, drink water. I'll be back and take over and then you're going to shower and sleep. Actual, real sleep in the barracks." Her voice held an edge, but she had reached out and grabbed Clay's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "And by the way, if you haven't heard it already. You did really good out there in the field Spencer. That couldn't have been easy." Clay didn't respond at first, just swallowed thickly at the compliment.

"I'll sleep when Trent can keep his damn eyes open and Sonny isn't fighting with everything he's got in him just to get his next breath in. Then I'll take a damn shower, then I'll go sleep. Till then, nothing else matters." Mandy wanted to argue, she wanted to shake him and remind him that him sticking around and running himself ragged helps no one. He can be a hell of a lot more helpful after a shower and a few hours of good sleep, but she knew at this point of exhaustion there was no appealing to logic. She would simply have to cross that bridge when she was able to find Jason and get him calmed down.

With one last look at Davis, who looked utterly lost, Mandy made her way down the corridor and out the same door that Jason went out. She hopped he hadn't gone far, it's not like he really could or that he would. She had a feeling he would stick close just out of his own need to be available to his men.

She was right. She found him slumped against the wall around back. She took in is sight. The way his flannel shirt hung off one of his shoulders, the white t-shirt underneath it wrinkled from sitting in chairs. His jeans hanging off his hips, his face pale and drawn in from lack of sleep, the creases in his forehead more prominent from the contrast of bruising and stitches. She noticed the way he clutched his closed fist into his flannel, blood dripping onto the ground. Damn it, Jason.

Mandy crept forward, as if she was approaching a scared animal. "Jace, what happened?" Her voice was soft, her professionalism long gone. As he turned to face her, she could see the tear tracks down his cheeks, the heavy breathing of him trying to hold it together. Regain some sort of composure and control.

"Jace?" She tried again as he stared down at his bruised and bloody first. She gently took hold of it and shimmied out of her jacket, wrapping it around the hand to stop the bleeding.

"I just, uh, I was angry and ended up punching, the, uh wall. Stupid." Mandy nodded as he continued to stare at his hand, now holding the bunched-up jacket against it.

"Jason, I think you just need to wait and talk to Trent. Maybe it's nothing, he's heavily drugged right now." Before Mandy could finish though, Jason let out a sob and sank down against the wall, his boots digging into the dirt as his shirt rode up his back, the bricks scratching him on the way down. The pain was welcome though, in some strange way it kept him grounded as he began to cry.

"I think I made a mistake. I think, I think Ray was right. I think you were right. I think I did this. Mandy, I think this is on me. Alana died, she died, and I had to leave my guys. I left them and then Adam dies. Clay gets, gets shot. The kid was nearly losing it out there. Ray told me, he was, a, a mess. I wasn't there. Then I, I come back, first op back and, and we should have been fine. We would have been fine. I just, I saw that kid. He was a kid Mandy. I saw the kid and I didn't think anything of it. He couldn't have been older than 10. That's a rookie mistake. A mistake that could kill Sonny. It damn near killed everyone else. I should have shot. I should have looked for the shot. I could have gotten him before he even threw the grenade. A shit grenade. It's on me. Now, Trent wants to leave. He should. They all should. I don't deserve this team anymore. I ruined them. This is on me Mandy. This is on me."

Mandy stood in front of him, one hand on her forehead, the other on her hip as she tried to keep up with Jason's words. They came so fast, through sobs and tears that she could hardly decipher what he was saying.

"Jason, slow down, just slow down. What do you mean you saw the kid?" This was the first Mandy was hearing of this information. She knelt down now, her body coming to sit in front of Jason's drawn knees. She didn't think of the dirt that was slowly staining her dress pants, and she certainly didn't think about the fact that she wanted nothing more than to change into jeans and get out of said dress pants. She only focused on Jason's labored breathing and lost eyes.

"I was scanning the hillside and I saw a kid. I didn't think he looked armed. He wasn't fighting age. I just, I could tell he was grabbing at something but all I could think of was he was Mikey's age. A child. A child doesn't even understand war or death or killing. I should have shot. I should have killed him. If I had shot him, we wouldn't be here. We would be home and Sonny would be fine. We'd all be fine." Jason tried to look at her but couldn't manage it, "I shouldn't have come back to the team. I've only been making everything worse. Everyone I'm involved with, everyone I love, I make them worse." Jason had stopped crying; his voice now was just defeated.

He sounded more detached than she had ever heard him before. She usually expected him to sound this way when there was tragedy in the teams or in the field. It wasn't uncommon for the guys to speak in this detached manner, as if none of it mattered anyway, as if it didn't affect them at all. It usually made it easier to handle. This was something else entirely. She had never heard Jason sound like this. Mandy looked to her right, over the fences, past the wall, into the broken city before her. Torn apart by war for years. A conflict so deeply rooted and so far gone there was no repairing it.

"Jason, look at me." She waited, "Look. At. Me." Finally, he pulled his gaze up to hers. "Have you seen the overwatch footage? The drone footage?" Jason shook his head. "Jason, from where you were there was no way you could have seen what he was grabbing at. You could not tell he was grabbing a gun or a grenade or a knife or a teddy bear. You're right, he was a child. He killed himself for a cause that he probably didn't understand. He killed himself, the men who converted him killed him. Not you and not anyone else."

Jason looked like he wanted to say something else, but Mandy put her hand up, "No, listen to me. I stared at that footage for hours upon hours last night and the day before. I analyzed every damn detail of it. You couldn't see. You may have seen a kid, but you saw nothing more than that. If you killed him and it wasn't a grenade that would have broken you too. It would break anyone. War is complicated and boots on the ground is complicated. You had limited information, we all did. It's an impossible choice to make and you made the best one you could. You thinking about your children doesn't make you any better or any worse of a soldier. You may operate slightly different than you did before Alana died but I wouldn't say it makes you worse off. You did nothing wrong Jason. What the hell is wrong with you talking that you're leaving the team again?"

"Mandy, I can't stay. Not if me staying causes everyone to want to leave." She shook her head furiously, standing back up to her feet. "To hell with that. Trent doesn't want to leave because of you, he never said that. Get your head out of your ass and talk to him. When you left the first time it gutted the team. It killed Eric to know one of his best operators, the guy he could always depend on was gone. Lisa had to adjust to Adam, Ray was trying to figure out how to operate again without the guidance of the man he always looks to, has always protected without fail. Trent was put in positions he'd never been put in before, having to call the time of death on Adam, declare him dead while they had to push on. Brock wasn't himself. No one was operating the same. Don't get me started on Clay. You think he would have been such a mess with Adam if you had been there? No, he needed you. They need you and you need them." Mandy paused, pushing her hair out of her face as she stared at the broken tier one operator in front of her. "I need you Jason. You lead the team I want working all my ops. Your family needs you, this version of you. They need BRAVO 1. This is not him." Jason's head came up at that. He was nodding now as he pushed himself back to his shaky feet, as he reached out to Mandy, pulled her close for the second time in 24 hours and as she held on to him as tightly as she could manage. "I know that it's been a hard 4 months for you. I can't even imagine. Jason don't leave. You know that's not the solution to this problem."

"Shit. I just can't lose anyone else. I can't lose anyone else." He broke down, finally let the emotions of the past several months come down around him.

Mandy tightened her grip on his arms, practically holding him up, and whispered in his ear, "Jace, don't let that fear of losing anyone else cause you to lose everyone you love without a single bullet." With that the dam broke. Jason Hayes, BRAVO 1, tier one operator, team leader, father, son, husband, widow, all the labels disappeared, and he was just a man, standing in the chilled middle eastern air, clinging to a friend like a lifeline.

Mandy wasn't sure how much time passed or how long they stood with Jason losing his shit before he fell back into the dirt again, how long they stayed like that on the ground, or how long it was until he finally pulled the jacket off of his swollen hand and muttered to her that he needed to go clean his hand. Mandy stayed on the ground even after Jason stood up and walked back inside. No, Jason Hayes would not be leaving BRAVO. He may think that's what his team needs but, in his heart,, he knows that would be the most detrimental thing he could do to them. You don't leave your brothers. It's their most absolute rule, his most absolute rule.

Ray sat in the uncomfortable chair that had become his second home, his refuge in the darkness that was the past two days. He had finished his reports long ago and now smiled lightly at Lisa's sleeping figure. She had finally passed out from exhaustion. Now though, he had nothing to do besides sit and reread his operation report and think.

From his seat he could see only part of Clay in Trent's room. With a small yell, Ray stood, trying to get a better look at where the noise came from. He saw Trent was still unconscious, the pain meds keeping him out most of the morning. He saw Clay's hands close into tight fists in his sleep, turning onto his side.

"I WON'T LET GO." Clay's voice didn't sound his own as he yelled out in fear and pain through his sleep. Ray shoved out of his chair and entered Trent's room. Clay was trashing in his sleep, his chair confining him to tossing back and forth.

"Clay, hey wake up." Ray tried keeping his distance, calling to him. "Come on Clay wake up." Clay only continued to mutter cries of "I won't let go," and "stop, please. Just hang on." Mantras of a broken man. Ray stepped closer, reaching out his good hand to try to shake Clay awake. He worried he'd get his ass knocked on the ground by Clay but the first shake only seemed to cause him to yell out more in distress. Brock was in the room now too. He'd come up beside Ray as he shook Clay again.

"Spencer, hey wake up bro. You're good man, just wake up. Come on." Ray gently slapped his face and Spencer shot forward. He gasped for air as he rose to his feet, stumbling as he snapped his eyes from face to face. Brock grabbed his shoulders, Ray holding his bad arm across his chest after being jostled.

"Hey! You're good Clay. We're in the hospital. On base." Clay sucked in a big breath as he nodded at Brock's words. Ray noticed Trent was awake again, he looked around from each of the guys, trying to figure out the situation. A nurse had appeared in the door way.

"Excuse me, is everything alright?" Her voice was hesitant, as if she knew she was invading on the personal touch of trauma aftermath. Clay turned away from her in a rather small attempt to shield his ragged breath, wide eyes, and teary eyes.

"Yes, everything is alright, sorry for the noise." Ray told the nurse and then quickly peered out into the waiting room to the other questioning eyes, giving them a nod. Ray wasn't sure where Jason and Mandy were, but Kairos had returned to the waiting room. He looked much more rested at this point. Brock still had a hand on Clay as he pressed a hand against his chest. It seared in pain with each heavy breath he brought into his panicked lungs. Trent looked nervously from Ray to Brock then to Clay. His face was pale, his legs shaky, his head down as if he couldn't bear to bring it up. Ray stepped forward, "You good?" It was a loaded question.

Clay waited a beat, "Is Sonny awake? Is there a, an update on him?" Ray hesitated at the question, unsure of where he was going with it. "Uh, no. There hasn't been an update in a bit." Ray took the glass of water Brock offered to him and passed it along to Clay, "maybe you should sit for a bit." It was a gentle suggestion. Clay only shook his head. "I'm going to get an update on Sonny." Clay took a few sips of the water, his breathing regaining normalcy. He pushed off from the wall he was leaning against and squeezed Trent's calf gently. "How ya feeling?" He acted as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just suffered a horrible dream.

"I could ask you the same question." Trent, even in his slightly medicated and injured state, was on edge at the current state of Clay. "You disrupt your stitches?" He could never quite put down his medical cloak and just be taken care of, no, no, no, Trent would never stop being the medic. "Nah, I'm good. It was, just, a uh, just a dream. I'm alright. Thank you though." His tone was convincing but the shake in his hand as he ran it through his hair told a different story.

Ray let him go though, he wasn't sure he should, and he wasn't sure it was the best call to make but after everything he guessed the kid needed to be alone for a few minutes to gather himself. He deserved that much.

Eric rose from his bed in the barracks, he felt considerable better than when he had laid down to sleep about 3 hours ago. As he entered the bathroom, he found Jason who was rubbing sleep from his eye and wincing as hot water poured over his bloodied hand. Jason's head snapped up to meet Eric's questioning gaze.

"What'd you do?" Eric turned the steaming water off and pulled Jason's hand up to his face.

"Just had some thinking to do." Jason's voice was barely above a whisper. "Thinking huh? Kind of seems like you weren't thinking." Eric released his hand and opened a cupboard, pulling out a small first aid kit. Jason only stared at his hand.

"Hayes, when was the last time you slept?" Jason only continued to stare. "I just slept. I slept for a, an hour or so." Eric grabbed his hand again, looking at the bruising that was starting to take over his hand. He gently cleaned the cuts and wrapped it in silence.

"It looks like you could use some more sleep. I'm ordering you to sleep for another 2 hours Hayes." Jason pulled his hand away quickly, "I have to talk to Trent." Eric grabbed at his hand again, not wanting him to ruin the wrap job.

"Whatever it is, it can wait." Eric's voice sounded more like it did during operations, calm and steady yet commanding.

"It can't. I'll sleep, I just need to talk to him. I'll sleep." Eric hesitated to respond but before he could come up with more convincing words to urge him back into his cage to his bed Jason continued, "Blackburn it's about his future on the team. I-"Eric didn't have to hesitate this time.

"Go. Talk to him and then sleep, I don't care what the hell comes up after. You're sleeping." Jason nodded and pressed the end of the wrap over his knuckle before nodding to Eric.

"Jason, don't let him do anything stupid." Jason nodded, "Of course, sir." Blackburn put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath in. All he wanted right now was to be back stateside.

After Clay's dream Ray and Brock had pulled up chairs next to Trent's bed. Trent looked much better now. He had more color in his face and although his movements were still slow and pained, his stats were much more stable. The doctors were pleased Trent's fever had dropped and was only mild now from infection. The antibiotics were working.

"Where's Jason?" Trent finally managed to breach the question. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Clay said he left here looking pissed as hell with Mandy earlier. He's probably calming down." Brock replied.

Trent shook his head, "That was my fault." Both men raised their eyebrows at that.

"How exactly is it your fault? You mean you're what pissed Jason off?" Ray sat up and offered Trent another sip of water before Trent explained.

"I just, he wants me off the team. I know that. I understand. I just figured with everything that had happened to him the past months I should leave before he's forced to ask me to go." Ray was seething in his seat. Brock was clearly upset too.

"Speak of the devil." Brock muttered as Jason idled up to Trent's doorway.

"Could I have a few minutes with Trent?" Ray stood up at his voice, his bedside chair squealing across the tile.

"What the hell is the matter with you? You want him off BRAVO? What the hell happened to the loyal as hell Jason Hayes? What? You lose your wife and now that's all it takes to break you? You lose Adam and you suddenly can't hold it together? Do we mean nothing to you anymore? I thought you of all people would never crack but you know what Jason you don't deserve this team anymore!" Ray was in Jason's face, screaming the words with such anger Brock wasn't sure he'd be able to stop Ray if he got any angrier. Jason was pushing him back. Trent was sitting up in his bed, confined by wires and IV's.

"You don't know shit Ray! Trent's the one that wants to leave! I would never ask him to leave! I hand picked him my damn self for this team! Second to you! What the hell do you mean I broke? You broke! You're the damn broken one! You lose one kid in combat and you feel this obligation to hide it from your team leader! Not my damn fault you busted your shoulder and couldn't handle the guilt that came with it. You lost my trust that's on you not me!" Jason could have kept going, could have kept screaming, could have continued to lose his shit. Ray could have continued too. Neither one of them had even raised a fist at the other, they were too concerned with shouting hatred at the other. Lisa had shoved herself inside the room, helping to separate them with Brock.

"Enough! Christ, ENOUGH! Both of you shut the hell up!" Brock's voice boomed over the shouts of both men. There was only the deafening beep of Trent's monitors that continued to cut through the silence and the huffing of Ray and Jason.

Trent spoke up suddenly, his voice weak from the exhausting act of sitting up, "I need to talk to Jason." He didn't stutter or stumble. He tried as hard as he could to keep his voice strong through the sentence. Lisa had made her way over to his bedside, helping him lay back in bed as he winced at the movements. She put the morphine button in his hand, ready to help him press it but Trent shook his head, his hair matted to his face.

"I'm good. I'm ok. Thanks, Davis." She smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his face before she turned to Ray and Brock.

"Go." It was a command, not an option. They filed out of the room as Jason paced back and forth Trent's room.

"Jace, stop." Jason just continued to pace and run a hand through his hair. "Jason, stop man. Sit down. I'm not leaving." Jason did as he was instructed. Normally, Trent trying to order him would have annoyed him but at this point he had nothing left to fight with.

"Why did you think I was going to ask you to leave Trent?" Jason's eyes could have bored holes in Trent's head with how hard he was looking at him.

"I nearly killed Sonny. I should never have stepped away. I should never have left you and Clay with him. He lost so much blood and he may never wake up. That's on me. I let Clay get so bad he practically collapsed. I should have looked at Brock's head sooner. Do you realize he could have had a brain bleed that entire operation? Not to mention I never even looked you over. I'm supposed to confirm BRAVO 1s health before everyone else. I made so many damned mistakes." Jason's face looked pained for the man lying in the bed before him. Jason grabbed Trent's hand as Trent took a breath, trying to not get lost in the flashbacks to hauling Sonny to the mineshaft, hearing Jason yell for him as he started bleeding again, trying to keep him breathing on the chopper. It was too much.

"Trent, there is no medic I would rather have on my team. You had to step away. You probably would have collapsed before you even got on the chopper if you hadn't rested for a minute. Then none of us would probably have made it. You had to do the best you could in that situation. We all made mistakes. We can't have this career and think of all the what if's. I don't want to hear that shit anymore. You can't put my health above everyone else's. I know that's what the intention is, and I understand why they want you to but you and I both know that would not fly with me. Especially not when Clay and Sonny are pinned down, bleeding out." Trent nodded.

"I just feel like I failed. I think I finally failed." Jason stood, "You have never once broken your promise to me. Not to this team either. You have not failed. No matter what happens with Sonny. You were slowly bleeding all damned day and you didn't say a word, not a word. All I can ask of my team medic is to do his best to get everyone back home safely each mission. No one can expect that to happen every time, but you do your god damned best. You are selfless and the only medic I want to roll with. Now, are you good to roll with me?" Jason held out a hand to Trent who locked hands with Jason.

"Yeah, I'll always roll with you Jace." The shake seemed to confirm it all in an unspoken understanding between them both. This misunderstanding caused by the chaos and sleepy confessions was settled. Trent would not be leaving BRAVO any time soon.

"Are you and Ray going to be alright? It got a little tense in here for a sec. Thought I might have to stitch someone up from my hospital bed." Jason chuckled and started to think of how he wanted to respond. He was still pissed as hell at Ray and he knew Ray would be pissed at him. Even if he told him it was all a misunderstanding. They both had said things in the heat of the argument that they couldn't take back. Deep down Jason knew they were all things that they needed to hash out still but now wasn't the time. Jason was far too tired and irritable at the moment. Instead he told Trent, "Yeah, we'll be alright."

After everything settled down a bit, Ray was talked down by Brock, Jason told Eric all was good with Trent, and Mandy returned from getting some much-needed rest everyone gathered in Trent's room after the doctor requested, they meet together. Jason was on edge by this request, he wasn't sure what toe expect. He figured this could be really good news or he figured the doctor could be telling them all to prepare their goodbyes.

"Well, I have some positive news for Sonny Quinn." Ray looked over at Lisa who was standing, her leg shaking nervously, by the doorway.

"Let's hear it doc." Eric's voice was strong and cut through the tension the same way it did during operations.

"We are lifting his sedation and moving him down to this level of the hospital, out of ICU. His sedation will be completely lifted after an hour and then It's up to his body to recover and wake up. This could take an hour or two or this could take a couple days. We believe at this point that he will be able to fight off the rest of the infection. His fever has been holding at 102 instead of 103 and 104 degrees which is much better. For a while we were not sure he'd be able to break the fever down a bit with the extensive blood loss he had. However, now we are much more confident he'll pull through."

Lisa's leg continued to shake nervously as Ray put a hand on her shoulder. "That's great news. Uh, and for his leg? Is he going to have full mobility back?" Ray asked the question that had been hanging in the room.

"We won't know that until we can get him up and walking. He'll have extensive physical therapy for it and need time but, he does have a good amount of blood flow to it at the moment and we believe we repaired the artery." They all nodded, Mandy watching Jason's reactions, checking in yet again.

Trent began to ask question after question with doctor terms no one could keep up with, but the doc answered every one he could. He didn't get annoyed and he never seemed upset with the barrage of questioning from Trent. Even hooked to an IV, laying in a hospital bed, Trent would be checking on their health. He'd been doing it practically all damned day, asking them about this stitch and that scan. He'd never give it a rest except when he was asleep. The doctor finished up his chat by explaining that we would be able to sit with Trent in about 10 minutes after he was moved down to this level of the hospital and he would be in the room next to Trent's. Trent was pleased with this plan, it allowed him to at least feel like he was still caring for the team. Jason liked this plan too, with all the guys together in one place finally, he could keep an eye on all of them and finally start to get everything calmed down.

Ray still was fuming over his argument with Jason earlier. He considered the guy to be a mentor and a friend. He was the one he went to when he found out Naima was pregnant and was panicking over how to react, how to feel. He remembered how terrified he was of messing the kid up, but Jason was there, a presence that never left. He remembered Jason telling him, "You can read all the damned parenting books on the market, you can learn how to bake the best brownies, and you can find the best birthing classes, and you can make sure you know everything there is to know about sleep schedules and preschools and all the other mess of stuff that comes with parenting. Ray, all it comes down to though, the only important part is being there. Being present, truly present when you are there. You have to be a shoulder for them to cry on and you have to be tough when they can't be. You have to save them from themselves and let them make mistakes at the same time. You have to give yourself grace when you screw up too. You just have to be there for them, no matter what. No matter how much they screw up just be a set of arms for them to come home to. Always."

Ray still tried to parent by those words. Be a set of arms for them to come home to. Always. It was what Ray tried to remember, would repeat over and over in his head when he felt like he was doing nothing right as a parent. Still, as he looked across the room to Jason, not really paying attention to the doctor, all he could feel was anger. How could Jason say that the shoulder was his fault? I mean Ray knew it was, he knew he made a mistake, but Jason should have let that go by now. Jason was his best friend. They had been through so much together yet, as he looked at him now he looked like a complete stranger. He needed to get the hell over it. Now, he couldn't get that kid out of his head. Jason was right, that was on his hands. Jason knew that Ray would never forgive himself and the last thing he needed was to have it brought up right now. Ray stared daggers as Jace stared at the doctor intently.

After the doctor left, Eric found his way over to Jason.

"You need to go sleep, Hayes. I don't care if it's only for an hour. Go to the barracks and get true rest." Jason started to shake his head, "No, Sonny's coming down now. I need to stay." Eric was not giving up.

"Sonny won't be waking up for at least an hour. They haven't started lifting his sedation. Go and sleep now. That's an order. Everyone else has gone and slept but you." Jason crossed his arms over his chest, clearly not giving in either.

"I slept earlier. You saw me there. Eric, don't force me to leave my guys." Trent, who had been silent up until this point but obviously trying to listen in on the conversation, spoke up. "Jason don't be an idiot. I'll call you if something changes. Hell, I'll call you when the doc says he's lifting sedation. Eric is right. You need to sleep. Don't stress me out by collapsing from exhaustion." Trent tried a small smile as he sat up in the hospital bed, much better than when he had tried earlier.

"I'll call you Jason. I will." Eric nodded at him positively, trying to still get him to go and rest. Even if it was just for a little while it would still be better. Jason's body practically screamed exhaustion. There were dark circles around his eyes, his cuts looked angry, his hand still wrapped, he was leaning against any nearby wall he could find. Eric hadn't seen him without a cup of coffee in his hand since they had arrived at the hospital. It was like an accessory at this point. An unhealthy attachment to his body. The caffeine lead to a shake in his hands though. A tell-tale sign that the caffeine was simply not enough anymore. The guy probably hadn't gotten more than 2 or 3 hours of sleep at a time in 4 days. Finally, with a look of annoyance, Jason pushed off from the wall and nodded to Trent.

"For you ya son of a bitch." That managed to get a chuckle out of both Eric and Trent as Jason came and shook Trent's hand, leaning in close. "You call me when you hear Sonny is down here. I mean it. I'll have you running hill drills for months if I find out otherwise. You keep resting up, I need my medic at his best. I love ya brother." Jason clasped his hand and then released him, "Love ya too Jace."

Jason silently made his escape to the barracks. He would never admit it, but once he was out of the hospital, he was actually excited to sleep for a little. He figured he could sleep for an hour and then take a very quick shower before heading back to the hospital. If he could just get a little rest, then maybe he'd be able to manage talking to Ray. He felt bad about the exchange of words between the two of them. To be honest, he knew that if they both hadn't been beaten up already, they probably would have thrown hands with how angry they both had gotten. He had never talked to Ray like that and Ray had never said those types of things to Jason. He knew it needed to be fixed but, not now.

Mandy noticed Lisa had already found a seat outside of Sonny's new room and had no intention of moving. She pulled up one next to her. Mandy had known Lisa a long time, she had worked with her for nearly 3 years and had run into her from working different ops long before that. She had never seen her get as close to a team as she had with BRAVO though. She had seen her go from tentatively preparing their gear to giving them advice on their lives. Mandy wasn't an idiot though. She knew how close she was getting with Sonny Quinn. After Danny died last year, she wasn't sure what to expect from Davis. I mean, she knew she was tough as hell and she didn't expect her to fall apart. Still, it was a tough set of circumstances. She and Danny were just reconnecting, it was someone she was very close with, and she lost him. It was after that though that she started getting closer with Sonny.

"How ya holding up Davis?" Mandy eyed her. "I'm alright." Her voice said otherwise.

Mandy thought back to about a month after Davis lost Danny. She remembered how Davis was just returning to work. Someone from another team, maybe ECHO team had offered their condolences and the wall that she had been so delicately building over the last month came crashing down. She walked out in the middle of a debrief and it was Sonny that went after her. She remembered Eric giving her about 10 minutes before subtly asking Mandy to go make sure she was alright. It had taken a few minutes to figure out where shew was, but she found her in the cages, Sonny's cage to be exact. She was on the floor, half of her body shielded from Mandy's view by Sonny's Texas flag on the opposite wall that he so proudly displayed. She had obviously been sobbing, consoled as Sonny rocked her slowly back and forth. Sonny spotted her and shook his head in silence. He had her. Mandy walked back into the debrief and reported to Eric that she was fine. Sonny would be back when he could. She could fill them both in later.

Now, Mandy didn't know how to comfort her. She was not the comforting type and she had been forced to do far too much of that crap throughout the past 3 days. So now, all she could manage was simply grabbing Lisa's hand and reminding her only once, "He'll pull through. He always does. He's too damn stubborn."

The doctor came around the corner then, just behind him a nursing team pushed Sonny into the room on a hospital bed. He had IV's and tubes, a giant oxygen mask over his face. He was dressed in a hospital gown with his leg exposed up to his hip. They could see the ugly stitches, the strange color to it. They didn't notice the way his breaths rattled in his chest, or the way they gurgled out. Each one was strained and slow. There was a sheen of sweat over his face and his hair was matted down along the sides. It was clear he had been sweating, despite the fact that if you looked closely, he seemed to be trembling.

"You can sit with him now. There will be nurses monitoring him closely as we begin to lift his sedation over the next hour. But you can sit with him now." The whole team was moving, pulling in chairs and arranging themselves so they could all fit. Brock opted to stay with Trent, to keep him in the loop and also to keep an eye on the guy. He would be discharged in few hours, contingent on the fact the doctors be able to continue to check on him. He'd at least be able to join the team in Sonny's room. Waiting patiently by his bedside for him to wake up. At least, that was the hope. The fact that he could never wake up still loomed over each of them.

"Um, can he, uh, can he hear us you think?" Lisa spoke up as she gently took his hand, as if she might break him.

"We can't be for sure. It's never a bad thing to know that you're loved though. If you have something to say, there's always good in saying it." The doctor then left, leaving the team to stare at the rise and fall of his chest, stare at his oxygen levels, and patiently watch his temp praying it drop just a degree. Mandy watched Lisa's reaction to the doctor as she slowly shook her head.

She had nothing to say.

AN: Alright! I know that took a while but there it is! I hope you enjoyed and please let me know what ya'll think! I promise next chapter will be more centered around Sonny and so there will definitely be more moments with Sonny and Davis coming up! I wanted to write in some of the tension between Mandy and Jason, so I tried to include that while also sticking true to the friendship that they seem to have. Also, I feel like Trent and Brock are close or should be close to I put that in as well. I hope you enjoy and I am so excited for next week's episode where they are pinned in the church! It should be a good one!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: So I hope you guys are enjoying. This is the much-awaited chapter where Sonny will be waking up and hopefully (hehehe) starting to recover. I'm going to try to get this chapter up before I start my finals and my studying for finals which is next week, so fingers crossed. After that I'll be on break and will hopefully be able to update and wrap this up nicely! Enjoy and I love reading all your reviews so keep them coming if you feel so inclined!

If you were a passerby of Sonny's room, you would see Kairos sitting outside in a chair that was much too small for him. Mandy would be seated next to him typing away on a laptop, probably responding to emails and sending reports all across the globe. If you peered in through the crack in the door you would find Clay sitting at the left side of Sonny's bed, trying over and over to find a comfortable position in the plastic chair, only to eventually end up standing. Jason was eyeing him with discomfort, worried about the young man's injuries. Jason would be restless too. He'd flip through his phone that didn't have much information on it. No apps or anything he had on his civilian phone. Then he'd try to rest his eyes, think he heard movement and snap his eyes open. He never could bring himself to look at Ray though. Eric sat silently in the corner and would occasionally wander over to Trent's room to report that although they had now been sitting with Sonny for almost an hour there was no change. His fever was still at 102 and he was still out cold. Mostly, Eric went over to check on Brock. Eric had spied him rubbing at his temples still, closing his eyes in the bright lights, yet insisted he was totally fine when Eric pushed him on the matter. Trent was resting but on edge. Ray was mostly concerned with typing up his report from the day. They were passing around the computer to finish writing up their reports, each taking turns recalling each disastrous event after another. Each one trying to allow the memories as little as possible. It was Lisa though that would really catch your attention. Her face looked pained as she stared from one monitor to another. She didn't speak, she didn't look up. She simply kept her eyes trained on his heart rate, the rise and fall of his chest. Her eyes had seemed to not be dry since she had walked into the room. Just keep breathing. That was all she needed.

Lisa thought back to her first-time meeting Sonny. He was new to BRAVO and although Jason had picked him as one of the original guys on the team he was injured on an operation with his old team and had to take a few weeks rest. It irritated the hell out of him. There was no way he could operate with busted ribs though. By the time he had come back to the team Davis had a few weeks of experience with the team under her belt. Sonny was relaxed with the guys and with Blackburn but with her and with Mandy he was different. This shyness only lasted through the first operation though. Before long he was an open book. Always talking about his fine ass and his copious drinking.

As Lisa ran her fingers absent mindedly over the edge of Sonny's stiff hospital bedsheets, she remembered them returning from their first operation. She saw the guys coming back to the base and went out with Eric to greet them from the EXFIL chopper. They were all exhausted and Sonny was eager to get some rest after having irritated his injury. She had already prepared the C130 with their hammocks out and ready for them. She did it almost every time after their operations. The relief on their face as they boarded and saw they could simply just crash and relax without going to anymore effort of putting up their hammocks was enough to make her keep up the tradition. Each time when they were on their way back to the plane she would set each one up, making sure they were the way they liked, making sure they were with their other belongings. As the plane touched down back in the states and the guys all woke up, they grumbled by and grabbed their gear before heading into the debrief room. Eric had kept it short that day and at the conclusion of the meeting Ray declared, "Let's go get some drinks! We have to buy Lisa Davis welcome drinks!" She remembered smiling, looking down at the table as she gathered her paper work and went to change into civilian clothes.

She ended up drinking so damned much that she could hardly see straight. Every time she got further and further into her stupor the more the guys laughed. They were all three sheets to the wind as well, but she was obviously not making it home by herself. Slowly Eric and Ray left the bar, then Clay and the other team members. It was just her and Sonny. She wasn't sure how it ended up being that way. She recalled the guys discussing who would help her get home but she was surprised Sonny ended up with the short stick.

She remembered the way he smelled of lumber and whiskey as he offered her a hand to dance. She was already dancing with a guy, his hands on her waist, swaying to the music. She stumbled on her feet like a new born deer, unsteady but eager.

"Sorry dude, I should get her home." Sonny didn't look at him, keeping his eyes on Lisa as she stumbled around still dancing with only herself now.

"Nah, I can take her home man. I got it." The guy was slightly smaller than Sonny and obviously almost as drunk as Davis. Lisa hardly noticed the grip the mystery man dancing with her had on her wrist. Davis slowed her swaying to the music, trying slightly to pull from his grasp as Sonny grabbed the forearm of the sandy haired man she had been dancing with and pulled him in close, saying something into his ear and then releasing him. He nodded to Lisa and quickly let go of her, then left the bar in a hurry.

"What the hell Sonny!" Her irritation coming through her tone, "He was a nice guy! I was having such a great time!" Her voice didn't sound like hers as she whined and hiccupped.

He laughed at her lightly, "You'll thank me another time. Maybe we should hold off on the dancing and get you home, hot shot." Davis shook her head.

"I'mm finne." She slurred the words out, shaking her head as she spoke. The world swam around her and she nearly fell down if it hadn't been for Sonny's hands on her wrists. His grip was so much gentler. She didn't even put up a fight as he led her out of the bar. Wow, she really was drunk. She got in the cab with Quinn and accepted his flannel as she shivered in the cool night air.

As the cab pulled up to her apartment complex she slipped out of the car, "You alright? Can you get inside ok?" Sonny's southern drawl pulled her from her drunken, giggling mind.

"Totally." She smiled at him, "See you Southern Sonny Cowboy Quinn." She giggled at the nickname she made up as she shut the door.

"Hold on a sec." Sonny told the cab driver, waiting as he watched her stumble up the stairs before suddenly sitting down on the top step. Sonny laughed, "Alright, go on. I'm going to go get her inside." Sonny exited the cab, watching the brake lights disappear down the hill.

He walked slowly up to Davis, "Looks like you almost made it inside." She giggled, muttering something about taking a short break. They both laughed, Sonny bending down and practically picking her up. His flannel over her shoulders made her look small as he helped her into her apartment and into her bedroom. He deposited her on the bed, slid her shoes off, and pulled the blanket up and over her waist. Her eyes were already closed, her breathing soft. She was certainly passed out. Sonny pulled the small trash can over to her bed, just in case, and spotted a bottle of Tylenol on her dresser that he also placed next to her. She certainly was beautiful and wild. The way her dark hair was sprawled on her pillow, her lips parted slightly. She had an elegant strength to her. They would certainly be good friends he thought to himself as he stared at her face in the moonlight.

Davis stumbled out to her small apartment living room the next morning, surprised to see Sonny Quinn, sleeping soundly under one of her blankets. His feet stuck out the bottom and hung over the edge of the couch. He looked much younger now than he did when he was operating. His face lax as he snored quietly. As she moved into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on the creaking floor boards sent Sonny shooting up from his spot on the couch.

"Sorry, uh, sorry didn't mean to startle you." He ran a hand through his hair. "No, no problem Davis." Davis stood there in her jeans and tank top from the night before, Sonny's flannel, that she was realizing was still wearing, was hanging off her frame as she stood in the kitchen. Sonny stared at her hair, it was slightly curled at the bottoms, tucked behind her ears. Her eyes looked tired but energized at the same time. She leaned uncomfortably against the kitchen counter as Sonny rose from his spot on the couch, stretching his limbs as he moved. He tossed the blanket over the back of the couch and then stood, unmoving, unsure of how to proceed in the middle of her living room.

"You, uh, you really didn't have to stay." Davis was beginning to remember the events of last night, "I'm really sorry." Her face reddened.

"How much do you remember?" Sonny chuckled as he moved to the kitchen, trying to ignore the discomfort in the room.

"Uh, I remember everyone buying me drinks to celebrate me joining the team. I remember dancing with everyone and playing pool. Then people started leaving and I was dancing with a guy, um, then, oh, thank you Sonny. I, I can't believe I was going to let him take me home. Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. Honestly, I don't usually drink like that!" She rambled on and on, but Sonny simply moved to the coffee pot and poured two mugs.

Sonny put one of the mugs down next to her, "Davis, stop the rambling. You could go on longer than a southern woman talkin about Jesus on a Sunday." Davis went silent.

"It was no big deal, ya were having fun and then I helped ya home. Which was pretty damn funny by the way." Davis watched as he took a giant swallow of his coffee, loving the way it slightly burned on the way down. It was as if it was reviving him from the past week of long nights and longer days. He couldn't seem to wipe that smirk off his face.

"I just don't want you to think I'm some crazy party girl when I'm supposed to be running your intel and making sure you all have your gear perfect. I mean, it's usually me reporting how close a call it's gonna be from one op to the next. That was our first op with you on the team and me in the COMS room so I just, uh, I'm not usually like that." Lisa quickly pulled the coffee up to her face as she spilled out the confession. "It's important to me that you know that. That, I'm not, I'm unorganized, or careless, or a crazy drinker. I'm not." She watched as Sonny Quinn, calculated and careful, walked over to her coffee table and eyed the picture frames on it.

"Are these your siblings? Your family?" Davis was confused, "Uh yeah, my older sister and my younger brother. My mom and my dad." Sonny had picked the picture up and looked at it closely. Why the hell was he looking at my pictures? He should be annoyed with me? He should want to leave.

"It's a good lookin family. Your dad served?" Sonny had noticed the pin on his lapel of his jacket in the photo, the strong posture, the buzzed hair. "Army?" Lisa nodded, "He did three tours. I think he would have stayed in the military for his whole career if he could've." Sonny smiled and put the picture back down on the table. His movements were slow, as slow as Sunday mornings.

"Why did he leave the service then?" His curiosity struck her, the intensity in his eyes as he surveyed the room, then took another big drink from his coffee. Davis stopped her movements unsure of how to answer.

"My brother died. 5 weeks into his first deployment. An IED exploded. My dad left the service after that." Sonny's face practically crumbled. He put his coffee down quickly, "Shit, I'm sorry Davis. I wouldn't have asked. I uh," Davis cut him off though, "No uh, it's fine. I'm not even sure why I said anything. I don't usually, he uh, he just wanted to be, uh with his family. That's all." Her voice was unconvincing but of course Sonny didn't push the topic. She stared at the ground for a moment, playing with the hem of his flannel. Sonny tipped his coffee mug back, letting the last of the black coffee swirl down into his mouth. He savored every last drop before setting it in the sink.

"I should go Ms. Lisa Davis. It was a fun evening." Davis followed him to the doorway, "Oh, here's your flannel!" She nearly forgot she was wearing it, still wracking her muddled mind for what point in the night it ended up on her.

"I'll get it another time, it's alright." His nonchalance was palpable as he opened the door and started to step out.

"Davis, for the record. I didn't even have to work an op with you to know you would have everything the way we wanted it. You're one of the few people Jason would trust to be in the COMS center. That's all I need to know. You don't have to prove anything. You're not unorganized, or unprofessional, or any of the other horrible things. Just a girl who can hold her liquor." He paused, almost waiting for a response more than the small chuckle that came out of Davis before she could stop it, "I'm really sorry about your brother. I know it doesn't do crap but, I am sorry." She watched as he ran a hand through his hair before shoving it into his pocket. She stood there in the doorway, the door wide open, and listened to his boots clomp down the wooden floor of her apartment complex.

That was among one of her favorite memories of Sonny Quinn. He was the first one to truly make her feel she was a team member. As valuable as any of the other members. She would give anything to have that flannel with her right now. It still hung in her closet, she wore it from time to time. Sonny never mentioned it again, and after a few months passed, she completely forgot to even return it.

Now, all she could do was sit in a plastic chair that was wreaking havoc on her back and stare at his face. It was drawn in and more pale than usual. His breathing sounded heavy, almost painful. The doctor said he was developing pneumonia as a result of the shock his body was in and the infection. The various tubes and wires made his large frame look small. He didn't look like Sonny Quinn. She prayed that once his eyes opened, if his eyes opened, he would look just like he did when he stood in the doorway of her apartment.

Hours passed, and doctors came and went. Nurses fiddled with instruments and wrote stats down time and time again. Still, Sonny made no indication of waking up. Although they had all filtered around through the hospital doing seemingly meaningful tasks just to occupy their minds and bodies, none of them left.

Trent was sitting up in bed, slightly uncomfortable, but still sitting up by his own accord. This was a huge improvement from yesterday and the day before where he was passed out on the dirty hospital floor. Brock had let him move around more, even helping him take a walk down the hallway a few minutes ago.

"Alright, let's go again." Trent moved his feet over the edge of the bed. "I'm ready to go again." Trent's voice brought Brock out of his haze. He'd been mostly catching up on paperwork and reading the book he had brought along with him on for the op. Trent looked determined though as he started to slide out of bed, taking the liberty to disconnect the wirings and pulse ox monitor from his finger.

"Uh, are you sure about that. We practically just got back." Trent didn't stop his movements though. He stood on shaky legs and started walking to the door, pulling his IV pole with him.

"I feel good." That was all Trent could manage through gritted teeth. His stitches hurt like a bitch and his muscles ached. He felt weak. He hated that most of all. The only way to get better was to get stronger. Just keep walking. Brock grave in, rising from his chair and going to Trent's other side. He didn't want to come off as hovering, but he worried about giving him too much space. Together they ventured down to the end of the hall. Trent was still slow, but better than the time before. When they reached the end of the hallway, Trent kept going.

"Alright, we should turn back Trent." Brock's voice held a nervous edge.

"No, no. I feel good. I'm good." And so, they continued to walk, around the nurse's station. It was at that point that Trent realized his breathing was a little more labored than he felt before. Each breath was singed with pain, each exhale racked through his lungs. Brock noticed how with each step he was slowing down. Each step his breath got more and more shallow.

"You doing alright?" Brock couldn't keep the question inside any longer. To his surprise, with the doorway of Trent's room in view he bit out the words, "No, I'm, I'm not." He keeled over half way, unsure he could pull himself back up. His stitches burned, his chest ached. Most of all he could not get the damned images of Sonny, bleeding out, shouting overtop of the screaming in his head of medical jargon. They bombarded his mind as he stared at Sonny's door. Just past his. Brock put another hand around him, holding him up.

"Jace!" Brock's voice came out sure and easy, he didn't seem concerned. Trent knew he probably was freaking out. It wasn't often any of them saw Trent himself hurt. It was his job, in fact, to stay away from the bullets. Perhaps Brock was simply taking a page from Trent's book and acting as though everything was peachy. Jason came out of Sonny's room, his head on a swivel, the bags under his eyes highlighted by the hallway lights. He jogged down the hall, the short 30 feet to where Brock was holding up Trent. His face was pale, his hands shaky as one of them latched onto Jason's forearm.

"Alright bro, alright we got ya. You're good. Keep walking." Jason's was steady and strong, so was Brock. They were like two crutches on either side, propelling him forward. With Brock on one side, his hand carefully placed on Trent's hip to help hold him up with the other grasping his forearm, and Jason latched on his other side, pulling the IV pole with one hand and holding Trent's torso up with the other, they meandered down the hall. Eric stuck his head out of Sonny's room, his eyes taking in the three men before him. If they were all dressed in their uniforms he would have felt as though he'd seen this scene before. Not necessarily with these men but similar situations. Brothers hauling each other back to safety, back to home. As they made it to Trent's door though, he only stopped instead of entering the room.

"No, I want, I want to see Sonny." He took another pained step forward. Brock hesitated, "Trent, man, maybe you should rest a second." Eric was coming to the hallway now, moving out of the way as Trent continued to march forward. He was nothing if not determined. Trent didn't say anything else and Jason was too tired at this point to put up much of a fight as they reached the doorway of Sonny's room. Clay rose from his chair, quickly sliding it closer to Trent. Even eliminating just one step would be seemingly helpful to him at this point.

He sank into the seat, his stitches pulling with every movement. For the first time in nearly 3 days though he could breathe a little bit easier. Not by a lot, and that breath certainly caught in his throat every time he looked at Sonny's still figure but finally seeing him, actually seeing he was still in fact breathing, made Trent feel like he could relax again.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, simply staring at his monitors and reading the chart the doctor left for him, but eventually Eric came over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You should really get back to your room before the nurses want to kill me more than they already do." He let out a sigh, shifting uncomfortably.

"I think I should stay until he wakes up. I'd like to see how his blood pressure and pulse ox holds out." Eric ran a hand over his face, the bags under his eyes deep blue like a bruise.

"Come on man." It was Clay now, "The doc is gonna spring you out of here tomorrow morning. Just let everyone take care of you for a few more hours. We'll let you know how he's doing." Trent surprised even himself by listening to their youngest team member. He shakily pushed himself out of the chair and Eric and Brock both helped him back to his room, settled him back into his bed, and then immediately pushed the morphine release button. Although he tried to fight it, it wasn't more than a few minutes before he was able to blissfully pass out.

"Gentlemen, Davis, Mandy, I appreciate all of your dedication to Sonny. Wanting to stay with him is admirable. This doesn't mean we can ignore sleeping and eating and actually taking care of ourselves. It's nearly 10 pm. Go and eat and then we can take shifts going to the barracks and sleeping." Jason simply stood against the wall of Sonny's room with his hands crossed over his chest. Internally he was raging, angry at Ray, angry at Blackburn for trying to get him to leave, angry at the whole situation. Kairos and Mandy decided to go pick up some food from the barracks for the rest of the team, Brock eventually opting to join them. Now there was Davis, Eric, Clay, Jason, and Ray all sitting idly by as Sonny continued to maintain his unconscious state. As the rest of the team came back with boxes of food and bottles of water Jason stood to help distribute it. He watched as Lisa only picked at her food and sipped on the water every couple of minutes. He himself was not very hungry.

Eric stared across the room at his BRAVO 1. He was supposed to be keeping the team together. At this point, he had heard at least a brief synopsis of the shouting match Ray and Jace got in earlier. He wasn't surprised to hear that the very palpable tension that had been between them from the past few months finally boiled over. He had to admit he was happy that they were both injured, or else he was sure they would've beat the hell out of each other. Maybe that would have been better, Eric pondered as he scarfed down his food. The two of them were not good at sharing how they felt so maybe if they at least could get a few good punches in, make each other bleed a bit, then they'd feel good with each other again. The words wouldn't need to be said.

After their late dinner, the team fell in to a silence. As more and more time ticked by, they all knew that was not a good sign. Sonny's fever had gone back up a little bit and the doctors were coming in more and more frequently. Eventually, Mandy and Kairos stood, both saying they were going to go get some rest and come back for the morning shift of sitting with Sonny. Brock was sleeping in Trent's room. Lisa was still sitting vigilantly next to Sonny's bed, rising every once in a while, to walk the length of his room before sitting again. Ray was sitting in the corner, reading from the Bible the hospital had.

" **Matthew 18** : 21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?" Ray read the words several times before shutting the book quietly and looking at the man across from him. His eyes passed over Eric who was on his phone replying to emails and operation requests. Clay was sitting next to Sonny's bed, his feet on the plastic foot of the bed, his hand absentmindedly rubbing the bullet bruise on his chest, the other hand nursing his nth cup of coffee. Finally, his eyes landed on Jason.

His eyes looked more tired than he had seen before. This wasn't the type of exhaustion that he saw at the end of long operations, or close calls, or deployments that just seem to endlessly get extended. This was exhaustion from staying up all night with his motherless children, trying to get rest but having rest evade him at all costs, from the nightmares, from the challenges of Mandy, from the betrayal of his 2nd man. He stood from his chair, leaving the Bible on the plastic chair.

"Jace, you wanna go get some coffee?" Eric was surprised to see Ray extending the Olive Branch. Surprised, but pleased.

"Ya know? I'm good." Jason hardly looked up. "Come on brother, come get some damn coffee." Jason, although still angry, knew that eventually they would have to talk. He stood and let Ray lead them out of Sonny's hospital room. As much as he wanted to go back to being angry at Ray, let the anger take over and pull away from his anxiety over Sonny's condition, he knew he couldn't. They walked silently down the hallway to the small station that had water and coffee. The silence was suffocating, only the beeping of monitors from other rooms, and the quiet chatter of night duty nurses, filled the tense air between them as Jason stared at the dark liquid that swirled down into his cup. Yeah, they really needed to talk.

Sometime around midnight Spencer watched Davis's head snap up from drifting to sleep accidentally. She had been trying to fight it for well over an hour now. Her eyes drifting shut, her head lolling to the side, only to snap back over.

"Davis, just sleep for a little bit. It's ok. You're allowed to rest." She shook her head, her voice hoarse from not talking much.

"I'm alright. Thanks though." She stretched her arms and yawned.

"If Blackburn decided to be smart and sleep for a few hours, you should too." Clay's voice was a whisper as they both looked over at Eric's sleeping figure. His lean body was stretched across a chair, his head leaning back against the wall, his legs outstretched across the hardwood floor. Davis was hesitating, not saying no yet.

"You love him, don't you?" Lisa's breath caught in her throat. "What? What did you say?" Clay rose from his chair, leaning his arms across the side bars of Sonny's bed. He still lay there, a sweaty, and unconscious mess. They had adjusted his meds recently and hoped for a change.

"I love Stella, or at least, I believe I do. I feel like I'm losing her Davis. I don't want to lose her, I'll do everything I can to not lose her, but it scared the hell out of her when I took a round to the chest." Davis, unsure of what Clay was getting at, apologized, "I'm so sorry Clay. I didn't know you guys were rocky."

Clay adjusted the blanket on Sonny. "I'd do it all over again, even if we don't end up together. I think I'll always love her." Davis only nodded. "I see the way you look at him. You love him. This has you torn up inside." She went back to shaking her head.

"Spenc, you don't know what you're talking about. The COMS team gets close to all the teams they work with. I love all of you guys as brothers." It was convincing, and a valid point. Clay could see through it though when she finally brought herself to look at Sonny as Clay pointed out the obvious, "He might not make it Lisa. He could pull through and lose his leg a few weeks down the road. He could make it and never operate again. Would you love him if he wasn't on the team?" Tears were streaming down her face as Clay spoke.

"Of course. I'd, I'd love, all, all of you." She shuttered. "That may be true but just don't lose an opportunity. I believe with every fiber of my being that he's going to wake up. I do. I don't know when, but I know he will. Don't waste that. Even if it hurts, even if it messes everything up. I'm telling you Davis, it's worth it." She was nodding furiously and grabbed at Sonny's hand.

"Just open those eyes Sonny Southern Cowboy Quinn." She smiled the slightest bit as the old drunken nickname rolled off her tongue.

"Sleep, Davis. I'll stay awake. If anything happens, I'll wake you. You have my word." After a moment, she nodded and adjusted herself in the chair. If not for herself, she figured she could rest for Clay. He sounded fed up and exhausted beyond his years. It took only a few minutes for her breathing to even out and her to drift into a sound sleep. Clay rose again after a few minutes and laid a blanket over her outstretched torso.

"Alright, Quinn, enough playing around. You gotta wake up." Clay was left with his own thoughts as Eric and Davis slept and Ray and Jason were God only knows talking their crap out. Clay felt incredibly young and inexperienced while at the same time feeling overwhelmingly old. He wished for nothing more than to hug Stella and tell her it would all be ok as long as they were together.

Clay watched as the clock rolled to 13:03. He fought to keep his eyes open and contemplated waking Eric to ask him to switch off with him now. The small movement of Sonny's hands balling into fists caught his attention.

"Sonny?" He hesitantly asked. Sonny's eyes scrunched up, his hands moving sluggishly to his oxygen mask that covered his face, pulling weakly at it.

"No, no, easy man. Sh sh sh." Clay stood over him and gently pulled his hands from his face. Sonny moaned, the pain evidently coursing through his body.

"Blackburn. Hey, wake up." Eric's eyes slowly slid open, taking in Clay gently holding Sonny's hands. He came to the edge of the bed as well.

"Take it easy Sonny. You're alright. Can you hear us?" Sonny's mind struggled to keep up with the words.

"I, I wo, won't ta,talk. No." Eric shook his head, trying to cut through the fever images or dreams or whatever the hell Sonny was muttering about.

"I'll get the doctor, keep him awake, keep him calm." Eric jogged into the hallway. Now, Davis started to awaken.

"Sonny! Thank God! You're awake." He grabbed onto her wrist with a strength that surprised her. Clay let him cling to her, his grip tightening. "Sonny, take it easy, that uh, that hurts." She used her other hand to pull at his arm, "No, no, let her, don't." He wasn't making any sense as he continued with increasing intensity to mutter his lack of cooperation.

"Quinn, let go. Stop, let go." Clay's voice cut through the fever and the drugs for a moment, he released her arm. Davis, not discouraged by any means stayed close by, rubbing absently as her wrist that she was sure would bruise.

A nurse came into the room, Eric in tow. "He's awake?" She seemed surprised.

"Yes, I think he um I think he's dreaming or hallucinating or something. He grabbed onto Davis and wouldn't let go." Sonny rolled to his side. "Yes, his fever is breaking but he can still experience very intense and vivid dreams because of it. Try your best to comfort him. I'm going to get some cooling blankets." She scrambled out of the room. Eric came back to the bed next to Clay.

"Sonny look at me, it's Commander Blackburn. Stand down." Sonny seemed to have a small moment of recognition, "We're here man. It's alright. You're ok." Clay added on, trying to encourage him back to them. Davis leaned over, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Sonny, look, we're here. The team is here. You're in a hospital." The nurse came back in with cooling blankets and despite the intense shivers that started racking his body, the nurse insisted it was good for him.

"Hos, hospital?" His voice was so hoarse, it sounded like sand paper. "Yes, a base hospital. The team pulled you to a mine shaft after the grenade went off. You lost a lot of blood but you're ok." Sonny tried again to pull at his IV. Clay's hands stopped him with gentle strength.

"Don't mess with that. You're a little confused. Just try to relax." All of their heads turned to see Trent, who was suddenly in the room, shaky on his feet but certainly standing there. Clay pulled a chair up for him, but Trent insisted he was fine. Brock stood behind him in the doorway and simply shrugged his shoulders. "He heard the talking and wouldn't stay put."

"You're alright bro, we got you. You just rest. I stitched ya up. You're not captured, you're safe. We're all safe. The whole team is good, sh, go back to sleep and rest. You'll feel a little worse before you feel better." Trent seemed to be the best one to calm him. He knew just what to say to get his movements to seize. As Sonny closed his eyes, the drugs pulling him back under he whispered, "Davis?" She instantly replied, "Yeah Son, I'm here." His eyes fluttered open slightly before closing again, "Good, good you,you're here." She kissed the back of his hand, "Rest Sonny Quinn. Rest."

The doctors came and went then, checking vitals and talking to the team about what they just experienced. They explained that as his fever continued to come down, he would most likely have intense dreams, and maybe even hallucinations. Not to mention he would be weak, nauseous, and hurt like hell from both the wound on his stomach and his leg.

Jason and Ray stood in the hallway both staring anywhere but each other. Finally, it was Ray that broke the deafening silence between them.

"Jace, I'm sorry. I should never have said that you don't deserve the team. I, I know that you're right about my shoulder. I never should have kept it from you. You're right about all of it. The kid that got blown, uh, got killed, he did get in my head." Ray tried to keep himself from continuing, let Jason respond. Force him to say something.

"Why'd you keep it from me Ray? Huh? You say we're brothers. I don't keep shit from you, but you couldn't even come to me as your team leader, or as your friend, or as your brother to tell me you were hurt. Besides that, you were killing yourself with guilt over this and you couldn't tell me. Why?" Now it was Jason's turn to force a response.

"I don't know." Jason shook his head. He wasn't accepting that. "Why? Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Jason, I couldn't face it! I couldn't bear it! I wasn't sleeping. Hell, every time I closed my eyes, I just saw my beautiful kids getting blown to pieces morphing into that little boy. He was a little boy and I killed him. It was my fault. Mine! I couldn't ask someone else to shoulder that. I couldn't admit that to myself how that hell was I supposed to admit it to you that I fucked up! Jason, I fucked up!" Ray was yelling, causing several of the nurses to look over at them.

"Ray." Jason tried to cut him off, but he just continued, "It killed me to keep it from you. It killed me to keep it from Naima and have no one to talk to but Jason I'm BRAVO 2. I'm not supposed to be causing you issues! Not to mention you were trying to hold your family together, get back together with Alana." His voice got quieter, exhaustion seeping into his words, "Everything was falling apart faster than I could try to help you fix it. I couldn't keep up. Then the halo crash and your head happened. Then you wanted nothing to do with me and it was all I could do to not start every morning by downing a bottle of Whiskey. I still don't go a day without thinking of my mistakes. Then Alana d,died, and I didn't know how to help you when I knew you hated me." Jason sharply stopped him.

"I did not hate you Ray. I could not ever hate you. You were with me when both my kids were born. I took Naima to Lamaze classes when you broke your arm on that operation. I helped teach you how to change a diaper. You've carried me home from a night of drinking more times than I can count. I have taken bullets for you and you have taken them for me. I can't hate you Ray. I hate what you did. But I never hated you. I hated that you kept it from me. I did not hate you. I do not hate you. You hate yourself, and that's fine for a little while, then you have to let it go Ray. Let. It. Go. Before it consumes you." Ray's face crumbled before Jason as Jason pulled him in close, pulled his head into his shoulder and let him hate himself. He let Ray cry in the midst of the hospital hallway. He needed to feel this guilt once more before he put it away for good.

"I killed him. I killed him." Jason sank to the ground, for the second time since this operation, he let the sorrow take him down to the ground. This time though, he was the one holding it together.

"It was an accident. It was war." Jason continued to repeat this over and over as they sat next to each other, staring straight ahead. Eventually fading into silence again, tears sliding down Ray's cheeks, Jason's hand on his knee.

Ray suddenly started laughing, bottom of his stomach, hard core laughing.

"What the hell is so funny?" Jason's smile took over his face, "I'm thinking about how pissed Naima was when she came back from Lamaze class with you." They both started laughing, truly laughing.

"She said you were horrible. Didn't know how Alana had two beautiful kids with you." Jason was grasping at his stomach for air, "I don't know either! I never got it down!" Their laughter filled the hallway until Jason's phone buzzed. He stood up with ferocity.

"Get up! Sonny woke up!" With those three words, "Sonny woke up" they both were snapped out of their temporary relief of agony and pain. The agony of waiting, the pain of thinking of all the possibilities.

Would he wake up? Would he be able to operate? Would he lose his leg?

The two men sprinted down the hallway, back around the corner to Sonny's room.

"Ray." Jason stopped short, Ray turning back around to face him. Jason's face held a pain he'd seen only when he found him the hallway of the hospital after Alana's death. It was the face he held when team members died. It was the face he wore when it was so unbearable, so all consuming, that he could no longer keep it internalized. It wasn't often Ray saw it, but he'd seen it so much in the past year it seemed almost familiar.

"What is it Jason?" Ray wasn't sure he wanted to know as they stood outside Sonny's room, the apprehension of going inside palpable.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so hard on you and not listening to you. It was your job to come to me as your team leader but as your team leader and as your friend I should have been there for you. I'm sorry." Jason shook his head, guilt creeping into his eyes. Ray closed the space between them, outstretching his hand for a hand shake.  
"Whatever happens brother." Jason clasped his hand into Ray's, shaking firmly, then pulling him into a hug.

"Whatever happens brother." Jason responded. The two opened the doorway to Sonny's room, finding him unconscious again. Davis looked optimistic but teary eyed. It was something they had hardly ever seen. Eric looked apprehensive, Clay nervous. Sonny's doctor stood in the middle of the room.

"We should talk."

AN: There it is! I really liked this chapter! Sonny has some more issues in the next chapter. I know that I've really drawn out his recovery, but I wanted to make it as realistic as I could with my limited medical knowledge (which is super limited). None the less, I hope ya'll enjoy let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: So I'm very glad that ya'll are enjoying this story! Remember when the first AN said it would probs be like 3 chapters hahah, oh how the turntables. Anywho, in the beginning of the story I continued to write Kairos into the story in a very minimal way bc I thought the show was going to continue to develop his character more and more, but they haven't had him in the last couple of episodes so I'm going to stop writing him into the story, don't kill me. This chapter will be posted after the mid-season finale, so I'll put in the end of the AN what I thought about the fall finale! I'm so excited! I have had some requests to re-whump Clay, so I will try to fill those requests! (I love it too) Enjoy guys and keep the reviews coming, I love reading what you have to say!

"What do you mean you might have to amputate?" Jason was yelling on top of all of the other voices, Clay, Eric, Davis. The doctor simply waited, as if giving them the opportunity to get it all out before he even bothered to continue.

"He was just awake and talking!" Davis looked confusedly from Sonny's face, who was unconscious again in the blissful world of pain meds and sedatives, to the doctor who stood before them now reporting that his infection was spreading.

Trent sat silently in the chair that he had sank down in many minutes ago when he had first come in to find Sonny awake. He knew the doctor was right, knew there were no mistakes, no need to run the labs again.

"Listen to the doctor." Blackburn suddenly shouted, quieting everyone down as quickly as they began.

"Thank you. Well, as I was saying, um, Quinn's infection is not slowing down progression in his body. He will just continue to get sicker, his body will become septic and he will die." The air was still.

"However, if we amputate the leg, the infection will no longer be able to spread to the rest of his body as it's currently wanting to. I believe we will need to make the decision by the morning. If the fever has not completely broken by the morning we will need to amputate."

The doctor was clearly finished speaking but no one had any sort of response to this information. It seemed like a slap in the face.

"I don't understand." Clay spoke up from his standing spot in the back. "He was just awake; his fever had gone down a bit. You said he was back on track." This was all true.

"Yes, I know. That's the tricky thing with infections. Sometimes they seem to be getting better before they really begin to set in. His fever needs to break, the antibiotics need to begin to actually kill the infection. We will have no choice otherwise." The doctor paused, "I'm sorry. This may be his only option." Everyone was silent a beat.

"Let's wait and see then. He has until morning. Maybe it'll break. Let's increase his fluids and continue with aggressive antibiotics and try another transfusion." Trent spoke finally, the whole team turning their attention to him as he sat slumped in the chair. He wasn't looking anywhere but the floor. He knew just as much as the doctor that they were getting to the end of the road. It wasn't enough just to get him to the hospital alive. He could still lose his leg, or not wake up again at all. Clay got up quickly and stormed out of the room. He couldn't bear to stay in those four walls any longer. To stare at Sonny knowing that he was to blame for this. If Sonny had just let him take the blast, hadn't tried to be a hero.

Jason ran a hand through his hair but let out the long breath he had been holding. "Ok, if that's what you think is best then that's what we'll do. We'll give him till the morning." Everyone else seemed to be in agreement. Davis stayed quiet, only continued to hold Sonny's hand as she stared at his face. The doctor adjusted some of his medications and then left the team to process the new information.

Ray slipped out of the room after a few minutes, wanting to go find Clay to ensure the kid was alright. He knew he was taking this all so hard. Who wouldn't, even a seasoned soldier would be struggling with the guilt? Ray knew he certainly was. He found Clay in the barracks, he was staring at his computer screen.

"Hey, how's it going six?" Ray's voice seemed to snap Clay out of a daze. "Fine Ray, just fucking fine." Clay slammed the laptop shut, then took a sharp breath in.

"Of course, yeah you seem really fine." Ray stepped into his cage. "What's going on brother?" Ray sat on the cold floor of the cage, not bothered by it at all.

"Nothing, hell it's nothing. Stella just hasn't been answering." Clay stared at the ground.

"Don't you think it's probably better that way with everything that's been going on? I mean, if you tried to figure out your relationship right now that may just add more stress." Clay sighed and fiddled with his laptop.

"You're probably right. Still, doesn't mean I don't want to hear her voice." Ray sat in silence for a while, simply watching Clay. He noticed the sheen of sweat on his forehead, the way he was breathing out of his mouth as if he had been running, one hand gently massaging his side where his stitches were.

"Clay? Spencer, do you feel alright?" Ray's tone was different now, Clay was having a hard time pinpointing in what way though. Ray was always so on top of everything. Maybe that was why his relationship with Naima worked. They were always on such the same page. She knew him so well and he knew her better than she knew herself. Ray just made everything work.

"Clay!" Ray's shout got his attention. "Yeah, sorry, yeah. I'm fine. Sonny is who we should be focusing on." Ray watched him for another moment. He couldn't pull his glance away from the dark circles under his eyes.

"It's not on you brother. It's not. You have to stop holding this blame." Clay's eyes were closed, he was finally asleep. He made no indication that Ray's voice woke him up. Ray leaned back against the wall, letting the wire of the cage in the barracks dig into his back as he rested his eyes himself.

Ray woke up to Clay muttering, a sheen of sweat across his forehead, and his hand resting on his stomach uncomfortably.

"Clay? Wake up man." Ray closed the gap between them and shook Clay awake. His eyes hazy and unfocused as they scanned Ray's face.

"You sure you feel alright man?" Clay took a long time to respond before finally shaking his head.

"Nah, no I don't. My, my stomach hurts. The stitches." Ray nodded, helping him sit up with a gasp of pain. "Yeah, man. Alright, I got ya. Let's get you to the base hospital. Get you checked out." Surprisingly, Clay didn't fight back. Normally he would have at least attempted to say he was fine but this time he simply stood on shaky legs and began walking, with Ray's firm hands helping to support him as he made his way the short distance from the barracks to the hospital.

It was nearly 01:00 and as they arrived outside of Sonny's room, Ray spotted Trent finally sleeping. Jason and Eric were still awake though and both quickly stood and exited the room at the sight of Clay. Clay was panting, leaning against the wall. His lips were swollen, and he scratched at the rash that was developing on his arms.

"Christ, kid what the hell happened?" Jason put a hand on his shoulder, ducking down slightly to make eye contact with Spence.

"Just, uh, don't feel good. I'm ok. Really." Clay ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Can I uh, sit or, or something." Eric quickly pulled up a chair.

"Sit. Here ya go." Eric helped guide him down before going to find the doctor.

"I'm fine." Clay started to mutter, more to himself than anyone else.

Trent awoke to his teammates talking, hushed but alarmed. He could hear Ray and Jason telling Clay to stay awake, asking him if he felt warm, talking about his pulse. He glanced around noticing their absence before turning, with a slight twinge of pain, to spot them in the hallway. He could see Jason and Ray huddled around Clay but couldn't quite see the kid himself. Trent was out of his chair in a second, walking better than he was earlier in the day, out to the hallway.

Trent had to admit, he felt much better than earlier. Now that his stitches weren't pulling as much, and the pain was under control. He felt like a semi functioning human. Besides, once he had his IV's removed and was able to go to the bathroom himself, he felt considerably better. But, who wouldn't?

"What's going on? Is Spenc ok?" Jason and Ray both turned to Trent's voice. "Hey man, we're getting a doc. You should sit down and go back to sleep." Jason tried to reason with him. He knew Trent, although he may feel better, still needed a considerable amount of rest. With one look at Clay's feverish face though, Trent knew he couldn't leave the kid.

"Shit." Trent squatted down so he was even with Clay. "Clay, look at me, hey. It's Trent." Clay's eyes took a moment to fixate on Trent.

"There ya go, can you tell me what doesn't feel good?" Trent placed two fingers on his wrist and began taking his pulse.

"Hm, hot, and, and shaky, itchy. Hard to breath." Trent nodded along as he spoke. The doctor and a nurse arrived and pushed their way to Clay.

"What happened?" The doctor asked. "I think he's throwing a reaction to something. I need his chart. I need to see everything he's been given since he's been brought in." The nurse quickly got up and ran to go get the chart. The doctor pulled up a blood pressure cuff from his trauma bag he had grabbed. It wasn't too unusual in a base hospital to be treating patients right in the damn hallway, even still, a little weird.

The doctor moved to take Clay's blood pressure, but Spencer pulled his arm away. "M fine." The doctor tried again, "M, I'm, fine. S,stop." Only to have Clay pull away even harder than before.

"I got it. Let me try." Trent held his hand out for the blood pressure cuff expectantly and waited till the doctor handed it to him.

"Clay, knock it off. Let me take your pressure man, your vitals. It's important." Clay looked at him for a moment, his fever riddled mind working hard to keep up, and then nodded, even extending his arm to Trent.

"Good Clay, that's good." Jason chimed in from behind Trent. The nurse came back and handed Trent his chart. Trent's eyes scanned the sheets as quickly as he could. They all had seen Clay banged up before. They knew how protective he got of himself. He didn't want help, especially not from strangers and if you throw in a fever to the mix, well good luck to anyone from outside the team.

"Damn it, damn it. He can't have Penicillin. He throws a reaction. That's the rash and the swelling, the fever too." Trent slammed the chart closed, eliciting a flinch from Clay. Eric placed a hand on his knee, grounding him.

"I'm sorry Trent. I'm sorry. I said no morphine. I forgot the, the uh Pen." Clay's words slurred slightly as he spoke.

"Nah kid, it's alright. You did good. You did really good. I was just out of commission, couldn't tell them myself. Clay, I'm gonna put an IV in, flush you with fluids and an antihistamine to counteract the reaction. Give you about 4 hours and you'll feel good as new, alright? That sound good?" Trent smiled, trying to ease his worries. Clay nodded and held his arm out again for Trent to skillfully insert the needle. Clay allowed himself to be led to the room next to Sonny's. Jason, Ray, Eric, and Trent waited until he blissfully asleep again before exiting the room.

"I want a list of every medication he can throw a reaction to before we go on any more missions." Eric's voice was serious as he stared at Trent. "This could've been prevented had I known what to tell the doctors he's allergic to." Jason nodded along with Eric.

"I should have one too. The whole damned team should probably have the list. This can't happen to the kid. How the hell did it even happen?" Jason was obviously mad, at no one in particular, except probably himself for no good reason.

Trent sighed as he reread the chart, "He spiked a minor fever this morning, so they administered penicillin. Don't beat yourself up. The kid reacts to half the damn meds I carry."

"I know it's hard to see him like that. He'll be fine though. I can get the list of allergies and reactions that we know of so far but to be honest, the kid is like a walking grenade. Anytime I treat him I'm basically hoping and prayin he doesn't react to whatever I have to give him." The three men all nodded, Jason, Ray, and Eric hardly able to tear their eyes away from the youngest member of their team.

After several hours went by, the clock nearing 03:00 the medicine finished its course through Clay's body. The rash was fading and with every passing minute he seemed more and more himself. Jason had sat with him for most of the time, trying to let him rest or distract him from the discomfort. He eventually got up from bed, although a little worn down, he was back to normal. One minor success to an otherwise bad night. They all knew that they were getting close to 06:00 when they would have to decide to amputate Sonny's leg. It was his last chance.

That was until Davis shouted for them from Sonny's room. Hell, it seemed as though no one could catch a damn break, Jason thought to himself as he jogged to Sonny's room. As Jason and Eric entered Sonny's room, they could see his distress. Davis was trying to hold him down, her hands pressed onto his shoulders gently. He was pulling his blankets off and sweat was dripping down his face. His hair was matted to his forehead as he panted.

"Christ, it's, it's hotter than Texa, Texas summer." Sonny's IV pulled out of his arm as he successfully got his blankets off of him. Trent quickly moved into action.

"Sonny, stop man. Stop." He moved forward and began touching monitors, putting pressure on his arm that was now bleeding from the IV. Jason and Eric also stepped in grabbing at his arms.

"Sonny, hey, Quinn, take it easy, easy man. Stop." Jason tried his best to stay calm but seeing Sonny this distressed was difficult. He looked to Trent as Sonny rolled onto his side, clutching at his stomach.

"Trent, what's happening?" Ray asked as he grabbed Sonny's legs. Trent continued to watch his stats, adjusting his IV line.

"His fever is breaking. This is good. Feels like hell but it's good. Probably muscles spasms. Just try to calm him, hold him down." Trent helped pull the blankets off of Sonny's bed if for no reason other than to get Sonny to calm down.

"Sonny! Hey! Stop man!" Trent yelled over Sonny's insistent muttering. Trent grabbed Sonny's hand, effectively pulling it away from disrupting his stitches.

"Trent? Trent, it, hell, it's hot." Trent nodded along with him, "I know man, I know. It's your fever breaking. That's good news man. That's the best news we've gotten so far. You're alright, I know it's disorienting, it's just the fever man. I swear. We got ya." Sonny moved around again, rolling more onto his side despite the various bandages and wires on his leg.

"Hey, hey, easy. Listen, I need to go talk to the doctor. Ray, you find him some ice chips. I'll be right back. You keep taking slow easy breaths. Slow, easy breaths." Sonny nodded and rolled his head back towards the right slowly, trying to take in everyone in the room. His eyes landed on Davis for a moment. He panted through the pain for a few moments.

"Davisss," He drew the word out over several s's. "You're, a, sight, for uh, sore eyes." She smiled, a tear sliding out of both eyes. Sonny's half smile lit up the room, "Nah, no tears. Hell, uh was it that bad?" Davis only laughed more at his ignorance of his own condition.

"Just breathe. Shh Sonny Quinn, it's good to see your eyes open again." She ran a hand through his hair, effectively pushing it back and out of his face. He pulled his uninjured leg up towards his stomach.

"Jesus, why, why're my, my muscles so fricken tight?" He gritted his teeth as Lisa continued to run a hand through his hair, her other hand rubbing a small circle on his shoulder. Trent was in the doorway.

"Slow breaths. I'll be back." He turned to Jason, "Keep him talking. Calm and talking." Trent walked, or more accurately, he limped out to get the doctor and nurses.

Jason came to Sonny's side, he was turned slightly away from Davis, breathing tightly as pain ripped through his body.

"Easy man. Follow my breathing. In and out, in and out." Sonny nodded very slightly at Jason's words. Sonny closed his eyes tightly. It felt as though all the muscles in his back were ropes being pulled and stretched despite the fact that they were tight as could be.

Jason looked uneasily between Eric and Ray who both mirrored his slightly awestruck expression. His eyes briefly landed on Clay who was standing motionless in the corner, his crook of his arm still sporting an IV, and his face pale as a sheet. Jason wasn't sure if it was from the allergic reaction, or watching Sonny barely hold it together through the pain. Either way, he couldn't be concerned with it right now.

Trent came back in with several doctors in tow. Jason stepped back, attempting to give them the space he needed to work. With his absence though, Sonny grew agitated. These were strangers to him, not the same people that had been keeping him alive for the past several days. Not the men and women who had tirelessly been pouring over his scans and bloodwork tracking the progress of his infection. No, these were strangers and Sonny wasn't having it. His hand went from curled up in a tight fist in his bed sheet to grasping at Trent, at Davis, hell even Eric. Whoever was close enough to reach towards. The fever had been messing with him, causing nightmares and altering what he had been hearing over the past few days of unconsciousness. He was scared shitless.

Trent, being the best damned medic that he is, came down towards Sonny. He knew how intense the dreams could get during a high infection fever, he knew Sonny could've been hallucinating while he had been in and out of light consciousness. The guy was practically fearless, but he had never met a man who wasn't afraid of his mind. Trent had seen this look before on soldiers, the look of needing someone, anyone, they knew to be with them. He needed a brother.

"You're good man. They gotta get some of your stats and they're going to give you a muscle relaxer. It'll help with the cramping and the spasms. We got you." Sonny's eyes still darted around, "I got you." Trent wasn't sure how much Sonny remembered. He didn't know if he remembered how close he came to meeting his maker. Or if her remembered Clay holding all the tears inside until the hospital, if he remembers feeling his fingers dig through his leg. He hoped to God he didn't remember when he was maxed out on Morphine and Trent had to continue to debride his laceration on his stomach. Or when Clay had to reach for his artery, tighten his grip as Trent screamed at him in the helicopter. He wasn't sure if he would remember the look on Jason's face. The look that let everyone know he was letting Sonny go, he could no longer handle the defeat of losing someone without letting them go. He wished that he could be for sure he wouldn't have nightmares about that mine shaft for years to come.

Sonny nodded his head at Trent, his teeth chattered once. The doctors all did their jobs, pushing meds and then finally addressing the room.

"We need to examine his leg, could we have the room please?" It was the main army doctor that had been treating Sonny. Keeping him alive.

"Th,they can st,stay." Sonny's voice was weak, but his southern drawl was still there. Jason was still standing near Sonny's head and gave his shoulder a quick squeeze, as if to remind him they weren't going anywhere.

The doctor nodded as Sonny's statement and nodded, "Alright Lieutenant Quinn, the team can stay then." He added a smile at the end.

"C,call me Sonny." He rasped out. Davis offered him an ice chip, which embarrassing as it was to be spoon fed by your COMS agent, it was so damn good.

"Ok, Sonny, well I'm going to exam your leg and clean up around the stitches a little bit. Then you can rest a while. In the morning we will probably get some more scans and run more bloodwork to ensure we don't need to amputate. The fever breaking is a great move in the right direction though. We're optimistic." The doctor removed the sheet from Sonny's leg more as he spoke.

Ray watched as Sonny absorbed the words. Amputate. Remove his leg. No more leg. Amputate. No more SEALS. No more walking. No leg. Sonny's eyes moved to the tubing and wires that were attached to his leg. Some were monitoring the pulses in various parts of his leg, others holding his leg together. Everything below the mid part of his thigh was black and blue, it looked dead. A useless appendage. It was shocking and difficult to look at, but it was as if the team couldn't look away.

"My, my leg. The hell happened? Christ, my, my leg." Sonny pulled his head up from his pillows, straining against the weight of his own body.

"My leg." Davis shh'd him, trying to calm him. Trent tried too. He grabbed his hands, trying to keep him from dislodging the tubes and telling him just as much.

"No, don't touch that Son, no." Everyone's tones were hushed, as if Sonny's anguish was a quiet thing, something to whisper about. It was Lisa who cut through the panic though. She was the one who managed to tear his eyes away from the black and dead looking limb on his body, the limb with tubes draining blood, the limb with blood transfusions in and out of it.

"Sonny Quinn look at me," She grabbed him by his chin, guiding his head to look at her, "It's ok. You have to trust your team. We have it. Trust your doc, trust Trent, trust Jason, trust Blackburn, trust them. Trust me. We got you. I got you. The team has you." Her words rushed out of her before she even registered what she was saying. It was probably too much while all the same being not enough. As she waited for a response from Sonny, she realized the whole team was staring at her as she still held Sonny's face. His hands had seized their offensive movements towards his leg. The doctors waited, almost afraid to move towards his leg again.

"I trust you." It was all Sonny had to say for them to all seem to finally take a deep breath. The doctors nodded and Davis released his face from her light grasp and nodded back at him. He stared at her beautiful face while they poked and prodded at his leg.

"Well Sonny, I finally have some good news for you and for your team. At this point I don't think we'll be needing to amputate. I'm not sure how much function you'll be able to regain, but I think at this point we should be celebrating the fact that you're able to keep your leg and your life. For a while we weren't sure if both was an option." The doctor put a grim smile on his face as he recovered Sonny's leg and wrote on his chart.

"So, what's that mean? I might not be able to get back with the guys quickly?" Sonny's voice was stronger now, he wasn't so stumbly over his words, but it was still strained as he spoke.

The doctor put Sonny's chart down on the small table and turned his focus to Sonny. "You might not be back on the team operating at all." The room fell silent.

"What the hell you mean? Never?" Sonny was obviously upset, he couldn't move much with his leg being so immobilized and his lack of strength but that didn't stop him from trying.

"You have to understand Lieutenant Quinn, Sonny, you had field surgery after your femoral artery was punctured by a pipe piece of shrapnel. It was then held with clamps for an hour before blowing clamps, losing an extreme amount of blood, and then being clamped with human fingers for the remainder of the operation. By the time you made it to the hospital it was a miracle we didn't have to amputate right away, let alone that you survived. You should focus on the fact that you get to keep your leg and keep your life. Once you get back home to the states you can worry about getting back to the team. I'm sorry it's not better news, or the news you were hoping for but it's still fantastic news. Your medic and your team did an amazing job keeping you alive." The doctor was cut and dry with his words. He never stopped long enough to give Sonny a chance to interject his anger towards the situation or his questions of what the hell happened. It was clear as day on his face that he was more confused now than before.

"Someone tell me what the hell happened." Now that the doctor was gone the room was still crowded with Eric, Mandy, Davis, Ray, Brock, Trent, Clay, and Jason. There was silence at first before Blackburn cleared his throat.

"Mandy, Davis, let's give them a chance to catch up. We can go get some food for everyone and uh coffee." Mandy nodded before pushing off from the doorway and making her way to Sonny's bed, "Good to see your badass awake." She playfully punched him on the shoulder, as lightly as she could and chuckled as he winked at her.

"Anything for you miss Mandy." Eric came up next and was simple with his words, "We'll talk later." Eric had a lot he wanted to tell him and certainly wanted a little more privacy to do it. Now was not the time. Right now, he needed his brothers.

"Yes sir." Sonny's voice cracked, his exhaustion and pain creeping back into his voice as Lisa stood up from the chair.

"I'll be back ok? I uh, yeah, I'm really glad you're ok Sonny. You had us worried." She hadn't let go of his hand from the time he woke up practically.

"Sorry darlin'" When he spoke to her his growl in his voice intensified, even more so with the sleepiness that laced every word at the moment. She loved it.

With one final look back at Sonny she left the room following Mandy and Eric. She knew that Blackburn was right, they all needed to talk and let Sonny know what exactly happened in that mine shaft. He needed to know at least some of the events that transpired. That didn't mean that she had to like leaving him. She trusted the guys of course. Over all over them she trusted Trent to be monitoring him. It was more of his mental state that she was worried about.

In the hallway Blackburn turned to her, "Davis are you alright? I know you and Sonny are close." Mandy did her best to keep her face neutral, to avoid making it obvious that the past few days have proven to her that she has been denying feelings towards Sonny.

"Yes sir. Of course, I just want the whole team to make a full recovery." Lisa's words didn't sound forced, they were true. She did want that.

"Davis, I just, you should know that Sonny needs you. Your friendship is very important to him and no matter what happens once we get home, he'll need you." Eric's words nearly choked her up.

"Of course, sir." She nodded to him before turning to go to the cafeteria, she has seen Mandy go that direction and needed to be with someone who wasn't her superior and not a male. She had enough of that.

Back in Sonny's hospital room the team sat in silence for a moment. The tension was palpable. Sonny laid there expectantly.

"Man, we should do this after you rest a bit." Ray tried first, trying to level with him that he should get more rest before they start getting into the deep shit. Sonny wouldn't do that, and they all knew it.

Sonny shook his head and glared at Jason, "What happened?" He repeated himself but his voice still sounded weak and strained.

"What do you remember?" Trent spoke up and began to take charge of the conversation. There was a pause before Sonny responded, he closed his eyes a beat before staring at the ceiling tiles for a second.

"We, we were going to Exfil… that kid he just he just came out of, of nowhere. With a damned grenade. I, I was with, with Clay." Sonny's eyes suddenly snapped to Jason. "Where's Clay? Is he, is he ok? Where's the kid?" There was panic in his voice, anguish and panic. The team was familiar with this tone. It seemed to be the only tone they were capable of holding the past few days with all of this terrifying drama.

Clay was instantly up and out of his chair, pushing out from his position practically hiding in the corner. He was still pulling his IV pole with him, but he emerged from behind Brock and Ray.

"He's good, easy." Those were the only words Jason muttered as Clay came into view.

"I'm alright man. I'm alright." Spencer took in Sonny with his eyes finally open and his breathing finally at his own accord. "You, you saved my life." Somewhere in Clay's chest he was aching to scream at Sonny. To demand to know why he thought Clay was worth saving. Why would he ever get on top of him like that, cover his body with his own, take the blast. He knew he couldn't right now though. Maybe not ever. He could internalize that, he could hold that inside.

"You don't look ok? What happened?" Sonny was still visibly upset. Trent intervened again, "He threw a reaction to a medication. He's alright, I swear to you Quinn, he's alright. Just keep talking about what you remember. We can fill in the gaps."

Sonny seemed to take a deep breath as if preparing himself for the inevitability of having to put himself back into the memory.

"I, uh, I remember coming around and Clay was, was there. He was yelling in the COMS. I thought, I thought maybe I was dying. I remember Jas and, and Trent all in my face. Kept telling me I had to move. You all uh, um, got me to my feet and we, we made it to the, the shaft. I, I was so cold and, and so tired." Sonny paused and closed his eyes. The memories assaulting his mind. Jason squeezed his hand.

"I, I remember everyone screaming, COMS were crazy, Jason wouldn't, wouldn't stop staring at me. Ray was, was yelling to stay awake. Pain, just, just pain. Trent was, was ripping open my thigh and, and trying to stop the bleeding. All I remember is pain and the yelling of my team."

Trent's hands were bound in tight fist.

Ray looked at the ground, his hands clasped.

Brock turned away from Sonny.

Clay was transfixed on Sonny's face, unable to look away no matter how much he wanted.

Jason just stayed where he was, staring at the tubes sprouting from Sonny's thigh.

"Next thing I know, Trent's screaming that he got the bleeding under control. I, I Jason looked relieved. After that, uh, hm, things get blurry. I think I, I was passing in and out. The bleeding, it, it started again right?" There was a nod from Ray.

"I just remember feeling so cold, I wanted, I wanted to say goodbye to the team. I, I remember Jason screaming at me to, to stay with everyone, not to, to give up. So much yelling. I uh, I lost feeling in my leg and then I started losing feeling in my arms and I, I knew I was going."

A tear fell from Sonny's eye. It was the first time he had cried, even the slightest bit, in a very long time. Probably the first time the team had ever seen him cry.

"After, uh, after that I don't remember anything until the helicopter. Then I just, I just remember Clay." With those words Spencer got up and pushed out of his chair again. His face was pale, and his movements ragged and messy. The body language of a man utterly lost and terrified.

"After a little bit though I just remember Trent giving docs directions and, and stats. Clay was, he was talking. Wouldn't stop. Then the, the hospital. No one would stop, stop touching me. Then I felt this absence. Then there was nothing but pain for a long time."

The room was silent for a while.

"What'd I miss?" Sonny asked after a few moments of catching his breath and letting everything sink in to his teammates.

"Not much." Brock spoke up from his crossed arms in the back.

"Why, why was Clay with us in the chopper. Why was he in the hospital." There was a silence that fell across the room yet again. It was like this cloak of darkness that was approaching. Do they tell Sonny that the kid had to hold his artery for hours? That he felt his pulse fading, that he had so much blood on him by the end of it all that the smell practically assaulted the chopper pilots. How do they tell him the way he ran his hands over his face and through his hair tracking blood everywhere because he no longer cared? How can they even detail the look in Clay's eyes as he would sit for hours thinking about Sonny's sacrifice? How do they explain to him that he had a panic attack for nearly an hour at the thought that the man who saved his life could be dead all because he didn't grab the artery soon enough, or hold hard enough, or Christ held it too hard? How do you say that to a man who nearly died and may never operate in the armed forces ever again. That didn't seem like their place. It seemed like it should be Clay. It should be Clay who explains that he saved Sonny's life. Yet, he scrambled out of the room at the first words about the chopper.

"Trent?" Sonny pressed, "You were there too. Why was Clay there. What happened?" Trent stood and occupied his hands by lifting the edge of Sonny's gown to stare at his stomach laceration. Whether or not he was actually examining the wound of simply trying to buy time to give Sonny an answer, Jason didn't know. All he knew was that Trent needed a break, he needed to sleep, and he needed to eat, and for a few hours the guy deserved to not feel like he was keeping everyone alive. That was a huge weight to carry.

"Trent, I swear, I'll kick your city ass if you don't, don't talk to me." Sonny huffed with as much intimidation as he could but in the end, it came out weak and breathless.

"He held your artery Sonny. He kept you alive. You saved his life and then his only option was to literally feel you drift away. He's been pretty shaken up. He, uh, he feels pretty responsible for, well, for everything. He was in the chopper because he was the only thing keeping you from bleeding out. He was in the trauma bay because he was still keeping you from bleeding out. The screaming was me screaming at him to keep holding. No matter what, do not let go. I said it over and over. I couldn't say it enough. He felt you letting go, he felt your pulse fading. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He was powerless while at the same time the only one of any of us that was able to do anything even remotely helpful. All because you covered his body with your own. It uh, it shook him up mentally."

Sonny brought a shaky hand up to his face. "Well shit. What the hell else did I miss?" Sonny's eyes sagged close for a second, his heart rate elevating for a second.

"Not much man. We were all a little banged up but all in all we're all doing just fine. You don't need to worry about anything besides getting better." Jason was still sitting right next to Sonny, watching him like a hawk. Sonny nodded, the tiredness taking over more and more with each passing moment. He would drift asleep for a few seconds listening to the guys talk and fill him in on trivial details, things that were meant to keep his mind occupied. Finally, Brock noticed the insistent head bobs of Sonny fighting sleep and stood up.

"Alright, you get some rest. We'll all be around, in and out." Everyone followed Brocks' lead, standing and stretching their sore bodies from the plastic chairs. Jason stayed behind.

"I'll stay with him for the few couple hours, you guys go eat and sleep." Jason's own stomach was rumbling, he was starving as the clock ticked closer to noon. He hadn't gotten breakfast. Right now, he hardly could care. One of his men, one of his brothers, had just been told he may never walk again, could never operate again, that one of his teammates had to hold his artery with his own damn hand. He knew his mind would be reeling. It didn't matter how tough and hardened Sonny was. This would wear on anyone's sanity.

So, Jason sat, and he waited, and he watched Sonny sleep for almost an hour. His body stuck in an uncomfortable chair but his mind everywhere else. Eventually, Sonny woke up with a twinge of pain that was just too sharp to groan through in his sleep as he had been before. His eyes came open, weary and confused like they had earlier. The drugs, although they had been weaned off per Sonny's request, were still keeping him a little foggy.

Jason stood up, making himself seen in front of Sonny's eyes.

"You're alright man. You're in the hospital. You good? You with me?" Jason spoke slowly and rubbed a hand up and down his arm, moving skillfully around the IV. He just wanted to keep him grounded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm with ya." His voice was hoarse as he spoke. Jason grabbed the ice chips spooning a few into his mouth. Jason waited until the ice melted in his voice, Sonny letting out a small sigh.

"How's the pain? You need me to get the doc?" Jason's eyes hovered over Sonny's every uncomfortable attempt reposition himself in some weak attempt that it would lessen the pain. There was a shake of the head though.

"Jace?" Sonny's southern drawl cut through Jason's thoughts, "I uh, do I remember correct that you um I said goodbye. You turned COMS on." Jason took a sharp inhale in. Shit, he was remembering things Jason certainly didn't want to talk about.

"Yeah man, I'm, I just couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye to anyone you wanted to. Eric and Mandy and uh Davis they could all hear. But then the Exfil was arriving and I knew we'd get you out of there. I just I had to try to keep you around." Jason squeezed Sonny's hand, it was something he found himself doing a lot these days.

"Thank you, brother. You're, you're the best damned Commander I've, I've ever served. When I, I was trying to, to hang on, I just kept, I just kept thinking of how you, you were faking it. You, you're not ok. Not, not after everything. I couldn't, couldn't let go. I knew I'd break, break you." Sonny's eyes were closed as he spoke, he pressed his morphine release button with shaky hands. "I, I couldn't be the, the one to break you."

Jason took the time where there weren't eyes on him to furiously scrub at his own. The tiredness and the dryness of the hospital making them tear up.

"You're a tough son of a bitch Sonny. You're one of the toughest operators I've ever worked with. There's a reason after seeing you train just one time, I knew I needed you on the team. You're right man, I wasn't, I wasn't right in the head but with all of this, uh, I've worked some shit out. I'm good. You don't need to worry." Jason helped him with the ice again as Sonny tried desperately to do it himself before failing miserably.

"Me? Worry about you?" Sonny let out a pshhh sound, "Never. Jason Hayes is unbreakable." Sonny drew out his words, the sarcasm dripping with everyone. Normally, Sonny wouldn't make that kind of jab, but the two men were speaking as candidly as they ever did, and sleepiness had a way of making him loose lipped. Sonny had entrusted Jason with his life, had allowed him to convince him to hold on.

Jason chuckled at Sonny's comment, Sonny allowing a small smile to creep across his face. His eyes were still closed lightly as he tried to fight the sleepiness that was creeping into every bone in his body.

"You sleep, man. You've earned it." Jason reminded him.

"You too Jace. Take care of yourself." With that, Jason allowed himself to fall into a light sleep, never leaving Sonny's side, but still allowing his body and mind some rest.

AN: ok so I'm super sorry that this chapter took so long. It took so long for a couple of reasons. The main reason was finals! I actually had most of this chapter written before finals and then finals hit and I completely stopped writing it! Then after finals, I was a total vegetable and didn't write at all or read or do anything requiring brain power lol. Then the holidays came and my family was in town and I didn't have much time to write. Once my family left it took me a few days to get in the groove of things again and finish this up! That being said, once I go back to school I should be able to write more because I'll have more of a definitive schedule so hang with me while I procrastinate all the time lmao. I'm very excited for the new episode of Seal Team tonight! I think that the mid season finale thingy was pretty gooooddd. I wanna see the aftermath of all of that good stuff! OK, I'll stop rambling now but please review and tell me what you think! I expect at least one more chapter of them in the hospital overseas and then I'm going to do a slight time hop and have some aftermath with Sonny as well!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Hellooo everyone! Here we go again! Ok, so last night's episode (spoilers for ep on date 1/2/2019) was reallyyyyy good in my opinion. We got Clay sad and distressed, we got Papa Ray being all "talk to me brother", We got Jason all protective over his kids, we got Sonny and Davis all OVER the place! What more can we ask for? I hope it continues like this! As for this story, I know in the past I've said that I'm going to keep Stella and Clay together but I'm not sure, as of right now in this story they are still together but rocky. I'm going to try to provide some clarity on their situation throughout this chapter and maybe give some flashbacks with them too! Also, I'm aware that I've been messing up the officer rankings. Of course, portraying these characters and these real-life positions with the absolute most respect that they deserve is important to me. However, I am human and have made a few errors with the rankings. I apologize and I'm going to work hard to keep Jason as Master Chief and Blackburn as Lieutenant Commander. If anyone knows the proper title for the other team guys, please let me know! I hope ya'll enjoy and hopefully I can get this chapter up before next week's ep. If not… the end AN will include my thoughts on next weeks ep! Review and share your thoughts!

Ray strode up through the hospital corridor. His legs stopped as he spotted the youngest member of their team. He was now unattached to his IV that he had been sporting earlier in the night. "What time is it anyway?" Ray wondered to himself.

Clay had turned a chair around to be able to look in through the small window of Sonny's room, he was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, the hood up and his arms crossed over his chest tightly. He looked wound up and defeated at the same time. Ray forced himself forward again, taking in the dark circles under Clay's eyes, the way his leg bounced anxiously, and the desperation in his eyes as he looked up at Ray. His approach was obviously not all that welcomed. Ray knew the kid was only pushing him and everyone else away as a coping mechanism. He didn't think he deserved help, or that he needed help. Both were wildly untrue.

Ray stood there a moment just letting Clay look at him. Neither of them broke eye contact or the silence.

"What is it Ray? Here for another pep talk?" The sharpness in Clay's tone kind of ticked Ray off. He had just hauled this kid to the hospital a few hours ago, had been nothing but understanding.

"I brought you a muffin from the hall. A cup of coffee too. You look like shit." Ray kept his voice as neutral as he could but as he spoke, he could hear himself that he sounded angry and annoyed.

Clay nodded, "I'm not hungry." Clay glared at Ray from under the hood of his sweatshirt.

"Fine." Ray was short and now visibly angry, "I try man, I tried earlier, I tried again now, I've tried and tried to help. If you don't want it then fine."

Clay snickered, "I don't need help, man. I'm fine." Everything about him screamed, "I'm not fine, I need help, please, someone help me." Even still, the man before Ray sat there denying anything was wrong, he needed no help, needed no support. You could lead a horse to water but can't make them drink.

Ray tossed the muffin at Clay, letting it bounce around his lap before Clay moved to grab it and put it silently on the table next to him where Ray had more gently put the cup of coffee.

"Yeah, you sure seem fine." Ray turned to walk away and into Sonny's room, wanting to relieve Jason for a few hours so he could get some solid sleep, food, and a shower. More than anything he wanted away from Clay at this point. He loved the kid and would do anything for his brother but, right now he needed a break.

"Eat the damn muffin. It's that sugary crap you love. Eat the damn muffin." Ray yelled over his shoulder as he opened the door to Sonny's room, closing it softly behind him.

Jason woke at the sound of the door closing. His eyes roamed Sonny first, taking in his sleeping figure. Good, still doing alright, Jason silently checked it off in his head. Still breathing, not writhing in pain, still pumping blood through his veins. All was in order. Jason then turned to Ray, standing and stretching.

"How's he doing?" Ray motioned to Sonny before offering his other muffin to Jason. Unlike Clay, Jason quickly grabbed the muffin, tearing open the tin and taking a huge bite. He muttered words of thanks.

"He's hangin in there. He's been a little restless and every time he wakes up, he says he's nauseous as hell. Hasn't gotten sick yet though so that's good. Trent say's it's pretty normal with how high his fever was and the type of meds they have him on. He's been sleeping well for about an hour now. I think he has a nurse check in like an hour. Hell, what time is it?" Jason pulled his sleeve up looking at his watch, "0435, yeah they're coming at 0500." The two men were silent for a moment, just taking in the whole night.

"What an op man." Jason spit the words out into the space between them and let them hang there.

"A hell of an op. All for a few recon scouting points." They both stayed silent for a moment.

"Jace, the kid's not doing well. He's talkin outta line, he's exhausted, he's hardly eating, he's killin himself with guilt and I don't think he and Stella are doing well at all right now. That only makes matters worse." Jason sighed deeply and leaned back in the plastic causing it to crack under his weight slightly. Ray watched as Jason then leaned forward, taking another bite of his muffin and running a hand through his hair.

"I know Ray. I just, I hardly know what to say to him. I'm not sure how much I can help him. Of course, I'll try I just, I can't fix his relationship and I can't make him stop blaming himself." Jason paused, "It's not my fault that he feels responsible that Sonny could never be a tier 1 operator again. That's not on him but there's nothing any of us can do to convince him otherwise."

Sonny groaned and opened his eyes, "Clay blames himself?" His voice was incredibly hoarse from sleeping and the anesthesia and drugs still in his system.

"Nah, don't worry about that man. I didn't realize you were waking up." Jason tried to change the subject, not let him dwell on Clay. The last thing Sonny needed to think about was Clay and his emotional health.

"Why, why does he blame himself? Ya'll can't, can't keep me in the dark." Sonny reached for the glass of water on the desk next to his bed, his hand shaking the whole time. Both men let him struggle, trying to regain some of his dignity. He could grab a damn cup of water himself. He brought it up to his mouth, the straw finding his mouth before sucking in two giant gulps.

"Slow down. Small sips, remember?" Ray's voice stopped his aggressive intake of the water. Sonny moved to put the cup back on the table but was already fatigued. His frustration was showing as Jason moved to help him.

"I got it! Damn it! I don't need ya'lls help." Although he couldn't really raise his voice, they could hear the anger in it. It wasn't anger towards them necessarily, and they both knew it. He was frustrated at his weakness and his incapability at the moment.

"Someone tell me what the hell is up with boy wonder." His voice wasn't angry anymore, in fact he seemed exhausted. They both knew he was.

With a small sigh of defeat Jason started talking, "He blames himself. He thinks that it's all on him since you covered him. He feels responsible." Jason hoped Sonny would accept that as the short answer and leave it alone, but he kept pushing.

"That's a choice I made. He'd recognize that." Sonny, even with the drugs in his system and the hardened exterior that gave the impression to everyone around him that he couldn't give a shit about what you're feeling, he was incredibly perceptive.

"Brother, he held your artery in his hand trying to keep you from bleeding out. He could feel you fading after you saved his life. It's been tough on him thinking about all of that. Traumatic shit. He feels responsible for whatever the outcome of this is. He'll always feel like he could've done more. Could've saved you more. Not to mention he doesn't have his head on straight because he and Stella are on the fritz." Ray had taken over the little explanation on the fall of Clay Spencer.

"He and Stel having problems? I knew they were a little rocky before he left." Jason nodded, "It's been a lot for the kid." Although Jace wanted nothing more than to move on and stop talking about the kid for Sonny's sake, he knew he couldn't. "Don't worry man, we'll get him good and straight. He'll be ok." Jason wasn't overly reassuring because he knew that Sonny would detect the bullshit from a mile away. In all honesty, Jason had never seen Clay look like this before. The kid looked like a disaster. He tried telling himself that it would be better once they got home. Everything would be ok once the plane took off and landed back in the U S of A. That would fix him. Right?

There was a light knock on the door, "Hi, I'm Nicole. I'm the nurse this morning. I'm here for your morning rounds ok?" Sonny's eyes perked up, not at Nicole, who was indeed very pretty, but at Davis walking in behind her.

Ray and Jason both shook her hand. "I'm going to go check on Spenc, give you some space. It was nice meeting you Nicole, you let me know if the ol southern bell starts giving you hell." Jasoan said with a chuckle and a finger point at Sonny.

"Me? Nothin but a. gentleman." Sonny attempted to keep his tone light and funny but choked over the words. Nicole came closer to his bed reminding him to breathe easy.

"Do you want some privacy, or can your friends stay?" Nicole seemed sweet as she quickly wrote down all of his vitals and stats from his various monitors. Davis had taken a seat in the chair on Sonny's left side and Ray was standing, arms crossed over his chest, at the end of Sonny's bed. He could practically see the energy that was draining from Sonny's face over the past few minutes of their conversation. There was a light sweat that had broken out across his forehead. None of this was missed by Davis either.

"No, it's, it's alright. They can stay." Sonny's voice was quieter and more hoarse again, "How're ya miss Davis?" His head turned to her as the nurse lifted up Sonny's gown and changed the dressing on his stomach lacerations.

"I'm good. How is the world's most obnoxious patient?" She smiled at him, her eyes lit up and warmed his heart in the process. He grimaced as Nicole poked at him.

"Sorry, just have to check these incisions." She sounded genuinely sorry for hurting him as he grimaced again and grunted in pain. He turned back to Lisa.

"Distract me." He practically grounded out the words. She nodded, grabbing at his hand.

"Brock had Cerberus all worked up this morning. She has hardly been worked at all the past couple days, so he took her out for a light work session this morning. You should've seen her she-" Davis was cut off by Sonny's sudden burst of expletives.

"Shit, Shit, Damn it! Christ that hurts!" Sonny balled up a fist in the sheet of his bed. Ray was now on the other side of Sonny.

"I'm done now. I'm done. I shouldn't have to debride your surgery incisions from your leg for a few more hours. We're just trying to continue to monitor the infection carefully. Try to take deep breathes." Sonny nodded but in his head was trying to breathe through the pain and the nausea ripping through his body.

"Dizzy." It was all he could manage to say as he lay there, practically clawing at the bed. He opened his eyes, which had been screwed shut to see Davis's nervous face. She was still holding his hand and rubbing his shoulder with the other one. The comfort was nice, but he could feel the bile coming and wanted none of these young women to see him lose his meals.

"Ya'll should g,go. Please." The way he said please, as if he was begging her to go, practically brought tears to her eyes.

"I'm here Sonny. It's alright. I can stay." Davis was trying to be loyal, respectful but also sticking by his side even if he was about to not look so good.

"Go please. Leave." Sonny let go of her hand. "Ray." Just his name was all it took for Ray to understand. He wanted everyone else out. He wanted the hot nurse and the girl of his dreams that he couldn't have, out of this hospital room.

"I'm gonna be sick." His words all slurred together in a sentence of misery as he groped his stomach weakly with hands. Ray had grabbed the basin off his bedside drawer and helped to lean him forward. Lisa still had not moved from her spot.

"I can go if you want privacy. Just hit the nurse call button if you need anything, seriously. I'll be right down the hall." Nicole seemed to get the message loud and clear. Big strong team guy didn't want anyone who didn't need to see him throw his guts up. If it were up to him, he'd probably be in here by himself but hell, he'd probably keel over off the bed.

"Ma'am, maybe you should join me." Nicole tried gently to help Sonny out. "No, thank you. I'll stay." Sonny's hurling interrupting her words. Nicole hesitated but then silently left the room.

"Shit, I'm s,sorry Ra,ray." His voice was shaky as he tried to speak through the small rest of his stomach.

"No worries man. No worries." The heaving started up again, this time nothing was coming up but that didn't make it any less painful. Sonny alternated between gasping for air and cursing through the pain.

"Davis. Get. Out." His words were cut off by him beginning to gag again, his body revolting from the fever and meds. Ray looked from his brother who so desperately did not want to have Lisa seeing him like this, to Davis who just wanted to help him in way she could. In her eyes he didn't look like the shell of a man I'm sure he felt like at the time. She didn't see the sweat or the shaking or the way Ray's shoulder was practically holding him up while also holding the basin because his own body was too weak and confused. She only saw a man that she knew she couldn't allow herself to fall in love with. She was a little afraid she was too late.

Ray looked up at her, "Davis, I'll get you in a bit. Go." He nodded towards the door. "I got him. Let Trent know he's not feelin great. We're good." Davis hesitated but then got up, giving Sonny one last squeeze before leaving them alone. Sonny seemed to be done for a moment and Ray offered him the cup of water from his table.

"You good bro?" Ray knew the answer should be hell no, but he had to ask anyway.

"Feel like shit man." The fact that Sonny was actually admitting it was all he needed to hear to know that he was in bad shape. Ray emptied the basin while he could, having a feeling that Sonny's body was not done with its episode.

Ray placed a brotherly hand on top of Sonny's head, carefully combing through his hair. In any other situation Ray would've been endlessly harassed for such a gesture. Right now, though, it was all Sonny could focus on as his body trembled with pain and discomfort.

The door to Sonny's room opened quietly and Trent pushed his long hair back as he walked in. He looked a hell of a lot better than he had a few hours ago. He must have actually slept and showered. It's amazing what sleep can do for a guy after he collapses from blood loss.

Sonny hardly looked up as his head hung, his mouth hanging open over the basin. He was trying his best to breathe through the nausea again, but he could feel it building back up. Ray was still using a hand to help hold Sonny up, knowing damn well even if he had the strength to hold himself up it'd hurt like hell. He looked up to Trent, nodding to him with a look on his face that said it all, "Help the poor guy."

"Hear ya not feeling too hot Quinn." Trent pulled on a pair of gloves, "Kickin that nurses out. Ya know they're here to help ya idiot." Trent's ribs were light hearted.

"They d,don't need t,to see that." Sonny's breaths caught in his throat like a strangulation victim. Trent couldn't say he agreed with the man, but he understood his need to regain some dignity, some control over the situation.

"Well, lucky for you, I have privileges to treat you in this hospital and now that I'm off my pain medications I can help ya out." Trent was on the side opposite of Ray and motioned to Ray to help set him back against the bed.

"Move your hand bro. I gotta see." Sonny clumsily moved his fingers from their home on his torso, covering and protecting as much as they could the stiches and wound on his stomach. Blood had seeped through the gown Sonny was angrily wearing.

"Damn, you blew your stitches with all the hurling. Nice going." Trent's sarcasm pulled a smile from Ray and should've pulled one from Sonny but all he grumbled out was a weak, "Sorry." Trent and Ray exchanged a look.

"I'm only messing with ya bro." Trent reassured him as he pulled the gown up preparing to examine the wound when Sonny leaned forward again, spitting and sputtering as his stomach brought up acid and water. It was all he had left. His eyes looked fearfully at the blood that was coming at a more rapid pace from the wound on his stomach. Each breath was getting more and more like gasps.

"Deep breaths Sonny. Nice and easy, breathe through it. You gotta breath." It seemed like he was heaving so hard he could hardly get a breath in before the next wave of nausea would hit. Ray looked to Trent, "How can I help?" Trent's hands were busy holding light pressure on the stomach wound of Sonny's. It wasn't as if he was going to bleed out, but he certainly didn't need much more blood loss. Not to mention it seemed to be seriously freaking Sonny out.

"Just keep him upright, he's gotta ride this out. The anti-nausea medicine I gave him should be kicking in soon. Just hang tight Sonny." There wasn't a response from Sonny, but they knew he was with em.

After a few minutes Sonny finally seemed to be done hurling his guts up. His breathing was still coming in short gasps. Ray continued to hold onto his shoulder, although now he was leaning back against the bed so although it was not needed, Sonny felt better having someone hangin onto him.

"You keep trying to slow that breathing down Sonny. I'm going to start numbing your stomach area to stitch you back up ok? You just breathe. In and out." Trent didn't love having to coach someone through breathing, but he would if he had to. It seemed like today he'd have to.

Trent continued to numb the area around Sonny's stomach, purposefully taking his time. He was trying to give him a few minutes to get his bearings again before he started stitching him up. Trent looked up at Ray and the tired look he wore on his face. He was helping Sonny get a small sip of water.

"Ya know Ray, I can handle this now. How about you go let Davis know that I'll notify her when I'm finished up. You go make Jace sleep. I think Blackburn and Brock are waking up for their "shift." Go say hello to Naima and the kids." Trent put air quotes around shift as he spoke to Ray. The whole team had been coordinating when to sleep, when to eat, when to shower. Just about everything they did revolved around Sonny and when he would be awake versus asleep. They wanted someone with him at all times. They were sticking together through this that was for damn sure. Now that all of the paperwork for the operation was filed Ray would be allowed to say a little bit more, not much by any means, but a little more to Naima and his family.

"You sure man?" Ray seemed hesitant to leave, but he looked down at Sonny who's breathing seemed to finally be leveling out.

"Trent's saved me once already this week. I feel pretty confident he can stitch me up." Sonny's half smile that was clearly forced upon his face put Ray at ease. Only a little bit but still. Ray grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze, "Alright man, I'll go see if Naima is awake." He was already mentally calculating the time in the US.

"Yeah, enough of this pansy emotional crap." Sonny cracked as he pulled his hand away from Ray's. Yup, Sonny was feeling better. Even if it was only because Trent had up-ed his morphine and given him anti-nausea meds. Ray would take anything at this point.

"Hey," Ray turned back around at the door, "Tell Davis I'm sorry about ya know, earlier." Sonny had this sheepish look on his face, it was one Ray didn't see often.

"I'm sure she's already forgot about it brother." Ray turned and left the two men to themselves. Trent was working meticulously.

"Gotta say, it's nice stitching you up without bullets flying, insurgents coming our way, and you threatening to bleed out on the floor of a mine shaft." Trent smiled at his brother as he pulled a stitch through.

"Those better be the prettiest stitches I've ever seen." Sonny shot back. The two guys chuckled, Sonny's much more reserved than Trent's loud laugh. There a silence that fell between them. Trent could practically hear Sonny's mind thinking away and Trent himself was having a hard time focusing on the stitching. All he could think about was being back in that mine shaft. Finally, it was Sonny who broke the silence.

"Listen man," He rubbed his hand across his forehead, "I just wanted to say thanks for saving my ass. It sounds like you had to make some real hard decisions and all I know is that I wouldn't want anyone else making those calls. That was some real cowboy shit, pulling the pipe out and all. Doc earlier said it probably saved my life. Something about sepsis."

Trent paused momentarily, although Sonny could hardly feel it through all the numbing agents.

"It also could've killed ya." Trent's voice was low as he spoke. Obviously full of emotion.

"Well, ya didn't." It was all Sonny could manage. "Man, you could've bled out if I didn't find that artery. You would've bled out a hell of a lot faster than you would've died of sepsis. And not to mention you still got a severe infection, almost lost your leg, and your life."

Now Sonny was getting a little pissed. All he wanted to do was thank the man and here he was fighting it as if he didn't haul his ass, pull out that damn shrapnel, find the bleeder, and stitch him up. Not to mention he had been bleeding out the whole time.

"Don't be actin all sorry on me here. You deserve a thanks. You saved my life Trent. That's not lost on me. They saved the leg. You know me, I'm a stubborn ass. If I have anything to say about it, I'll be walking in a week." Sonny's southern drawl was more pronounced as he fought the drowsiness of the pain meds.

Trent didn't understand how he didn't see it! He had nearly killed him. He listened to Jason when he knew he shoulkdn't have. The bleeding started again. That could have killed him, who knows, maybe the infection was because of that. The fact that Sonny thought he'd be walking soon was practically impossible. It'd be weeks, maybe months.

"I'm finished up here. You should rest." Trent pulled Sonny's gown back down and disposed of the equipment.

"Woah, slow down. Talk to me. What's goin on under all that hair of yours." Trent must of looked pretty damn tormented if Sonny picked up on it. "I'm fine man." Sonny tried one more time to convince him.

"I SAT DOWN MAN! I TOOK A BREAK AND SAT DOWN! THAT'S WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER!" Trent exploded, once he started it was like he couldn't stop. "Jason told me to take a break and I knew I shouldn't have. I had just gotten the bleeding under control! Do you even realize that if Clay hadn't taken a lucky fucking guess, diving his hand in your leg and grabbing near the clamp that you would've bled out before I had even gotten my ass off the ground! You should be wanting to kill me. I could've cost you your life, your leg, hell I might've cost you your career! I sat down Sonny! This is on me. I'm so sorry man, I'm so so sorry." Trent huffed the last part out, it was as if it took all his energy to speak these words.

Sonny was silent for a full minutes before he spoke.

"You listen good because I ain't about to say this again. Your dumbass would've probably died if you hadn't sat the hell down." Sonny panted but pressed on, "You think I would've been able to live with myself if you had bled out because you were too damned stubborn to take two fucking minutes and give yourself a once over. I wouldn't have been able to bear it, and neither would the rest of the team. You know that and I know that so don't come at me with that bullshit."

Sonny paused, but he wasn't finished. "I can live with whatever happens. There is no point in going round and round thinking about if I had lost my leg or my life. It happened, I didn't. I don't need you telling me how you feel you shit the bed. I need you telling me I can do this man. I need my brother not your sorry ass cryin that you sat down to rest so you wouldn't die, and it almost killed me and traumatized the kid. I can handle a lot, but I can't handle that. Feel sorry if you want but just know that I wouldn't have wanted anyone else out in the field makin the calls for me. Not then, not now, not ever." Trent sat there speechless, his head leaned back against the wall, listening to Sonny's words. They washed over him like God's grace. He felt clean again, whole again. For the first time in a week he felt like himself.

"I'll say it one more time." Sonny took a thick swallow, "Thank you for saving my life you son of a bitch." Sonny extended his arm. It was the kind of hand shake extension that you know is mostly an invitation for a hug. Clearly, Trent needed one as he sat there with tears streaming silently down his face. Trent stood, accepted the hand and then the hug.

"I love ya man. We're gonna pull ya through this." Trent held on, "Ya damn right we are." Sonny's voice replied.

Maybe it was telepathy or maybe it was fate, but Blackburn poked his head in.

"Hey, this a good time?" He could tell there was something going on between the two guys, but he thought it looked resolved.

"All good." Sonny said as he closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, all good." Blackburn stepped inside, "Great, I was just coming to see if you wanted to switch. Mandy and I could sit with him." Eric came to the side of Sonny's bed, asking him how he was feeling, all of the usual questions.

"That's a good idea. Listen, Sonny you rest and try to keep those stitches in this time. I'll let your doc know what happened and we'll be sure to keep the anti-nausea meds pumpin." Trent pulled off the surgical scrub he had on for the procedure revealing his normal clothes and then swiftly went to the door. "Take it easy brother and thanks for talking." Trent ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll deny it all." Sonny's voice sounded tired and gruff as he poked back at Trent. Blackburn leaned back in his chair.

"Sir, how are you. Do I need to fill out any reports?" Sonny figured that's why Eric would be in here, especially since he mentioned Mandy was joining him. They would need his reports sooner or later. He wasn't sure how much he'd be able to report for them, but he'd have to do his best.

"Christ no, the other guys are just taking breaks, sleeping, eating, showering, family. I did all of that earlier. There is time for all of that paperwork bull later. Right now, your job is to rest up." Sonny eyed him a little bit. He knew Blackburn cared deeply about the team, he had heard that he even came on the EXFIL truck and was coordinating the whole thing, practically never left the hospital. To have him at his bedside though, that was a little surprising. The guy was nice but still was his superior.

"I'm alright sir." Sonny tried to make himself not sound hazy with drugs and fighting pain with every breath, but he wasn't sure he completed the mission.

"Stop the bullshit, Quinn. Shut your eyes and get some rest. No one is going anywhere, and neither is all the paperwork. As far as the brass knows, you're still incapable of doing any of it until I feel you're up for it. So, when I say rest, I mean you can rest. I'll be here if you need anything." Eric said it was such fierceness that Sonny knew he truly could close his eyes and get some sleep. It was a very welcoming idea.

"Sir?" Blackburn raised his eyebrow after dimming the light, "Thank you for uh, pulling those strings, getting us out. Heard you came with, uh, EXFIL." Sonny said it more of a statement but meant it as a question, not really sure what Eric's response would be. It was simple and to the point, "You're my guys. I had to do what it took to get you home."

"Thank you, sir." Sonny closed his eyes and for a second there was no movement, and then with the faintest of pressures he could feel Blackburn's hand grab his. It was only for a moment, but Sonny knew it was there.

"Of course, kid." There was one more pat of his hand before Sonny sank back into the world of morphine dreams and peace.

Jason paced the hallway that all of the cages branched off of. He could hear Ray quietly talking to Naima and the kids. Jason had already spoken to his children, changed his clothes, and reorganized his cage. He couldn't avoid talking to Clay anymore. He knew he would have to eventually. He wasn't sure exactly why he didn't want to so badly. Maybe it was fear that Clay would lash out and say everything Jason knew was accurate about the Mexico mission. He had been wrong. Or maybe he feared it'd bring up memories of his late best friend. Whatever it was, he couldn't avoid it.

Jason found Clay still in the waiting area that the team had basically taken over. It was right near Sonny's room, so it was the perfect location for them to loiter. He sunk down in the seat across from Clay and stretched his legs out. He had peaked into Sonny's room on his way by and spotted Trent doing something, that he had to admit looked painful, to Sonny. He wanted to investigate but knew he was only putting off the inevitable.

"How's it going Spenc?" Jason hoped his use of "spenc" wouldn't patronize the kid too much. Much to Jason's surprise, Clay looked up.

"I'm good. I was a bit tired earlier, but I fell asleep for a while and now I feel better." Jason couldn't quite place what it was. Maybe it was the look in his eye, or the way his breathing hitched as he said "good", or maybe just because Jason knew he was anything but good. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was that was throwing him off.

The kid wasn't fine.

But hell, he couldn't really call him out on it right now. The mission right now was getting the team home. Get Sonny to survive. Check. Get Sonny to keep his leg. Check. Get Sonny and the rest of the team flown home. Working on it. Then, and only then, could Jason really check in on everyone. He knew the physical wounds would heal with time and patience, but it was the mental ones that he was more worried about. See, those were much easier to hide and a hell of a lot harder to treat.

"You sure man?" The question slipped out of Jason's mouth before he could stop them.

"Yeah, I'm good. You don't have to keep checking on me. You want something to eat? I'm going to the cafeteria." Clay even threw a smile in there for good measure. Jason was confused as hell. As he looked at Clay, he wanted to believe him. Maybe he was good? Maybe he was getting there? All this time to sit around and think… maybe it had been good for him? Jason wasn't sure, right now he couldn't' really deal with it anyway. There had been so much tension between the two of them lately the he knew if he opened that can of worms, he'd have to face it head on and finish it for good. To be completely honest, he didn't think he could handle that right now.

So instead, Jason replied, "Yeah, let's go grab a bite."

Mandy strode up to Sonny's room, peeking inside and spotting Brock sitting in the chair outside of his room.

"He asleep?" She nudged Brock who had Cerberus sleeping at his feet. How he got his dog in the hospital, she did not know but she was not surprised.

"Yeah, he was sick as hell earlier, blew his stitches. Trent had to fix him up. Blackburn is in there with him now." Brock paused, eyeing the laptop and the files under her arm. "He should probably keep resting. Probably not a good time for paperwork and reports." He didn't want to sound accusatory, but he knew that Mandy was reporting to a lot of the higher brass and they could be quite persuasive about when the paperwork needed to be filed.

She frowned at the laptop, "No, I'm just sitting with him. I'll relieve Blackburn in a bit. I won't make him talk until he's ready." Brock nodded, "Just checking." She peeked her head in the room again, Eric had one foot on the bed haphazardly, Sonny was fast asleep as was Eric.

"Where is everyone else?" She had lost track after she went back to the barracks to reassign other teams and sleep.

"Trent is sleeping, Ray is talking to his family and hopefully sleeping. Jason and Clay are making a food run. Davis is, well, to be honest, I'm not sure." Brock paused, unsure if he should push the issue, "She's been real broken up about this." He let the words hang there for a second.

"They're good friends." Mandy's response was direct and to the point. She would not say anything to compromise either of them. Besides, there was nothing concrete between them anyway. No violations.

"Understood." Brock reached down to pet Cerb and Mandy slipped inside Sonny's room, closing the door as quietly as she could. Neither of them even moved, which was surprising as hell. As long as she had known Eric, he had been a light as hell sleeper from years of combat and middle of the night wake ups for operations. He could fall asleep and be awake enough to escape death all in one second.

Her tripping over a chair however, that roused Sonny. His eyes slowly opened at the small noise of the chair skidding a few inches. Eric still hadn't moved. Sonny looked first at Eric, smiling slightly, then to Mandy.

Keeping his voice low he spoke, "Miss Mandy, how's my girl?" For as long as Mandy had known Sonny, he always called her "his girl." It was nothing sexual, not at all. It was just his way of saying, I've got your back because you've always had mine. I'll go to bat for you 10/10 and I'll always knock it out of the park.

"I'm good Sonny. I should be asking how you are?" She took a seat next to him.

"Oh me? I'm swell. Nothin to worry about, out of here in no time." Sonny accepted the water Mandy offered, taking a few drinks.

He turned to Blackburn, "I don't think I've ever seen boss man sleep this deep." Sonny kept his voice low.

"He was really worried about you guys. I'd never seen him like that." Mandy looked at Sonny, his face practically willing her to continue, "He had to be on that EXFIL truck. He was adamant. I think he took a personal responsibility for it. He's hardly slept since you guys were brought in since it was so hectic trying to make sure everyone got treated and rested up."

Sonny stared at his sleeping face for a moment and wondered out loud, "Do you think God makes you a good soldier or a good man first? Or does one constitute the other?"

Mandy paused, "All I know is Eric is both." Sonny nodded, huffing out a short breath.

"Damn right." Another question popped into his head. "Let me ask you something, how's Bravo one holdin up?"

Mandy contemplated how to answer this for a moment before saying, "Good, he's alright." She knew it was a lie, but Sonny didn't need the stress.

"Bullshit. You know it and I know. You're always straight with me, don't start now." Sonny shot at her.

"What do you think Sonny? He told you that you could go. He turned his damn COMS on so you could say your goodbyes. He thought he'd be burying another team mate, another loved one. He held it all on his shoulders while at the same time fighting with Ray. He was falling apart. He knows he was wrong in Mexico, he feels responsible for not seeing the kid with the grenade, he feels responsible for everything."

Mandy took a breath, "Jason was a mess. I won't pretend he wasn't. He's alright now though. He's gotten it together. He's worked things out with Ray, really worked them out, and he's realized that he can't shoulder all of this. It isn't on him, just like it isn't on Clay, or Eric, or Trent, or you. Hell, it's not on the shoulders of the kid with the grenade either. It's on the shoulders of this twisted messed up world that has put us to war with each other. So, no, Jason wasn't ok, and he's probably not great now but he's getting there. He's working on it and he's getting there. He's getting back to being the unbreakable Jason Hayes."

Sonny only nodded, accepting her explanation on Jason and not pushing the subject anymore. In his sleep hazed and drug muddled mind he wasn't sure he could take another Mandy tangent.

He then eyed the stack of files on the chair next to Mandy, "You here for my report? Miss Mandy, when do you sleep?" She smiled at his remark. "Wouldn't you like to know." She shot back, then softer she said, "No, I'm not here for any report, I'm just here to get some work done and make sure you don't conk out on us." This brought a smile to Sonny, then a twinge of pain.

"That's my girl." Mandy was as solid as they come. As quickly as Sonny was relieved that the report was not right now, he realized it'd have to come some time.

"I do gotta give a report soon, though right? I'm sure they're itchin you for it." Sonny knew how this process worked. He had been through it before.

"Yeah, they will but I can hold them off. I'm a big girl. We'll talk when you're ready to talk and when pain meds don't have you soundin like an idiot." Sonny nodded and mutter a quiet thank you. "It could take a while though. To get you to not sound like an idiot." Mandy ribbed him one last time, pulling another small chuckle and wince from him.

"Very funny Mandy. Thinkin you're all cute." His eyes slid shut, sleepiness taking back over.

"Go back to sleep Sonny. I'll be here, we'll talk when you're ready."

With that, Mandy opened her laptop and got to work. She let the steady beep of Sonny's monitors and Eric's quiet snores keep her focused. Everything was alright, at least for now.

AN: Alright! There it is! Hope you enjoyed! I'm posting this on Jan 9 which is a Wednesday night! However, I haven't gotten to see the new episode yet of Seal team! I'll be able to watch tomorrow though so yay! Let me know what you think about this chapter and the episode from this week! In the next chapter or two there will probably be a short time hop FYI.


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